Relationship help: Should I wait and see what happens, or confront him?

Question

I have a sticky situation, though it might not be an uncommon one. So, here it goes..

He and I have known each other for just about a year now, but at first it was only as acquaintances. Over the summer, we became really close as friends. He has a past history of flirting with other people, getting them to fall head over heels for him, and then ignoring them after he has lost interest, which happens between 2 days - 2 weeks, usually. He's never actually been in a relationship by standard conventions, though; it almost seemed to us(meaning other friends and I) that it was just a game for him, to see whom he could get to like him, testing out his skills or something. Recently, starting around 1.5 months ago, he began taking a liking towards me... but I have been more resistant to his flirtations than I guess 'other' girls.

At first, when this happened, my friends thought it was just one of his 'flings' again, so I proceeded with caution, but after a while, they began noting that something was different in the way he liked me, and treated me. Now, through his actions, many are 100% convinced that this isn’t one of his ‘flings’, and that he truly does have genuine feelings for me, feelings that he may not have ever had for all the other girls he courted. “It’s just different,” as my best friend said. My best friend also has proof of him saying that he liked me, though I’m not supposed to know that. :] He and I have gone on ‘dates’ I suppose, though those were strictly platonic and as friends.

As for my feelings towards him, though I am aware of his past history and still have doubts about his intentions, I care deeply for him – I want to see him happy, and when he isn’t, I am sad. I don’t understand why he has chosen me though; usually the girls he goes after are beautiful and amazing, and I am just ordinary and mundane.. I also cannot help but think, as irrational as it might be, that this is just going to be another ‘notch on his belt’, and that he is only feigning interest. I’m also afraid of getting into a relationship, because of time constraints, priorities, my insecurities, and my fear of not being able to make him happy. Plus, it has only been 1.5 months… I cannot tell if it is just an infatuation, though my friends claim that he has had feelings for me for much longer than 1.5 months. I am not sure if I am just infatuated with him as well, but I know that I value him as a best friend regardless.

Don’t get me wrong, this guy is actually a very awesome person, and everyone knows that, and I don’t believe he means to hurt anyone intentionally.

Do you think time will play a major role in what happens? Should I be patient and wait a few months to see if this dies down? Or should I confront him about his/our feelings? I would not want to rush it.. I really think that this could be a good thing, but I may be biased with my emotions.

Answer 1

Wait. Just the way to be smart about these things, you've done good with playing hard to get, never let that up, its the test. Are one of many, and its tried and true. If he's geniune, and your honest, he has to, because that's love baby, if not, you'll shake the boy off. So just keep it simple, keep that "thing" wwwaaaayyyy in the back, and just see how this develops. I couldn't get your age, but with those english skills I can tell you pretty intellgent, keep that up. Really your frist instinct is the best, its a rarity for a person to change, but not unheard of. Also I'm a bit worried about you, you show them skills, but you falling in love like this, and with this, and not being sure, or a good sign of a frist-timer. You should know a bit about what it is your going thru, if not, its the frist time coming, with that; take extra caution. Again making him prove his worth, and be honest with him too, all thru whatever happens, honesty most be accepted, you can only accept thru understanding, understanding is love, but only time tells for sure......