My friend and his son's mother are divorced . When his ex -- wife picks up the little boy at my friend's house, she asks him to look out the door for her . If he doesn't look out the door, she sits in her car and honks her horn . She's trying to avoid getting out of the car when the weather's cold . I say "That's why they make coats !" . The little boy doesn't think his mother should ring the doorbell in cold weather, he doesn't think looking out the window for his mother is too much too ask, and he doesn't think waiting in the car is bad manners . He says we're being unreasonable . NOW -- who's right ? IS waiting in the car bad manners ? Is there a book or a website that says it's bad manners to wait in the car in this situation ? Is there a way I can convince the little boy and his mother ?
2007-10-29 10:16:34 · 14 answers · asked by Sad and Single 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
That is different that is a parent thing if it were a father and daughter it would be the same. There is a diffrent relationshiop there.
2007-10-29 10:22:05 · answer #1 · answered by Big Daddy R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suspect that the reason the Mom wants a look out the door is to know that you care who's car your child is getting into. When you come to her house do you sit in the car or get out and deliver to the door? OK I can see where you might have a comment or two about the last statement. She obviously hasn't had a serious crisis in her family about children. Personally I think a transfer of custody is essential to the safety of the child, it's also a good time to give an update on the current conditions that need to be known, no matter how old they are. She hasn't had a scary thing happen yet. Thank heaven!
2007-10-29 10:35:43 · answer #2 · answered by helprhome 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be easy to start with exceptions to the rule........car won't start again, other babies in the car, doesn't want to come face-to-face with the ex, she may not want you to smell alcohol on her breath, there's a cast on her leg and its hard to get in and out of the car,.........
The fact is, this is a LITTLE BOY
it is up to all caretakers to let the other know when the duty is changing hands, and that the child is in good hands. This is no different than the Kindergarten teacher standing and watching until each child is picked-up by the proper guardian.
Convenient or not, the caretaker (parent or not) needs to communicate or acknowledge to the other that all is well and it's a changing of the guard. In the event that all is not well, it is up to both parties to communicate that, or to question what has gone on that may negatively impact this child.
It is a parental necessity to meet the child & caretaker at the door. And, it is also just plain good manners.
Once a child is into his teens, it might be a little different, as the teen is more responsible for himself and can transport himself without assistance.
2007-10-29 10:41:31 · answer #3 · answered by Hope 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this case I don't think it's bad manners...... on the opposite, I think this is appropriate so your friend doesn't need to "socialize" with the ex. If I were the new lady in this gentleman's life, I'd prefer things to be this way. Of course the mother could come out of the car and greet her son once he has come out of the door.......... but I don't think she MUST come out of the car and ring the bell if the boy is already waiting for her to arrive and ready to go, he should come out quick and thus nobody loses any time........
2007-10-29 11:14:27 · answer #4 · answered by Lprod 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I'm a go to the door kind of person. It seems like you are rushing everyone when you sit and honk, not to mention bothering the neighbors. But I don't think it is bad manners in this case, so long as the child is safe, i.e isn't crossing the street by himself or anything like that. Also, and not to be rude to you here, but since you aren't one of the boy's parents, it's not really your business, is it?
2007-10-30 08:30:16 · answer #5 · answered by missbeans 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Convince them of what? There's a big difference between picking someone up for a social event (i.e., a date) and a family member (or ex-family member, depending on how you look at it) picking someone up on the way to somewhere else (i.e., a mom who is picking up her child on the way home.) It's not as though the father doesn't know the mother! I agree that it would be NICE if the mother occasionally came to the door and greeted the father, but if they are unfriendly, it may be the best way to keep the peace.
2007-10-29 10:24:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it's fine if she wants to wait in the car, and he should be able to acommodate that, but if she feels she has been waiting too long, she could either call on a cell phone or go to the door. Honking the horn is rude to the whole neighborhood.
2007-10-29 12:56:17 · answer #7 · answered by cindylouwho38 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't want to be in the cold or she doesn't want to deal with her ex?
I say your friend should just let her honk, then go to the door and let his son in. It's not that big a problem in the grand scheme of things and at least he doesn't have to have the awkward moments of small talk with the ex!
2007-10-29 10:36:49 · answer #8 · answered by startwinkle05 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i've got had an identical maximum suitable buddy simply by fact the third grade and that i'm 27 now. he's in basic terms as lots a brother as my actual brother and his kinfolk is nearly a 2nd kinfolk to me. I quite have infrequently ever considered him for the previous couple of years simply by fact of distance and not sufficient loose time, yet you bypass by way of long sessions of no longer with the ability to loaf around like that for the time of the time of your life, yet on the tip of the day we are consistently there for another. consistently.
2016-10-03 00:05:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is the kid even in the conversation? Let the Mom honk the horn if she wants. This is just too trifling to even be worrying about.
2007-10-29 10:32:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋