Make me smile?

Question

im feeling sad!!! and im at work i have to smile at all times i work at a hotel and it's hard to greet someone and smile. and well i just cant do it!!!! can some one make me smile???? or laugh. i dont want it to effect my work.

(reason why my boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me he said that he dont love me anymore)

Answer 1

I feel sooooo bad 4 u, and that's a lame excuse 4 breaking up w/ u, how can u not love someone anymore after 5 years, I find that impossible there's probably another reason, anyway...

Try this forward I got, It made me laugh!:

Put your iTunes or iPod on shuffle, then hit next when you get to a new
question.

1.What does next year have in store for me?

2.What does my love life look like?

3.What do I say when life gets tough?

4.What do I think of when I get up in the morning?

5.What song will I dance to at my wedding?

6. What do I want as a career?

7.My favorite saying?

8.Favorite place?

9.What do I think of my parents?

10.Where would I go on a first date?

11.Drug of choice?

12.Describe myself.

13.What is the thing I like doing most?

14.The song that best describes the president?

15.What is my state of mind like at the moment?

16.How will I die?

17.The song that will be played at my funeral?

OR MAYBE THIS ONE:

A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary.
His wife told him "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat." The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday

HERE'S ANOTHER ONE:

Only in America .do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of
the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes
at the front.
Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a
diet coke.
Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to
the counters.
Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the
driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America .do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages
of eight.
Only in America .do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so
well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking
creatures'.
Only in America .do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER ...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can' t put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made
with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't
they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity
and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a
chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every
once in a while.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why
they call it present.

THAT'S A LOT, I'LL STOP NOW ^.^

Answer 2

awwwww wat a jerk! u deserve better!

Divorced Barbie?
A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. "How much is that Barbie in the window?", he asks the shop assistant.

In a manner she responds, "Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $395.00. "

The guy asks, "Why is Divorced Barbie different from all the others ?

"That's obvious," the assistant states, "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture... "






How To Clean Your Toilet?
Instructions on how to clean your toilet

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse".

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely,

The Dog





i got 1 more for u lol




Cheating Husband?
1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.
2nd woman: Hi! I'm Kelly. How'd you die?
1st woman: I Froze to Death.
2nd woman: How Horrible!

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.

Answer 3

Blonde Painter

A blonde was determined to prove to her husband that all blondes were not dumb, so she decided to paint the living room.
Her husband came home and found her painting while wearing a leather jacket with a ski jacket over it.
When he asked her why she was wearing the jackets, she said the instructions said it was better with two coats.

Answer 4

i work at a nails shop and i was feeling the same thing at the beginning, but i'm used to smiling to people now and it actually feels good being friendly. just say hi and smile to them like it costs you nothing. what the heck. you look prettier when you smile of course.

Answer 5

teresa m, Sweety I could not see what you saw in him from the begining ! A beautiful girl like you ,it made me sad. Sadder than you are now I bet !!! Well baby Jesus loves you and so do I !

Answer 6

Yo momma so fat, She was walking to mcdonalds and tripped over Wendy's and fell on Burger King.

Answer 7

ok gurl, i can make u laugh for sure....

(I had 3 dogs, all boys) one night i went in the backyard bcause i heard my puppy screaming. i turned on the patio light and saw that one of the bigger dogs was next to my puppy.(its very important that u try to picture this)they were butt 2 butt. Everytime the bigger dog would try to walk away, my dog would be pulled backwards in the same direction screaming his heart out. I didnt see why this was. I walked over to take a closer look...They were stuck together...I still didnt see how this was possible. So i lifted up the bigger dogs leg to find the most disgusting thing you would ever find......The bigger dogs dick was stuck in my puppy's ***. Thats why my puppy was screaming and thats why they were stuck. i tried to pull them apart but my puppy would only scream more. The bigger one wasnt screaming cuz it was his dick. it probly felt good to his nasty ***. EVENTUALLY, my puppy SHITTED out the dick( which came out all purple and swollen looking). My poor puppy couldnt sit down right for like 2 days. He's probly gay now.


Hope that made u smile:)

Answer 8

Two newly weds were staying at a hotel during their honeymoon.
The woman came out of the bathroom one night with her robe on.
Her husband said, Take off your robe, we're married now.
So she did.
Then he asked, Can I take a picture?
The woman said, why?
So I can carry it with me and have you near my heart forever.
The woman smiled and said okay.

Then next night the man came out of the bathroom with his robe on.
His wife said, Take that off, we're married now.
So he did.
Then she asked, Can I take a picture?
He said, why?
And she answered, So I can get it enlarged.

Answer 9

Don’t feel bad – I used to be married to my Siamese twin but now we are separated. You will find someone else. Or someone else might find you.

Answer 10

WE'RE going streaking!!!!

corn ears?

long broomsticks?

there's enough soap here to buy a shower!?