I moved in with my boyfriend a while ago and I can't get over the fact that his ex girlfriend of 5 yrs lived in this same house, slept in this bed, used the same shower with him, etc! In fact, I can't get over the fact that he loved another women before me in general. I can't believe how irrational I sound right now... I don't make any sense and I know it's not fair to him but it's always on my mind! What does this mean? How can I stop it from bothering me? Is it a cover up for me being afraid on the inside that he will leave me too... or am I just being too territorial? HELP
2007-10-29 08:06:42 · 12 answers · asked by annette_1125 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it bothered the crap out of me as well. When i moved in with my ex it drove me bonkers because i knew this is where him and his ex wife lived, slept...did everything....I really dont think its out of the norm to want to know you and your boyfriend share something that is just "YOURS"
have you ever told him how you feel? maybe its time you two get something of your own not something that was shared with another.
2007-10-29 08:15:23 · answer #1 · answered by kakeydec 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK you need to move out of your boyfriend's house.
AND you need to move into some good therapy to get over your fears and issues with relationships.
I'd do this quickly. You mentioned being afraid he'll leave you too (indicative of more than one bad relationship/breakup in your life perhaps?) With your issues, you're quickly headed down the road to a self-fulfilling prophesy.
No, this doesn't mean you're a bad person, unworthy girlfriend or that your boyfriend is a crum. It just means that you're still healing from some earlier stuff - and you need new tools so you can put the baggage down and be the wonderful loving woman you really are.
2007-10-29 15:13:03 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my ex boyfriend's new girlfriend lives in our old house, sleeps in my old bed, uses my old shower etc.
When I think about it to this day (It has been like a year since she moved in) it still upsets me. I think it is because she living in my old house is proof that my ex's and I relationship is finally completely over.
If the bed bothers you, see if you can persaue your man into getting a new one. As for the house and the shower, just add your own personal touches to make it feel more like your home. And for the boyfriend, well you are with him now and living together, so you are his priority not his ex. Try not to let it get you too down and look forward to the future with your man.
2007-10-29 15:13:21 · answer #3 · answered by morbidlybeautiful 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he your first boyfriend? First love? If the answer is "yes" to either of these questions this one probably won't last a lifetime. If the answer is "no" to both questions then you have a lot of soul searching to do. What do(es) the prior relationship(s) in your life mean to you? Maybe more than you are aware of if you are feeling this way about him. One thing for sure, imputing motives or feelings onto another person amost always indicates the feelings are in your own self (for everyone, not just you).
2007-10-29 15:18:54 · answer #4 · answered by wuchiegirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well 2 me it sounds that u are jealous of his ex but try 2 think of it this way if she is his ex that obviously means that they were not meant 4 each other but hopefully u will be. also dont drive a wedge between u and his ex in other words dont act like a complete jerk to his ex because that can stifle ur relationship. ( if u and his ex ever become friends ask her about what turns the dude on u know use her as a source of info about the guy )
2007-10-29 15:17:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think nothing is wrong with you. I mean its like your getting the left overs. I understand you want to start something new but I think you should just give it some time. If he's the one for you then stick it out and everything will fall into place. Don't worry about him leaving you because it sounds like you two were ment
2007-10-29 15:13:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get over yourself. If you keep acting like that then he will leave you. Calm down and stop freaking out. Love you man for what he is, not who he has dated.
2007-10-29 15:10:49 · answer #7 · answered by jasmine.smith60 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you need to let it go.
Think about it this way, she may have been there in the past but you are the one sharing the space with him now!!
2007-10-29 15:11:40 · answer #8 · answered by tinyavenger 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about what he did in his past. He is with you now that is all that matters. Let it go or it will drive you crazy!
2007-10-29 15:10:54 · answer #9 · answered by *~*love always*~* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL IT MUST BE HARD TO THINK ABOUT ALL THE TIMES THEY WENT AT IT. BUT YOU ARE BEING CRAZY.
2007-10-29 15:11:03 · answer #10 · answered by Noah S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋