intimate relationship. We are not physical in any way yet our conversations have on many occassions led us down a path that would be considered an emotional affair by some. I know that we both carry feelings for each other that would be considered more than just friendly. Where things start to get complicated is that he set me up with a friend of his a few years ago who I have been seeing very infrequently for about 2 years. Neither of us were really looking for anything serious but I started to develop stronger feelings for him and said that we couldn't be physical unless we were dating. He emailed me this weekend to invite me to attend a banquet with him this coming weekend. I have been waiting for 2 years for an email along these lines. The trouble is now that this banquet is also for my best friend. He will be there and he gets so jealous when I am with another man - even though he shouldn't. I don't know whether to risk upsetting him by going or should I skip this banquet?
2007-10-29 04:16:05 · 13 answers · asked by ALT 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He has no right to be jealous, he's married, and he set you up with this guy in the first place. Go!! If he gets jealous, explain, hey, you and I are friends, you have a wife to go home to every night, what do I have? Explain that he'll always be a part of your life, but that you can't live life being his "other woman" emotionally.
2007-10-29 04:20:30 · answer #1 · answered by ~Jenn~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think this would be considered an emotional affair by "some" people but by all people. I know you probably don't want to hear this but its true.
I guess what I'm getting at here is that you are not taking care of yourself. You're doing everything but sleeping with a married man. He is providing you the emotional support that causes you to not need to actively seek it from a healthier relationship. You actually feel guilt and doubt about pursueing an opportunity with another man because on some level you and your "lover" see it as "cheating".
You need to pursue your happiness. This can only happen when you allow yourself the opportunity be in a complete relationship. If your "best friend" has a problem with this then, no matter how much you may like him, you have to seriously question whether he has your best interest at heart.
2007-10-29 12:54:20 · answer #2 · answered by brimir7 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, say you skip the banquet with this guy. What then? Are you going to turn down everyone who asks you out when the possibility they're going to have to interact with this friend arises? Or are you going to try and construct two separate lives, knowing full well that's going to create jealousy and suspicion?
I'm not saying your prospective date is your only shot at true love - in fact, if you've been waiting two years(!) for him to show definite interest, he's probably not - but you deserve romantic fulfillment and emotional commitment from somebody who's 100% free to give it. Your married friend is not that somebody. If he doesn't understand that well enough to let you look for it, he's not your friend, either - and even if he is, you might want to examine why you're so reluctant to look for someone who's free and eager to be a boyfriend that you'd let both these nonstarter relationships drag on for so long.
2007-10-29 11:30:26 · answer #3 · answered by MM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that people get involved with married men and women for various reasons. You should set boundaries on what you will and won't do concerning this type of relationship. Now you have to worry about what a married man thinks of you being in the same place with another man, which you have a perfect right to do. Didn't the married man set you up with the other guy? You need to be strong and leave the married man alone. he has made a committment to another woman in marriage. Don't help him break this committment. You should be free to be with other men without him being jealous. Walk away from your situation with him and find a man whom you can love freely. We all need a caring soul to make us feel good, but we have to be careful where we get that care from. Do the right thing and stay away from the married man.
2007-10-29 11:27:07 · answer #4 · answered by The pink panther 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the banquet. You've been waiting for 2 years for an email like this you said. Go and have fun!
2007-10-29 11:21:05 · answer #5 · answered by shy girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to do something for you stop thinking about him why is her going to get mad poitn otu that he is married and you are not going to break up that marriage that if he lieks you then to leave his wife and stop cheating on her because even though isit verbal it is still cheating. Listen go to the banquet. Who cares if he gets jelous he is married you are not you can see anyone you want to see at this is the opportunity to do so so don't let itr go you might regret it. Plus you are not going to go anywhere with this other guy becuase he is married.
2007-10-29 11:22:50 · answer #6 · answered by Lost 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
May sound like a silly quetion, but, do u like the married guy more then just a friend? ask yourself honestly. i know sometimes we have to spare a friends feelings if they feel about things a certain way but, if he really is a freind then he needs to be happy for u. also u need to be honest and may as well let him know how u feel about your date.
or maybe you are making excuses, because u are just nervous and its been a long time coming.
Best of luck - i hope u do go.
2007-10-29 11:32:26 · answer #7 · answered by sweetness 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't care if you go to the banquet or not, but you and this married guy need to stop sniffing around. Just leave him the hell alone.
2007-10-29 11:21:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you hearing yourself?He's married but doesn't like to see you with other guy's? Let's make him be fair about things here.Be fair to yourself first.You should go flaunt it and have a great time at the banquet.You need to have more respect for yourself than it seems that you do.Anyone who is jealous,is a miserable person.Doesn't that fit his lifestyle?Go,have a great time and like I said flaunt your happiness in front of him.Maybe that will force a **** or get off the pot for him.Good Luck sweetie........And please have fun....
2007-10-29 11:34:30 · answer #9 · answered by sandy v 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont do anything with him until his divorce comes through. Women make this mistake all the time. First off, you shouldnt be leading him on, but if he does want out of his marriage, you have to make him actually leave. Dont just start banging him when he says he left. Make sure his wife knows hes left. And 90% of the time if the papers havent gone through, they go back to their wives.
2007-10-29 11:22:10 · answer #10 · answered by billgoats79 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋