My mom always humiliates me infront of people. I feel very hurt as I am 30 years old. She treats me like a child. I do not want to be rude to her, but sometimes, she makes my blood boil, that I shout back at her unintentionally. I hate myself when I do that. I have sinned towards her, my mother, by shouting back. I dont like to do sin, but I dont know what to do as she is always nagging, complaining and grumbling over tiny issues. Any advises?
2007-10-29 05:47:45 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I dont have any friends, so I am always with her, I know she wants me to go heaven but it is such a strict way.
2007-10-29 05:53:38 · update #1
I am a Muslim, I know she love me, but I think it is too much of control.
2007-10-29 05:56:30 · update #2
I dont think I behave badly, I dont think I have any terrible bad habits too. I dont lie, I dont have free sex or mix with the opposite sex freely, I like to save money. I always listen to my mom.
2007-10-29 08:27:50 · update #3
many parents do this. my mom sumtimes does the same thing to me.
sorry for your hardships
2007-10-29 14:44:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you are 30 yrs old. If you do not live with her then explain it to her like this.
"I will not hang out with you in public anymore until you can learn how to speak to me without acting as though I am 9. We are both adults and if you can only find fault with me and my choices as well as my actions and feel that you did not do a good job to educate me or raise me on how I present myself then the berating is a reflection of you more so than me. Until you can learn how to respect me as I respect you then we do not need to be around each other except at home."
The part I like the best is "if you feel that you did not do a good job...." which you need to emphasis. Then start going places where there are not a lot of people about once a week and if she does it again then the next week refuse to hang around her that day then try it again the following week. After you hit a certain age it is when you have to teach parents to not be parents and to learn to be your friend and love you for who you are unconditionally and not as you "child" because you are no longer one.
Good luck with your mom. Respect begets respect.
2007-10-29 13:02:25 · answer #2 · answered by Karma of the Poodle 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The Bible says to honor your mother and father, but it in no way says to be abused by them, especially if you are an adult. As an adult, it is not mandatory that you spend time with your mother, and maybe you should politely inform her of this fact. Tell her that if she does not appreciate the time you spend together as mother and daughter, maybe you should end it. I have a similar situation, as my mother is elderly, ill and very dependent on me and my sisters. Instead of her being grateful for the grocery shopping, errand running, visiting, taking her to the doctor, etc. she constantly complains and insinuates that we don't care about her and don't do enough. I think it's all part of the aging process. But don't let it get you down; you love and respect your parents, but you have to love and take care of yourself too. Good luck!
2007-10-29 12:58:44 · answer #3 · answered by beattyb 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and have an intelligent conversation with your mother about how her actions make you feel and how you are no longer a child. You should explain that her actions are hurtful and wrong. You don't need a mommy anymore. She needs to let you do your own thing. Discussing this with her will solve a lot of your problems.
2007-10-29 12:57:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
The Word of God is complete and need no adding to and taking from. In Ephesians 6:1-4
Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right
Honor thy mother and father; which is the first commandment with promise
That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth
And you parents, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the admonition and nurture of the Lord.
2007-10-29 13:09:22 · answer #5 · answered by Dee D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Avoid to be near your Mom when in public.She must have suffering from some sort of complex She may be thinking of protecting you - to her you are still a child.
Best way will be to keep a smiling face as if nothing has happened. If you practice meditation,then meditate and pray for her well being.
2007-10-29 13:09:32 · answer #6 · answered by TARBA 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
1. Behave in a way she approves of, so she won't have anything to criticize you for,
or
2. Stop hanging out with your Mom. Find some friends who don't yell & make you yell back.
2007-10-29 13:38:19 · answer #7 · answered by ♥≈Safi≈♥ ☼of the Atheati☼ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stop spending time with her in public...and tell her why you made that decision. Tell her what you told us...that when she humiliates you in public that you end up doing something that you don't like doing and that you can't think of any other way to stop doing things that make you feel sad and guilty.
It isn't easy to draw the line with our parents...I'm in my 40s and my dad still treats me like a child sometimes. The worst problem we had related to my brother. My brother kept getting into trouble and my dad kept pressuring me to bail him out of that trouble...my brother stole from me (repeatedly) and my dad defended him. I finally had to tell my father that my brother was no longer welcome in my home and that I couldn't continue letting my brother influence my young son and that I couldn't be involved in the drama any more. I had to tell him that if he (my father) kept pressuring me to change my mind, that I would move somewhere and he would lose contact with me and with his grandson. While my dad still doesn't understand why I won't visit him while my brother is living with him, he has stopped pressuring me and when he visits me, our relationship is much more peaceful than it was in the past.
2007-10-29 13:05:14 · answer #8 · answered by KAL 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well of course. My mom and I used to be like that. Not so much in public though.
Look we do what we are taught, directly or indirectly. She's copying someone and you are being like her.
Well Scriptures would help but neither of you know Him. You need to talk to her in person and explain to her that, you want mutual respect. But if she wants a good relationship with you she needs to respect you.
You both need Jesus. Pick up a bible and read it together.
Too much to say.
2007-10-29 13:04:30 · answer #9 · answered by K in Him 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is only one person that you can change. However, you can change your own behavior and your reaction to her behavior.
Other suggestions:
Listen to her complaints. Take her advice on one or two issues. See what happens.
Spend less time with your mother. Enforce time limits. Be very polite to her. Do not criticize her to others or in your own mind. Honor her for giving you life.
Get counseling.
2007-10-29 12:51:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
If you're 30 years old, around your mom all the time, and still putting up with her parental discipline....it's time to grow up and live life on your own.
2007-10-29 12:56:26 · answer #11 · answered by nobody important 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋