Disrespect?

Question

My fiance and I stay together. Im good friends with her cousin. He and I had a disagreement about 3 wks ago. We hadnt spoken to each other since. Last week I called him and left a vmail to give me a call so we can squash our diffrences. He didnt call me back so I figgured he was still upset about the situation. (No big deal) I just figgured He will come around to talk when he is ready. We both said some pretty disrespectful things to each other and almost fought. However, Last nite he shows up at my house while I was out. Still hadnt returned my call or anything to smooth out our problem. Im not mad at the situation anymore, but I was upset that he said what he said and then set foot in my house without speaking to me 1st. to me I would never have a beef with a man and walk in his house with out smoothing that problem over 1st. Out of respect for his home. I wouldnt care if he was dating my sister. He is the man of his home, Its a priciple thing to me. Am I wrong for thinking like that

He didnt call me like. Im comming over to your house to talk to you. And Thats my Fiance people. My beef is mine. That had nothing to do with her. They talk all the time.

Answer 1

Ok - you didn't say whether he came over with the intent of squashing this face to face -or did he just come over to see your fiance? . . . if he did just come to see her, yeah I would say it's disrespectful especially if you were going it at it like that - I would have followed up on your call so we could talk before I came walking in your place like "F*** you, I'm just gonna walk up in your crib regardless of whether we've made up. ." . .yeah it was disrespectful. He does have a right to see his cousin (your fiance) BUT the thing is you are going to be her husband these are the "prepatory" stages, and she has to support you, you will be the man of the house. And honestly, if I were in this situation I would have asked my cousin if he called you back to discuss this before he just came over, which is the option I'd feel more comfortable with - because him just sitting up in the crib with this bad blood going on may start another argument. . IT'S CALLED DAMAGE CONTROL.

Answer 2

I can definitely see where you are coming from. On the other hand, perhaps he wasn't raised the same way. I see frequently in men these days that they get angry, don't talk for a while, never talk about the issues and then just one day start talking and act like everything is okay.
When things are cool between you, I would mention how you like to deal with issues like this and how you would like to deal with it in the future.
Be the bigger man too and apologize for anything you said that was out of line whether he is mature enough to or not.

Answer 3

You really need to forgive him and put the disagreement behind you. Often, when people are upset they say things they don't really mean. By taking the first step yourself to open up communications will go a long way in giving him a good example to follow.

Answer 4

Sounds like you are still mad at him and not so open to patching things up as you are trying to make yourself believe. This is a petty thing, and you are blowing it out of proportion.

Be a man, meet him for coffee and talk it out. Life is too short for this.

Answer 5

Yes, because your girlfriend is the "woman" of the home and his sister to boot. He has every right to be there. She is family to him and for that reason will be more important to him then worrying about disrespecting you.

Answer 6

Is it your belief that if he's not talking to you that your fiance shouldnt talk to him either? It's your arguement not hers. How does she feel about it?

Answer 7

NOPE! You are right. He's acting childish.

Answer 8

Not at all.