Christian Parents with Girls only please?

Question

My wife and I have 5 kids, the older 3 are boys and their ages are 9, 8, 6, 4, and 3. My boys have always been obedient and full of integrity, but my girls are driving me insane. They don't listen, they get into EVERYTHING cry about EVERYTHING. I've tried talking, time out, spanking, and my wife has tried the same things. ideas?

Answer 1

Girls are absolutely different from boys and require different interaction with parents. The first problem you have is that they are the "babies". It's easier to coddle them simply because of that. Second, being girls, don't expect them to behave or reason like the boys always have. Your wife is probably better at understanding the way they think, but not as good with disciplining them as you should be. If time out doesn't work there is probably a good reason. Time out should be in minutes no longer than their age (3 yrs. old, 3 minutes in time out). Do you have a talk with them just after time out to get them to apologize to "whoever" and to explain what was wrong with their behavior and then kiss them and tell them you love them? If the offense is repeated, do you put them in time out again AND remove a favorite activity for ...say 2 days? Crying, screaming, etc. shouldn't be tolerated either. If it doesn't stop when you say to, then move their time out to the bedroom away from you and the family .....without an audience they will usually stop. If they refuse to sit in time out, you have to stay with them and hold them in the chair. This is hard, but it will eventually work when they see you won't budge. We only had to do this one time with one of our grandchildren and it was hard, but after the 5th time we won him over. Persistence is the key. Don't give in. Don't tolerate bad behavior. And remember every child is different......when you remove privileges you have to remove something that is important to that child. Never slap a child, jerk a child around, yell at them or abuse them in any way....treat them the same way you would treat and respect an adult. You will control them best if you keep yourself in control. You might want to start watching "The Nanny" on tv for some good guildelines and examples. Giving in is the no. 1 worst thing to do. Set your rules and stick to them. The child will learn to respect and appreciate you more......all children need boundaries. It is the only way they truly feel secure and safe. If you enforce the rules, they will respect you for it and in time you will not have so many battles with them................(that is, until they reach teen years...LOL......and that's another course all together! )
Proberbs has a lot of instruction on child rearing you might want to search out
One more thing I thought of is the importance of bedtime stories/talks/prayer with the kids. This is such a special time to connect with the children and build up their trust in the parents. Use that time before sleep, to get their attention, talk about their problems, their dreams, whatever. You can tell a Bible story here and discuss it after, or just read a Bible verse that teaches something simple. Make it real for their age and their world. Finish up with prayer and a hug and "I love you". Problems are created when you neglect the teaching/connecting times. But, line upon line, precept upon precept is how they learn good behavior and the joy it brings. Let them know each day how proud you are that they behaved in a good way(catch them behaving well ea. day) and they will begin trying to please you and get your blessing. It's not the easy way to raise children, but it is the right way. Any good thing we do in this life requires self-sacrifice, but the rewards are always worth it.......besides, we're talking about shaping your precious children into the best they can be for God. It takes persistence, yes, and then more persistence. It gets easier when it becomes a habit and pretty soon you look forward to those times with them and the intimacy it brings. It's wonderful.
Hope this is a help and may God help you to love and correct your precious children. God's blessings on your sweet family.

Answer 2

I have found that ages 3 and 4 are the hardest. People talk about terrible 2's, but I think two was a piece of cake after mine turned about 3 1/2. They get little attitudes and try to tell their parents "no". LOL. I am pretty strict with my kids. I did spank them when they were younger, especially when they were this age. Now, they are 8 and 9 and things are MUCH better. One thing I read was The Strong Willed Child by Dr. James Dobson that said (especially about sibling rivalry) was to encourage them to be a team. Don't see who can brush their teeth or get dressed first. See how fast BOTH of them can get the job done - they learn to encourage each other! Anyway, just remember that this age (too) will pass - (waaaaaaay too fast - time flies when they're little).

Answer 3

Girls are most definitely tougher to raise. You are much more accustomed to boys and their behavior. Girls don't fit into their pattern in any way. Girls are catty by nature. Especially when you have 2 of them together. I would encourage you, Dad, to take one of your little girls at a time and give her your undivided attention, a daddy date possibly. Girls cry out for attention from Daddy from their earliest years. GIVE IT TO THEM! If you don't they will find it in the arms of another man in their teens and you will have no opportunity to turn the tides at that point.
Boys you can rough up and the rougher you are the more they like it. They fall and scratch their leg a little you tell them just rub it and get up and play. Not so with girls.
I have two absolute awesome young ladies who I desperately worked with daily to keep them on the straight and narrow because their dad did not have the foresight to be that girl kind of daddy! I love my girls intensely and in spite of their father they are wonderful people but I don't recommend that you take the chance.
I am the 6th child of 10 children. 6 boys 4 girls. My Dad was an awesome man who worked his fingers to the bone to provide for us. We were not raised in a Christian home and were not taught any godly reason to live right. We didn't, until we met Christ.

I wish you well!

Answer 4

My wife and I raised a boy and a girl. The girl was the youngest. Girls do tend to be more emotional than boys. My suggestion is to be consistent with what you consider to be acceptable behavior and be consistent with the punishment for disobeying that behavior. You and your wife must present a united front in dealing with them or they will play you against each other. As you are aware, kids naturally push the boundary set up for them but things will get better with time if you remain consistent and united with your wife...God bless.

Answer 5

I and my spouse are Christians and God sent us a beautiful daughter. She is three. Three and four are difficult ages but just wait until they are 9 and 13!! There is a really great book called Sheparding a Child's Heart...I can't remember the author but it is by a Christian man and Dr. Dobson is another great author on the subject of raising children if you are looking for Christian advice. Hope this helps =)

Answer 6

Honestly, it may not just be a gender thing, it could also be a birth order thing paired with the young age. Families of first born girls, they often aren't that way, while the younger ones...like my sister...learn very early how to carry on and act dramatic to get attention. They also learn to take any opportunity to get into whatever they want while the parents attention is on another child.

Answer 7

i had a pretty rocky relationship w/my father and i was a very rebellious little girl. my dad tried everything - he even tried beating it out of me... many times, and well into my teenage years!

your daughters are so young, i cant really give you advice for their age group... but i can tell you, when they become interested in boys the best way to keep them away from abusive men is to never be abusive to them - verbally, emotionally, and/or physically...

remember that the example you're setting for them is what they will seek in a man - you are setting their standard now. and this doesn't begin when they're teenagers!

i started having abusive relationships with men and boys when i was as young as 12, and that is a reflection of how early my relationship w/my father was hindered.

Answer 8

seems that the girls, who really are still toddlers, are in competition with the boys for attention. Since the boys are now more of 'having fun age' (camping, baseball etc), the girls might feel left out. You might need a 'girls only' thing for them. Anything positive in the way of reinforcing their behavior is good. Yes, girls are a tad more emotional (and wait, because the teen years are coming!), so just be sure to spend 1-1 time with them...{{{{Empress Hug}}}}

PS - tell them Empress Gram says hello and for them to start to act like Ladies! (this worked with my daughter)

Answer 9

You do understand that time out is not a punishment right? Time out is a place for the kid to relax, then you talk with them about their behavior and then, give them their consequence.

For instance, child throws toy.

You sit them in chair until they are calm, explain that throwing toys because you can hurt somebody. Now, because it's not ok to throw toys, you don't get to play with this toy for the rest of the day. See, also, making the consequence fit the crime is best.

Answer 10

lol.. I'm going through that too. And I heard boys were the worst! You just have to be patient with them and come up with a punishment that works to keep them in line. Sooner or later they'll learn that if they touch this off-limits object, *this* will happen...or if they throw an unnecessary tantrum, *that* will happen. Let each crime have a clear consequence. Consistency is key.