Christians, do you ever find yourselves biting your tongue out of respect?

Question

Living in an area where most people are Christian, I find myself keeping my mouth shut a lot of times when I'd much rather say exactly what I think. (I am the type of person that always says what I think, unless I think it is disrespectful or hurtful).

When it comes to my fiance and my future in-laws especially, I find that it is most often ME that has to bite my tongue about my beliefs, rather than THEM.

Why is it perfectly okay for them ramble on forever about God and the devil, yet they can't handle even one sentence about atheism from me?

Shelley, you know I'll kiss anything on that beautiful body. :o)

CL Richardson, that comment is exactly what I'm talking about. Closed-mindedness.

chieko, I'm not lying to anybody. They know how I feel. They just can't handle it.

Delylah, if only all Christians could be more accepting.

Searcher, you actually make a very good point. Thank you. I do not feel as though I would be making fun of what they believe but I can certainly understand how they might think so.

liddabet, believe me, this has occurred to me! I'm struggling with it...

Answer 1

ill speak the truth.

God expects it

God is real and you beleive .

i pray you get saved

Answer 2

Thankfully I married a Christian. Although my husbands family is Southern Baptist and my family is Pentecostal. Way different praise and worship styles we still share the same love of the Lord God. His brothers family on the other hand has not been in a church for about 2 years since the death of his 20 year old son. I bite my tongue all the time as a Christian because they are still harbouring worries that they did not do all that they could do to expose my nephew to the Lord Jesus Christ and they are struggling with the realisation that his soul might not be in Heaven. I can only pray for them and the only thing that I can say is that even though they do not know where their son was on his spiritual walk with the Lord Jesus Christ, no one will ever know his final moments, the final conversation he had with God. That brings comfort. The thing is they realised to late that they never made the decision of becoming a Christian a priority in there household exposing their children to the church and the teachings of Christ because they thought there would always be time. So yes in my family I bite my tongue a lot out of respect and love for my husbands brother. However I pray for them every night that they find peace and that they find Christ. For no amount of preachings will penetrate a heart that has not first been softened by the Lord God. My question for you do you intend to have children? And what spiritual path will they take? Not meant disrespectfully just curious this is sure to be a major stumbling block in the success of your marriage if it is already causing this much discontent.

Answer 3

I have a similar situation with my family. I just ignore them. They can chat about their God all they want. Who am I to interrupt? However, I don't think they know I don't follow their game. But I did grow up in the Catholic church, so perhaps I'm just numbed to it or so used to it it doesn't begin to bother me. I'd say something, but I have a feeling I'd get blank stares and a lot of blinks. Then their systems would reset and they'd go back to their God talk.

I just don't join their God conversations. In your situation I think I would make it abundantly clear that I'd prefer not to talk about religion. In my case, it's never anything mean or malicious, just their faith and how God helped them through. No "so and so is going to hell" or anything, so it's no big deal.

In the world in general, I just leave it alone unless someone is being a jerk-off. Most people do see it as some kind of insult if you have different beliefs, so I avoid the conflict and walk away. It is too bad that WE have to be the intelligent adults, but what can I say? People be stupid. It's hard, but we do have to play nice with the stupids.

Answer 4

If you are an atheist, and the only thing makes one an atheist is that you don't believe in any God...what exactly do you want to tell them about atheism? Unless you are going to question their beliefs...there are not a lot of topics for atheist to discuss about atheism. So unless you want to question their beliefs and/or make fun of them for believing so....what do you really have to say? If atheist have some great message they want to share with others, I have yet to see any of them post it here...all I ever see on here from atheist is 1)god doesn't exist. 2)believers are idiots. 3)atheist are the smartest people in the world.

So you aren't being "nice" by biting your tongue, you are just not being rude...big difference.

Answer 5

Im the opposite. I find myself around people who dont believe & I have 2 constantly bite my tongue because my beliefs our built on love and respect. I can see how that could be annoying and hurtful. Well b4 any REAL resentments form it might be time 2 get honest wih them. Remember, respect goes both ways

Answer 6

That really depends on the circumstances. If I'm a guest in someone else's home and somebody feels compelled to launch into a sermon, then I am respectful enough hold my tongue long enough to get to the door and leave.
But if somebody wants to disrespect me by preaching to me in my own home or in a neutral setting, then I feel no need to bite my tongue. I have no compunction against either telling them exactly why they're full of it or simply asking them to either hold their tongue or leave.
I won't disrespect someone in that way and I will absolutely not tolerate being disrespected.

Answer 7

I don't find myself biting my tongue with friends over religion at all--we generally respect one another and just don't discuss those topics--when we do it's light and not intense. I have to metaphorically bite my tongue on R&S sometimes. I sometimes write an answer and then erase it thinking...it's not worth the effort.

Answer 8

I don't usually feel the need to bite my tongue, but then again I'm not the type of person who feels the need to talk about religion constantly -- well, unless I'm here.

And I don't really feel the need for anyone to bite their tongue because of me. I just don't get all worked up about others' opinions, usually. Certainly not just because they differ from mine.

Answer 9

Do they know your an atheist? One reason is because they think they are right no matter what, and that is ashame for people to be like that and not open to other views. They do not feel that anything they say could be hurtful or disrespectful.

Answer 10

Perhaps if your beliefs were as strong and unshakable as you say they are, you could present your ideas and your proof and bring your future in laws to your way of thinking.Here's the problem:many folks say they don't believe in God and then argue and fight with those who do.If you don't believe in something, then why fight so hard against it?If it isn't there, then leave it alone!Id be interested to see your proof that God doesn't exist.

Answer 11

Feeling your pain. I'm an atheist, and in front of my in-laws, we aren't allowed to say evolution. We are asked to say adapt.

We also have to bow our heads to pray over meals. I think it's mostly respect. I also think for us that it's just easier than the discussions that follow any opposition on our parts.