ok ppl keep saying stay here where i am to support my husband.i dont care where i am i am supporting him no matter where i live,weather im in forthood TX or eugene OR.my husband was wanting me to go home cause we got two kids and i am pregnant so a familys support and comfort for 15 months is nice.
2007-10-29 08:50:46 · 14 answers · asked by babyphat.1984 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
This last time my unit deployed to Iraq i was chose as the Company Rear Detachment Commander. The way we handled this questions was, move were ever you think it will make it easiest for you. Supporting your soldier is not a where you are issue. It can be done from where ever you want. Just make sure you have good contact numbers, Staff Duty, Rear Detachment Commander, And Family Readiness leaders and Key callers. Also make sure and time you move from location to location you give them good contact numbers for you and some one else to contact you in case they can not get hold of you. In your situation by all means go home and spend time with your family. Good luck
2007-10-29 09:27:56 · answer #1 · answered by mike_bellnj 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I'm an Army wife who's **almost** thru with my hubby's deployment thankfully and thought I'd put my two cents in for what they're worth. And from my own experience, I learned the hard way throughout the first couple of months - STAY WHERE YOU ARE AT. We're in Ft Hood also and even though the place isn't the greatest city to live in, trust me.. you don't wanna fall into the old family thing. You're right support from your family is very important at this time, but I learned that if anything a "visit" is better than totally moving your whole life around. Plus.. it makes me feel better having my husbands things still hanging in the closet, getting things ready for him, etc. Feels comfortably "normal". Also, staying informed through your husbands COC is way easier here at Hood. I don't care what anyone says, they DO NOT keep you well informed when you live far away, not near as much than if were here. Good luck in whatever you decide, stay strong for your kiddo's and hubby!
2007-10-30 23:11:40 · answer #2 · answered by tankerwife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In most ways you can support him from anywhere but you've got to look at both the emotional and the financial side of things before you make this decision.
Figuring out where you're going to have the most people around to help you out is only part of the equation. Where are the people who are actually going to help you be? I have at least one friend who went home expecting help only to find that everyone had full time jobs that were more important than her, the kids or the new baby. It doesn't happen to everyone but think about it before you commit.
Are you prepared to pay for 2 moves? The military isn't going to pay for you to clear your current home or to move back once the deployment is done. Are you taking all your stuff and totally moving or or leaving it behind in storage? Are you at a place where you can break your lease? Even some privatized military housing charges fees for that. And deployment orders aren't usually covered by the Military clause in civilian leases.
Getting information can be a big thing too. If you're far away prepare to feel cut off from the information flow. Most time and date messages can't go out over phone lines or in e-mail.
I'm not saying don't head home but don't do it without being prepared to pay for it and being ready to handle the extra stress it can sometimes cause.
2007-10-29 21:46:08 · answer #3 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband was in Iraq when I was pregnant and I moved home to be near my family. Since my hubby is a Marine, his deployments have only been 7 months and I was 8 1/2 months pregnant when he returned. I couldn't travel that far, so I missed his homecoming, but he got his leave 2 days before our son was born so it worked out. It makes sense to want to be around family while you are pregnant and have two other children. You'll need the support, and you can support him from there as well.
2007-10-29 15:56:13 · answer #4 · answered by .. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with going home while your husband's deployed, lots of people do it. People who aren't in your situation don't know what its like to live thousands of miles away from family while you're pregnant with young kids.. most people never move a couple hundred miles away from family. The best way to support your husband is to make sure you stay mentally and emotionally strong and do whatever it takes to stay that way. If it means going home, then by all means, go home... don't let other people's judgements get to you.
2007-10-29 16:18:00 · answer #5 · answered by Denise S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First stop letting other people get to you, second if you want to go home then go, I left when my husband Deployed in 05 to be closer to family, but I return home because I felt my place was in our house, my reasons are mine.
It doesnt matter where you are you can continue to support your husband . Good luck with the baby, dont let anyone try to make you feel bad , I would question more why they want you to stay so bad .. go home be with people who will support you and your children as well as your husband, that is what you need right now.
Good luck,
Armywife & Soldier
2007-10-30 16:35:24 · answer #6 · answered by Justice35 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, its a personal choice.. but consider this:
will you have Tricare access? prime or otherwise, if you go home? Will you be able to access a base for facilties such as commissary, Exchange, MWR, Education? what about being kept in the loop re: the deployment? Most FRGS do not always let people know any information by email or phone, only in person. Will the current BAH be enough to rent a place where you move to, as it will NOT change? if you are in housing, you will lose housing and must go to the bottom of the list when you get back. NO costs incurred will be reimbursed. can you afford to move, including packing all of your stuff in storage?
as for support: is there anyone in your family who TRULY knows what it is like living through a deployment? some kinds of support are more important than others.
2007-10-29 16:36:54 · answer #7 · answered by Mrsjvb 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Stay were ever you are comfortable, sometimes the FRG is not a good support group, they try, but they just arn't as good as a good church or your own family. Some people move back home with their family during deployments and some women prefer the support of their church over the FRG, whatever it is, stay were you are comfortable with. I was gonna go see my family during the time my hubby was gone, but he thought I would be on vacation, or he couldn't protect me, since my dad alledgably molested me (we get along now) so I decided to stay were I was.
2007-10-29 16:55:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
when my husband left me for the first time. I had just moved out to san diego in 2000 and i knew no one.. so i went home when he deployed. His other deployments i only go home to visit for a while then come back to our base. It's really up to you. It would be good for you to go home so you can have some help with your kids and just make sure and get your medical stuff taken care of , call tricare and switch your PCM to your hometown
good luck deployments are always hard. I know i have been through 6 of them
2007-10-29 21:15:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband just got home from being deployed for 15 months, during which I moved back to my hometown (Portland, OR). He came back and I moved back to Fort Lewis with him-there's nothing wrong with wanting and needing support from your family, especially when you're essentially going to be a single mom for the next year. Good luck!
2007-10-29 15:54:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋