This question is to everysingle parent out there whose child threw a fit in public!?

Question

How do you tame a temper while shopping? The kind where the kid throws themself on the middle of the floor in a flow blown fit while you are shopping? This happened with my 5 year old recently and I picked her up and walked out of the store, she screamed the whole time. I never spanked her or yelled just picked her up and left with nothing. It was all over the fact that we couldn't agree on what she should get, she wanted to spend more money than I had. So to every parent out there who has gone through with this what was the solution? Thanks for your help!

Answer 1

You did the right thing! I have a 5 year old, and if he throws a fit somewhere in public he gets one warning and then we pick up and leave. There have been a few occasions where I've had to leave a full cart of groceries with customer service with an apology, but it's all you can do. They have to realize that that kind of behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated.

Answer 2

You did the right thing. I have kids.. the first two were only 17 months apart. My oldest son was a horrible horrible child.. seriously. If he wanted something in the store and didn't get it, he threw a temper tantrum but not just a normal, throw yourself on the floor yelling and kicking temper tantrum. Not that child. He'd throw himself down the aisle and scream, "Why'd you'd hit me?" When he got tired of me leaving the cart and walking out of the store he screamed, "You're not my mommy! You're not my mommy!" Thank God one of the clerks was a friend of my mothers or I might have been arrested!
My solution was really easy. I flat out refused to take that child into a store, even for a gallon of milk. We'd do without if my husband was at work. He didn't step foot in a store with me for almost 4 years.
I always tried to leave immediately but he figured out how to embarass me even more.
My 2nd son was much easier. He'd start a fit and I'd put something back that I knew he loved (his favorite cereal, his ravioli.. etc) and if he didn't stop, another item went back. It only took one time of him losing everything before he stopped.
My 3rd child has been pretty good about it. I do the counting with him.. One... Two.. and I've never gotten to three. I've never told him what would happen once I reached three either..probably because I don't even know LOL.

Maybe putting her treats back would help.. if not, just remember.. at least she's not like my oldest boy was!

Answer 3

If we were grocery shopping I used to walk just out of sight round the corner of the aisle and watch through the shelves (this in a small local supermarket) because going home was often what she wanted to do. No attention = no screaming fit. You couldn't do that unless you were sure of their safety, of course.

In a shop where we were for fun or to buy something for her, yup, under the arm, legs out one end, head out the other, apologise to the counter staff for the noise on my way past in a cheery tone, and go home.

I'm guessing you're in the US? In the UK we have a wonderful advert where the kid picks something up from the shelf, mum says no, kid starts to make a fuss, and the mum throws herself on the floor and screams and kicks for thirty seconds, gets back up, looks at the kid, and he puts it back without a word. I've never had the nerve to do that, but if my kids sulk and stomp down the street I do it too. I can sulk MUCH better than they can.

Answer 4

My daughter did this when she was about 2. She wanted to throw a fit cause I would not get something for her. I let her go for about 2 minutes. Then i picked her up - gave a firm but not abusive, whack on the butt and finish doing what I needed to do. That was first and last time she did it. It embrassed her to get a spanking in public even at the age of 2. But I never had a problem again, if she would try to start I would just say " I will spank you right here in front of everyone." and it would stop. Even now at 13 she knows I will do it.

Answer 5

Personally I would not have responded at all. Just let her throw her little fit there in the store. I have 3 kids have done this twice. I just position myself so they don't get run over by a cart and wait it out.

If you give in EVER to this type of behavior it will continue. If it even works (they get what they want) even one in 20 times it will be worth it to the child to test you each time they want anything. Why do you think they called it "spoiled"?

Sadly children who get what they want by intimidating their parents go on to use this technique with others. You really owe it to your children not to give in to negative behaviors of any sort with a positive reinforcement.

Trust me, the other parents will understand exactly what is going one while your child pounds the ground. No one said anything nasty to me while I waited my childs tantrums out. Two of my children threw one tantrum each, and one lasted at least 10 minutes. I never heard another whine or complaint after that. No means no. The youngest is 6 and has yet to create a scene anywhere. Her sisters must have let her in on the secret, mom responds better to polite asking.

Answer 6

I've gotten right down on the floor with them and had one too. It took about 30 seconds for them to stop what they were doing to look and watch me and that was it.

Leaving the store empowers your child that you will reschedule what you are doing around their behavior. If you do that then the tantrums in public will just continue.

BTW, after that little episode, I haven't had a tantrum in public with any child. And very few at home cause they know I will do the same thing.

Answer 7

OMG my son would NOT do that! He's nine now and has never ever thrown himself down in a fit. He did have a screaming fit twice and we left. Didn't pay for the groceries, just left them. After two times of doing this he's the best behaved child. My son never begs for something, when we are out to eat the waitress comments on how she wishes all kids were like him.

I think this is something to be taught from the beginning. I don't allow it at home and I would not allow it in public. I don't care if it's in public or not. He would not do that. You don't have to agree with your child what to get. You are the parent. Put your foot down and say no. It's good you left but you have to do it EVERY time a fit is brewing.

Answer 8

I took my daughter home, placed her in the arms of her father, turned around and went back to the mall. After that one time she didn't get to go shopping or just "people watching" which was her favoirte thing to do as a toddler for a few months. Either her dad watched her, or I hired a sitter or I would trade of watching a neighbor's kids. About 5 months later she promised she WOULD behave so I took her with me and she was almost perfect. I don['t put up with fits and I don't negotiate or argue.

Answer 9

When my 5 year old son does this I try to ignore it....when I can. However, he can get extremely loud and obnoxious. When this happens I walk him straight to the bathroom and explain to him exactly what he will not get at the store and what priviledges he will lose at home if the fit does not stop now. That usually works well now. These days a simple threat to walk to the bathroom will usually curb the fit b/c he doesn't want to lose priviledges or that little toy he may get.

Answer 10

By walking out of the store because of the fit she was throwing, you gave your daughter a small victory. Now she will think that she runs the show and that the world revolves around her. When my son would have fits at that age, I would either say "I know where the bathroom is, don't make me take you to it" or I would say " Ok, see you later" and he would come running. I still have to do the see you later thing and it still works even though he is ten now.