Sibling trouble?

Question

I have a sibling whom I live with in the same home. Our parent passed away and they moved in first. However, I did move in and they seem to be very bitter to me. I have a job but I do not drive. I have an illness so I can not drive. The other day they stated that I owe them 200.00 for gas in the car for taking me back to forth to work. They do not work. However, I also pay half of the mortgage and half of the utilities. I was furious because there was no agreement having to deal with the gas for the car. So, they wrote me a lettinr demanding payment that was backdated from 4 months ago. I replied that I would not pay utilities twice and that I am hardly home to use the utilities in the home and to put the money I give them toward the gas in the car and I would pay 1/6 of the utilities in the home. They have not replied yet to me on my proposal but, I am wondering am I being fair to both of us or not? I did stated I was not going to backpay that far. What should I do?

Answer 1

This junk about writing demand letters and issuing bills is STUPID.
Everyone needs to sit down, look at ALL the bills, and do a spreadsheet and a budget, then everyone needs to contribute their fair share. This needs to become a partnership with everything spelled out.
If you are paying half the mortgage and are the only one with a job, the other sibling needs to understand that a little cooperation is a good idea.

Perhaps you could work a deal wherein you pay for the actual MILEAGE you use (look at the odometer and write it down)... if they have to start up the car for a special trip to take you to work and back, the mileage both ways would count.

Apart from that, I would suggest that you find a nice little apartment along a bus route close to where you work and move there.

Answer 2

It doesn't seem that they are asking for too much for the gas. Vehicle expenses actually go beyond gasoline to run the car, there's maintenance, insurance, & the wear & tear on the vehicle as well.

I do agree with you however, that it isn't fair to spring new expenses on you like that. It would have been better if they had either told you ahead of time, or let you know that from now on, you were liable for a share in the expenses for driving you around.

Vehicles are expensive, & if they don't have jobs, they may be getting desperate for ways to cut costs. If you don't share in the cost of the vehicle, their next alternative might be to take the car off the road entirely.

Answer 3

You sound like my husband and his brother - this was just how they were after their parents died and before I rescued him by getting married and sharing my home with him.
I think it is fair that you cover the cost of the petrol for taking you to work. He/she still has the cost of upkeep of the car and is giving up their time to chauffeur you.
Sending each other letters is Petty. Grow up and try to communicate like adults. Compromise by paying something but not such a large amount of back money.
(Do you argue over the food as well - like my husband and his brother used to?) The ideal answer would be to each have your own homes and live independently. It'd cost you both more!