How can I stop feeling weird about this?

Question

a coworker and i were emailing each other and he said let's make luv and i said i wasn't sure. anyway later on in the day, he told me he wanted to touch me and me touch him. i then changed my mind and told him i wanted us to touch. after his shift was over, we met at the top floor of the library which is where we work and we tried find a spot, but he had bad breath and looked unclean. he could tell i wasn't sure and told me we shouldn't do it since i wasn't sure and that i wasn't into it. he just seemed really cool about it when i asked him if he was upset and he seemed laid back. he could tell i was nervous and confused and he kinda hugged me. the next day i emailed him from home saying that I want him and me to still do it, but then he said he couldn't do it since he was horny and that i should do it with some1 i luv since he has a gf . he said he was sorry/ that he hoped i didn't feel used. thing is i try to talk 2 him like nothing happend, but sometimes he acts distant

Answer 1

As soon as you reach adulthood, enroll in a class that teaches professional behavior in the workplace. In the meantime, raise you personal standards. Now he knows that as soon as he whistles, you'll come panting after him like a dog heat.

Be grateful that the relationship ended with you suffering only slight humiliation. Don't subject yourself to any more.

Answer 2

Girrrrrrl!!

OK. You had a moment. A moment where both of ya'll were kind of feeling freaky and adventurous but LUCKILY, you backed out. So what do you do now?

Go back to acting like nothing happened because:

1) nothing did happen. It almost did but it didn't

2) he's already given you an answer: HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND. (in other words, he had a moment of weakness but he's not trying to keep this going)

3) The place to hook up is NOT at work. With snoopware and everything else, you can lose your job over stuff like this

Bottom line: He may be awkward talking to you for a while, but that's ok, this is an awkward situation. You just keep treating him like nothing happened and eventually things will be back to normal.

Don't email him anymore unless it's absolutely work related. Professional distance is what this situation needs.

Answer 3

You won't stop feeling weird about it. That was very inappropriate behavior on his part, first of all since he is your coworker (someone should tell the both of you what "sexual harassment" means) and secondly because he has a gf. He is acting distant because he thought he could just use you for sex and now he's finding that it's not going to be that simple. Stay away from him. He is bad news.

P.S. Just because a guy finds you attractive and voices it doesn't mean you're obligated to anything.

Answer 4

Work place romances in my book are a no,no first , and second you were about to get busy with a dirty boy, at work, tacky. You and him should have gone somewhere else and done if if you just had to, plus you should have had some kind of understanding, did you know about the girlfriend, what a dog, he has a lady and was going to get a little on the side. Have some self respect for yourself honey, no one else will if you do not.

Answer 5

I know, it's a weird situation, but u should try to talk to him as if something DID happen because it did :-) it's ok if ur chats get shorter and faster and more subjective, go on with it, eventually things'll go back to normal when he realises that there's nothing to be acting all weird about, nothing happened, he just needs some space to sort things out, c he's seems a bit confused :-)
good luck!

Answer 6

How old are you? You sound very young and to 'do it' in the work environment? People do not fo that. You can't just email someone and ask them that. Have a little more respect for yourself. At least he had a decency to back out once he realized what he was doing

Answer 7

The weird feeling will go away with time. In the interim, the best thing to do is keep your interactions with him completely professional - no personal emails, no trysts in the reference section, etc. This will help you avoid situations where you might feel awkward or uncomfortable.

Answer 8

Sounds to me like he wanted to start something just to get you going then when you want to he pulls his I can't do it I have a girlfriend and saying you need to do it with some one you love. Give me a brake the airhead starts something then when you want to do it he chickens out.Don't bother he just wanted to play head games.Now he is playing the hard to get card don't fall for his ****just stop e-mailing him and let him go.PS before you stop e-mailing him, to make you feel better e-mail him one more time and tell him you you lost your mind for a minute and thought he was a real man but you was wrong.

Answer 9

In time the feeling will go away, but for now be strong and concentrate on somebody who deserves to get in your pants. For my friend's sake, who works in an actual library and tells me stories like this, do it else where, never at work, I know it may part of you fantasy, but unless you're ready to quit your job then by all means

Answer 10

umm, probably easier said then done, but if he has gone about his buisness and doesnt make a big deal out of it then you should be able to do the same! obviously there is going to be WEIRD feelings afterwards thats only normal.....but its what YOU make come of those feelings, toss em' to the back of the closet and go find your next victim.....away from work LOL!
best of luck with you and your situation!