car and house and is always super nice. No problem right? I feel like a complete loser compared. I work from home, rarely excersize because I am working, I always seem stressed out and always say yes to people so I never have time to myself. I don't take care of myself and I look like it. I guess I have low self esteem and I find myself saying the dumbest things to her....telling her everything and she shares little to nothing. She is very tight to the vest and is very concerned with being perfect. How can I raise myself up, get some dignity and be a confident person that is not intimidated by my neighbor?
2007-10-29 11:25:32 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Sounds like there are a few things you would like to change about yourself. Start there. It is good to set a goal and achieve it. Inspiration to do so comes in all kinds of places. As you reach a few goals, you will either find that your neighbor and you have a lot in common or that you don't need her approval to be a good person. Good luck!!
2007-10-29 11:31:55 · answer #1 · answered by absent farmer 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you aspire to be better you have to set in motion the things that will help to achieve your goals. A few counseling sessions could help you with your self esteem issues if you can't handle it by yourself. Take a half hour each day and do some sort of exercise....go for a walk, invest in an elliptical...do something. Exercise also decreases your stress level as well as helps with your self esteem. When you look better, you feel better. Make a little time to get ready in the morning as if you were going out to work. No business suit is required, just something nice and put on some make up. And don't feel the need to say yes to everyone who asks something of you. Only do what is possible and doesn't take away from your own time. People will take advantage of you when you never say no. There really isn't any need to tell her everything and anything. Keep your personal life to yourself, be polite, and share common stuff. I think you are overtalking to try to get her to like you. You shouldn't really care. You are your own person. Try to recognize that and realize you don't have to be intimidated by your neighbor. Her life may not be as perfect as you think.
2007-10-29 19:22:19 · answer #2 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop worrying about your neighbor first off.
Second - don't use the excuse that you are working to not exercise. In the end, you need to come first. If you need to get up earlier, then do it. We can always find excuses. But if you start a routine, and make it a habit, you'll feel bad when you don't do it.
I work from home too and I recently took on extra work. It was really hard to adjust my running schedule and I made some excuses at first, but then realized what I was doing to myself. I just get going earlier. And the exercise will help with your stress.
Honestly, making that change will boost how you feel about yourself - you really will feel better and it will spill over into other areas of your life. Just give it a try. It takes up to two weeks for something to become a habit, so don't quit and give up!
2007-10-29 19:16:26 · answer #3 · answered by jkc 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are like many people. You look for approval in how you compare to others. There is no race to win with your neighbors, and no rankings in life. There will always be someone richer, better off, happier, and more "together" than you. A race to match your neighbor will undoubtly find another hurdle beyond it, and another beyond that.
Instead of keeping up with Ms. Jones next door, learn about yourself and what you like in life and what you want from the rest of it. Develop passions, pursuits, relationships, and good times for yourself. From that, you'll know what makes you happy and content so you can just go about your life, winning the race to your own happiness.
Focus your life on the good things, and your life will be filled with joy. The trick to that is finding out what are the "good things" for you.
2007-10-29 18:40:51 · answer #4 · answered by comixguru 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How you dress reflects how you feel about yourself. You must take time for yourself and prioritize yourself. I know you have to work but what about YOU. No need to work if you can't enjoy your labor. I think once you do this everything else will fall in place. You will exercise, be neater, and think before you speak. But First you must see yourself like that in order to get there. Be confident by approaching not just the neighbor next door but any woman. So what if it seems like she have it all together, in reality she may not. She may be more active, focus and confident but we all lack something and it may be "You"she's lacking. You may be the one that break her barriers down....then after wards you never know..
2007-10-29 18:43:40 · answer #5 · answered by Niga 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Self esteem does need to be earned a little, it's not automatic...
you listed a whole bunch of things you don't make time to do for yourself... the only way to fix that is to make time for them.
You shouldn't compare yourself to others, but at the same time, you can't have self esteem when you're not taking care of yourself.
2007-10-29 18:30:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋