i told my bf i didnt want to have sex anymore before marriage... either he marries me or we dont get physical.. i was sweet and polite abt it and told him the religion point of view too.. he thought i had changed very suddenly and am sure he is upset with me not coz i stopped this but coz it hurt his ego in some way.. now i am wondering.. why wud he take that so personally when i did it for God and he knows that?
2007-10-29 04:23:51 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
because boys are rules by their peckers! period.
2007-10-29 04:26:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
Well, here's the deal, If you are doing it to get him to marry you, then you are wrong for that. If you've been with him for a while and he's not popped the question or even talking about it then maybe you shouldn't be with him at all. But if you are doing it out of your love and respect and honor for God then thats different. The thing is you can't have a sexual relationship with a guy for years and then all of a sudden decide against it and expect him to agree. Unless you both see the error in having premarital sex and both want to do the right thing. Men don't take this well for whatever reasons. If this is what you want to do then do it, but be prepared for the backlash from ur bf. Good Luck!
2007-10-29 04:35:44 · answer #2 · answered by goodgirlabout2gobad 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You damaged his ego. He didn't hear, "I want to be clean in the eyes of god from now on." He stopped hearing you as soon as "I don't want to have sex anymore" left your lips. If he's not highly religious and he doesn't share your view on saving yourself for marriage then it's no wonder he is hurt by this.
Especially if you were having sex with him until this point with no problems. It would have been a very abrupt change for him. You can think you were as sweet as possible, but as I said, he stopped listening once you said you didn't want sex anymore.
If he loves you, he'll work through it though. Just cuddle him a lot(if you're still doing that anyway) and give him massages. Make him know that you still love him and are attracted to him.
2007-10-29 04:29:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you feel that you do not wish to have sex before marriage then your bf should understand if he us a good 'un. By reading the first line 'i didnt want to have sex anymore' does this mean that you have had sex with him already but now you wish to stop? if this is the case your bf probably thinks that he was doing something wrong or you were not enjoying it,in wish case you do need to reassure him that its for religious reasons and not from something he was doing wrong.
2007-10-29 04:34:25 · answer #4 · answered by log4i 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
thats why my mom always says "you are supposed to wait for marriage to have sex"
See your boyfriend is used to having sex with you and now it does seem like you are punishing him by not having sex because he wont marry you.
Why are you using God as an excuse to abstain from sex now?
But bottom line is this ..You dont give ultimatums to anyone...especially someone you want to marry...you dont want to marry someone who felt pressured or manipulated unless you dont mind a fake marriage ....
When your boyfriends is ready to propose he will....if you feel like you are being used and he only wants you for sex than you have to find someone that will love you not just the sex.... That means holding off on sex.
2007-10-29 04:52:54 · answer #5 · answered by kakeydec 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what reason you chose it is still him that is not getting any. That is a blow to the ego for him. Plus if you were public about it now his friends know that he isnt getting any despite what he says. Unless he intends to follow you into celibacy, expect cheating to follow. Be prepared for your social life to take a dive since people your age think sex is an important part of any relationship and without it they intend to move on whether they tell you that or not
2007-10-29 04:28:30 · answer #6 · answered by dave n 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, you cut him off now so he's probably thinking what would stop you from cutting him off for some other reason after you're married. The decision you made is not one to make by yourself. You needed his input into a very sensitive and personal matter for both of you.
2007-10-29 04:28:00 · answer #7 · answered by Somethingtotry 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think if he took it personal than that tells you who he is worried about him self that to me proves he is selfish and he is most likely to begin manipulating you to think you are crazy or weird you need to pray for strength and stick to what you said so not to appear wish washy . It will be hard i think you did the right thing i think more woman should do this my self included and we wouldn't get in so much trouble all the time and beautiful children would have fathers because they deserve them. congratulations and i commend you and will pray for you.
2007-10-29 06:11:28 · answer #8 · answered by angeleyes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are simple creatures and can only do one thing at a time. On top of this you actually asked him to think and make a committment? Once you have polished the pickle you can lead him by the nose to the gates of hell; you are the boss.
2007-10-29 04:28:06 · answer #9 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it's good to not have sex before marriage, that is the way it should be, but you are not being consistant. Your saying something is wrong, when you've allready done it. In his mind it could be that he is mad because he may not believe your doing it for god, he might just think that is a convient excuse to try to get rid of him
2007-10-29 04:28:18 · answer #10 · answered by squishy 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Because, dear, men tend to feel, especially at a certain age, that their penis is the most important part of them, so when you say you won't have sex with him you reject what is the most important part of him. He'll either get over it or he's too immature.
2007-10-29 04:36:17 · answer #11 · answered by mommanuke 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋