change first name when adopted?

Question

Do you think it is right for adoptive parents to change the first names of children they adopt. I know someone who adopted a family of kids and they are changing the first names of each child it they want to...

Answer 1

I guess the question is, who is the adoption for? Is for the benefit of the child or for the adoptive parents?

The adoptive parents may not "like" the name, but it's not supposed to be about them. It's about the child. And if the child already has a name, then it belongs to them. Why should that be taken from them?

If adoption is really about the children, then as much of their identity needs to be left in tact as possible. It's not about making the parents happy, but providing for the children.

Answer 2

I disagree that adoption is "about the child". That's hogwash. Adoption is about the family. Since the child is part of the family, of course the child's interests are vitally important. However, what's in the best interest of the child is hard to determine. If you adopt an infant, and you're going to raise that child, you have every right to give him a name you cheerish. That baby is no longer his birth mother's in any way unless it is an open adoption. However, if you are going to have an open adoption, it would probably be best to leave the name the same - you don't want to create animosity from the beginning.

With an older child, I do not think it's right to change their name without their consent. However, if I understand the question being asked, the children are being given a choice about whether or not to change their own names. I think that is an excellent idea!

Many "older children" being adopted are comming out of foster care and bad situations. Taking a new name is a way of symbolizing that they're starting a new life. It's also a way for the new parents to bond with the child. No child should be forced into such a change, but if the child wants it - why not?

A "parent" who abandons or abuses their child loses all right to the child. Any adoptee from this type of situation who thinks they would have been "better off" with the "natural" parent is nuts - they just have a chip on their shoulder with life. A name is something very special because it helps define who someone is.... and who they are is a child of the parents who loved them.

Answer 3

Yes, I think that it is o-k for a parent to change the name of a child once they are adopted. It's very common in Florida. Adoptive parents do it all the time. They feel like it a new begining for the child and that that will have something that is a peice of the adopteive family.

Answer 4

I have not met an adoptive parent who hasn't changed their child's name. The only children whose names weren't changed were adopted straight from the surrogate mom. The other children were from other countries. The parents changed to a different form of the child's first name but kept their middle name the same. Mostly to make it easier for them to fit in and easier for teachers to get their name right. I know that sounds like shallow reasoning. I, personally, wouldn't change a child's first name, especially since -- if we end up adopting, it will be an older child.

Answer 5

depends on the age, if a baby sure if ya wont to, but older child like 1 or 2 id leave it, it might confuse the child. it you get baby from another country and you cant pronounce it, maybe, but keep the name somewhere, so one day if you do decide to tell the child about this, they would know. you can also take someletters out of the babys original name and make you a cute little name. they would still keep there name but in a different style,also if baby come out of a bad cituation, like abuse or something, yes i would change it for babys safety. but good luck

Answer 6

I was adopted as an infant and I really wish my name was not changed simply because it was my name, given to me at birth by my natural mother. It just seems wrong to me to change it. I hear a lot of excuses as to why adoptive parents change the name but to me they are just that, excuses for what the adoptive parents want. Of course the baby doesn't know any better at that time but just think how nice it would be to tell your child "we kept the name your mother gave you because it fit you, because we honor her decision, because we were lucky enough to raise you and didn't feel we had to change everything" instead of "we didn't like what she named you so we picked something new."

Answer 7

If the children are older, then I think they should definetly have a say in whether they change their name or not, and if so, what it's changed to.
We adopted both of our sons at 6 months old from Korea. After talking to several adult adoptees from Korea we decided to give them "American sounding" first names, and kept their Korean first and middle names as their new middle name. I think it's a good idea to allow children to keep at least some part of the child's original name if possible, unless ofcourse they are older and choose to completly change it.
We will also have no problem if our children choose to go by their middle (original) names when they are older.

Answer 8

Your opinion is your own. To ask whether it's "right" to change a child's name is unfair. Each family does what they think is best.
We changed our son's name when we brought him home with us. He was 2 and had been in foster care his entire life. He was called baby names (like pet names) by his foster family and didn't really know his given name. It was a silly name -- made up by the birth mother -- and it sounded girly. We weren't fond of it so we dropped some letters from it and changed it to a name we liked. My son is now 6 and I have told him about his birth name and he says he's glad we changed it. I know he's young, but right now that's his opinion and I'm glad!
Before our son was placed with us, we were selected to adopt a little girl who was 5 at the time. She had a "different" name but it was a real word/name and we ended up liking it. We initially thought about changing it because it was a little odd, but then decided that wasn't right because it was a pretty name, just not our usual taste. As it turned out, a distant birth family member surfaced and agreed to take the little girl, so we weren't able to adopt her.
Anyway, my point is that it is the individual family's decision and there is no "right" or "wrong" when it comes to naming. It's just an opinion.

Answer 9

we have 5 children 1 I gave birth to and the other 4 are adopted. We adopted 1 child out of foster care, 1 as an infant and 2 internationally. We took our 2 internationally adopted daughter and and moved their first names to their middle names and gave them new first names. We kept my son's name (infant adopted) to honor his mother and gave him a new middle name, and the son that we adopted out of foster care was given the choice as to what he wanted to to. At first we wanted to change his entire name, but we came to an agreement and he kept the name his mother gave him as his middle name and he decided to adopt his new daddy's name as his first name. I think it all really depends on what is in the best interest of the child.

Answer 10

If a child already has a name why would you change it

My mother named me and my adoptive parents kept that name - I am so happy they did.