I am friends with this guy, and he's very sweet, but I don't know if I want to date him. He also briefly dated a friend of mine, who is the jealous type. I am worried that she will be upset if I go out with him, since he was he first guy to actually ask her out. This was some months ago, and I am sure they are not dating anymore.
I can't decide if I like him, or if I want to stay just friends. Since guys rarely ask me out, I have very little experience with dating. I got so used to hanging out that I didn't think twice about a friendly hug, but now I feel a bit nervous. What do I do? If I back out I will feel like I led him on.
I feel so silly, after all I am twenty one. But I think that not dating in high school or college much has stunted my social growth a bit, since I am honestly confused.
2007-10-29 08:49:53 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You don't seem like you're very interested in this guy. If you choose to go ahead and tell him yes, then you're running the risk of you ruining 3 friendships. Yours and his when you eventually reject him, yours and hers because she will be jealous, and hers and his also because of jealousy. It doesn't seem worth it to me. I wouldn't do it if I were you. Liking someone is not something you have to decide on. You either do or you don't. If you're 21 and feel like your social growth has been stunted...I wouldn't suggest trying to bloom with someone that you're not sure about. You could always give it time. You could also, talk to the girl who liked him. The choice is really up to you, though. Good luck!
2007-10-29 08:58:14 · answer #1 · answered by Teresa Dagger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many women won't date someone who has dated their friend in the past. It can be a problem if the friend has issues letting go. I am here to tell you that it can work out fine. I briefly dated my husbands best friend (he's in fact how we met). He ran it by him first and he had no problem with it. You might want to do the same, but since she is the "jealous" type I'd wait until maybe after the first date if you think it might go somewhere.
2007-10-29 15:54:56 · answer #2 · answered by tetlitea 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough call, but since you seem to be on the fence as to whether you actually like this guy or not, my vote is to keep the status quo and don't go out with him. That nagging feeling about your friend getting jealous will always be in the back of your head, so right off the bat you have two strikes against dating him. Tell him straight-up that you like him as a friend but you're just not interested in him in that way.
2007-10-29 15:55:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like you are too thrilled about going out with this guy. If you decide to go first tell your friend that used to date him. If she is upset or hurt, you might want to reconsider. If she doesn't care, tell him you would love to go out, but only as friends. That way, there are no expectations, and nobody gets hurt. And, it may turn into something more, but if it does, it won't be because you were "dating." It will be because you started as friends, and ended up feeling more towards each other.
Don't sweat this - just take it lightly and have some fun. Life is just too short!!!
2007-10-29 15:56:15 · answer #4 · answered by nurse ratchet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish my daughter was here to confirm this for me. She came home about three weeks ago escaping her other two roommates which were having a battle royal over some guy who had dated the other for about 6 months. Now their problem was simple THEY LIVE TOGETHER and the guy was coming over and spending time with the other roommate and there were still hard feelings (He as she told it was a cheat) My point is this if you are a close friend to his ex then BAD IDEA females regardless can be very territorial. Keep your friend find another love interest and keep your reputation in tact.
2007-10-29 15:59:10 · answer #5 · answered by deniseandreu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go out with him.
If you don't hit it off, fine. You will probably have a pleasant date with someone who was a friend, and you'll probably still be friends afterwards. If you do hit it off, you've found someone you like to be with and to date. What's not to like?
You are not responsible for your friend's emotional well-being. If she gets jealous, tell her that they broke up months ago, and besides that, you're not still in 8th grade. Maybe this will be the event that causes her to finally mature a bit.
2007-10-29 15:54:45 · answer #6 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you just date this guy? If you like him after a few dates then good but if not then you find someone else.
Try not to worry about upsetting someone because no matter what you do there will be someone upset.
2007-10-29 15:58:05 · answer #7 · answered by wayne s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should talk to you friend about it first. If she says no then you know that she is not a very good friend but i dont think she would. After that if you do like him go say yes and have some fun like you aid you are 21 and thats pretty young.
2007-10-29 15:56:53 · answer #8 · answered by Kirsty W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come on you only live once and should enjoy being young, with she is true friend and you talk to her about it then she should let you at least go on a date with this guy, I always said that it was wrong to date a man that your best mate had dated, however you could find true happiness and lets face it don't we all deserve to be happy at least once.
2007-10-29 15:55:11 · answer #9 · answered by hatfieldnomi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friendship is more important than a guy you're not even sure you like. Do what's right and just stay friends with him. There are too many other guys out there that are good matches for you that won't destroy a good friendship.
2007-10-29 15:57:41 · answer #10 · answered by julesl68 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋