I know its not appropriate but the fact is these kids are growing up fast. My son told a girl he thought she was "hot" and he liked her (apparently all the boys do).
My son has braces because of an overbite and glasses. My son said she responded by acting like she was going to vomit, flipped him off and said he was a dork because he has buck teeth and can't close his mouth. He was real hurt by this.
I told him he doesn't want friends with such a bad attitude. I try to tell him he won't always have braces and/or glasses.
2007-10-29 07:02:41 · 26 answers · asked by Wonder Woman 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Oh my gosh, so many good answers and advice WOW thank you all so much! I, myself get caught up in my emotions so I feel getting an outside opinion is more helpful for my son. Thanks again, I really appreciate it. I wish I could pick more than one for best answer. I'll have to put this one to voting because they're all good!
2007-10-29 07:21:07 · update #1
tell him that you are proud of him for not being too afraid to tell her the truth and to give it time. there will be MANY other girls to come.
2007-10-29 07:05:55 · answer #1 · answered by prnz16 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He might not always have braces and/or glasses, but he will always have jerks to deal with.
Always.
The thing is, when she treats him like a jerk, all the guys notice, and as a result, they don't like her as much. And when he reacts well to being abused by jerks, all the girls notice, and as a result, they like him more.
At the age of 11, that doesn't change behavior much. Kids that age are cowards, and they don't stray from the herd. Unfortunately, most people don't start acting like adults until their late 20s. That's a *long* time to wait to be treated decently.
You know he won this confrontation, and I know he won this confrontation, but it will be a long time before he believes either one of us. And you know, and I know, that he's ignoring some ugly duckling right now that will be turning into a swan. She's really hurt to be ignored, too.
But if he approaches someone like that right now, he's going to be heckled by his male friends.
Life in the second decade really sucks. And the next decade ain't so great, either - but it sure improves in your 30s, 40s and 50s! I don't know that there's anything you can tell him that can help. Just give him a hug.
2007-10-29 07:18:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, let me tell you this- I have crooked teeth and I'm like, the least popular girl in school. But, one of my really good friends sent me a letter at the end. Here's some of what she said-
"There is someone out there for everyone."
I hope your boy does not give up hope. He can do it. It just takes some time. Now, about that girl, she's not worth it. If she can't accept your son like he is, as strange as he may be, then she does not deserve the love your son has to give. Everybody deserves to have a happy, healthy relationship.
2007-10-29 07:10:33 · answer #3 · answered by tristy_anderson 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a boy who was in that sitation, I can assure you that nothing a parent says is going to make him feel better. He will get over it on his own and will move on to another girl. Don't dwell on it. If you feel you must do something, maybe a "makeover" of sorts would help - hair cut? New outfit or two? Anything to help him regain his confidence.
You're already helping by getting him braces, etc so when it actually matters (high school) he will be doing well for himself. I know he's only 11, but perhaps you can start looking into contacts, and that would help him out in general, and help him feel better. I got contacts around 12-13.
2007-10-29 07:10:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My son is 12, really cute kid, his friends give him a hard time because he is too shy to ask girls out that have already made it as clear as a billboard that they like him. Your son will have many more girlfriends than mine....your son is a brave dude. tell him to keep it up and remember thatattraction starts on the outside, but isn't real until you know the inside. This little "miss thang" may think she is beautiful, but what an ugly soul...
2007-10-29 08:34:18 · answer #5 · answered by rickb3825 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start from the top.
Tell him that it be not always the best impression ever to walk up to someone and say they're hot. Especially if you don't know the other person, that can make ANYONE look weird and creepy. It'd be better to start off by finding ways to get closer to the other person, and make petty small talk or comment beatiful aspects about them. But don't come on too strong or she'll be driven away and turned off. Then a conversation can be built on that about things in school and life, and eventually they'll both warm to each other that hanging out or going out can come easily and naturally.
Aesthetically, you can reassure the boy that his appearance is not everything that counts, also that he won't look like he is for the rest of his life. That no matter the appearance, there will always be someone out there who will like him for who he is. And there's plenty fish in the sea. Tell him beauty is skin deep, and what's most important comes from the heart. If you want to improve his appearance, suggest contacts, toiletry products, new fashion, and maybe a new hairstyle.
As for the girl, you can't blame her entirely. Remember what I said, about that anyone can look like a weird creep if they make a bad first impression? The girl probably had a spur-of-the-moment reaction that she responsed with irrationality and poor judgement because she was well...stunned, I suppose. Didn't know how to react (hence the flabergasted 'acting like she was going to vomit' look). And she probably gets alot of attention from the other guys too. Add to that she may be one of those 'testy' people or just stuck-up(they don't have to be a teenager). Alot of people don't like to be judged just as a prized trophy for their appearance. You can tell the boy that it's possible she acted out of poor impulse. Or alternatively, if you wish to dismiss and discredit her completely(or maybe contempt, whichever)-you can tell him that even though she has respectable beauty, she has nothing underneath and he deserves better than her. Nothing more than an iceberg. Beautiful, but icy and cold to the heart through and through. Better to find someone who can respect him.
Going back on my first assumption about the girl (that she wasn't thinking clearly at the moment), if she isn't actually stuck up but just reacted poorly or thought he was being no serious than a poor excuse at a pass as her, the boy may be able to make a second impression by making it up to her and apologize provided she apologize also. Saying to someone they're hot outright can be considered as rude for some people(and people admired for just their looks constantly can get especially annoyed), while others are flattered by it. Depends. There's really nothing to actually apologize for, and she's the one who should apologize. If she comes forward and apologize on her own, your son should have renewed faith in her.
Lastly, commend your son for courage. Be sure to also tell him that rejection is a natural part of life. Those who can't handle or face rejection, are eventually consumed by their lack of confidence that they can't readily find happiness for fear of rejection without a positive outlook.
2007-10-29 08:14:03 · answer #6 · answered by jm7 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes and your son will most likely be that prince too! he shouldnt want a girl like that i know it hurts when others degrade out kids ecpecially like this, but since it sounds like you two are close then let him know that just cause everyone else likes her doesnt mean he has too. show him your high school year book so he can see the different people and styles and how looks dont matter! let him know in a couple years when his braces are removed this girl is gonna want him and he better give her the finger ha ha im serious.
my son broke his front tooth playing b ball at school and his teeth are a little large hes been teased he had meningitis so he has hearing loss and untill he gets his hearing device he has to sit in front of the class. but my son is so handsome but these kids are so mean and it goes to show how that girls parents are!
2007-10-29 07:09:30 · answer #7 · answered by laylajai74 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is the point in liking her if she is going to be that evil to him? Just because she is 'hot' does not mean that she is nice underneath. Braces are good because they help your teeth look better afterwards, besides she will probably have them soon anyway, then he can take the mick out of her in revenge. People should look beyond looks to find their true love. Even if they are 11!
2007-10-29 07:09:50 · answer #8 · answered by James G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been in his shoes. Tell him that she obviously isn't as pretty inside as she is outside, and that she isn't worth his time, she demonstrated that pretty openly. Looks aren't everything, and in HER case, they amount to false advertising. Tell him that there's a girl that will like him for himself. Also, advise him that this is an example of how it feels to be treated that way, and ask him if he wants to treat others that way, as he was treated, or does he want to be the kind, brave one, that takes care of those that need a friend and stands up for those that get picked-on? I bet I already know the answer. That might give this whole unfortunate incident a positive spin and result.
2007-10-29 07:16:33 · answer #9 · answered by Stephen H 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To find the right person, you have to BE the right person. When you focus on becoming the best person you can be, the right one will find YOU. Don't focus on the loss part of it or the rejection part. There's nothing wrong with you and there's nothing wrong with the girl. When the right one comes along you'll be glad that this relationship? didn't work out.
2007-10-29 07:10:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi,im 12 and imma girl,in 6th grade,and lemme tell ya,this happens to evryone,evryone gets rejected! even me! and guess what? just TODAY,my friend caitlyn asked this guy out who is rely cute,and no offense to her but she's not exactly pretty,so naturally the guy rejected her but he gave her the middle finger and shoved her off,after that..i dont have a crush on him anymore,and neither does she,i garuntee theres gunna be another girl for him,he's on 11 after all,everyone has a match somehwere,remeber that! = D
2007-10-29 09:33:58 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋