is there help for my son?

Question

my son will be 11 in december he is very violant towards women he refuses any and all authority he is adhd combined type and bipolar he is in therapy and on meds nothing seems to help i have tried spanking,grounding,taking everything away from him i have tried the reward system i have tried talking i do not know what else to do i thought about military school but it is very far away and costs alot of money also it is for teenagers mental hospitals do not seem to help tried those already i would welcome any and all soultions thank you

Answer 1

Wow.
I wold take your kid off the drugs first thing. These drugs are mind altering, mood altering drugs.
Seams as if he has a women complex as well?
We have many of the same medical conditions in this family. It is not a easy thing! Before your child gets put into jail some big time intervention is needed, and you are asking for help.
Sometimes we need to not only ask, but demand help for our kids. Almost to the point of begging.
These agencies It sound like you have already been too? After my oldest was put in jail (ADHD and other health problems) and I kept screaming at the top of my lungs to everyone who would listen I finally got help for my other kids.

Finally our community found out that I am not the only one out here who needs help with kids who have problems. It is hard and sometimes we want to give up, but as you know we can not give up on our kids.

Spanking, grounding, taking away things do not work on our children as you found out. Fact of it is there are not many out here in the real world who can even grasp at what we have been through. I am not a quiet person and I see things are changing for my other kids in our small community.

All I can tell you is do not give up, keep jumping through programs after programs. Be open with all doctors what is working what is not. Change what your kid is eating, what he is exposed to (to the best of your ability). Learn to pick your fights with your kid and his schools and doctors. This is to save your own sanity (which by the way mine is questionable by people every day).
Every small step you and your child take is a huge step! Your child like mine, I bet is frustrated, confused more then we can ever imagine.
We thought about military school, but why ruin the kids life? I read somewhere that kids with ADHD and other medical problems and on drugs are not allowed in the military anyways? We can not set up our kids to fail.
Good luck and there are other parents out here who have been there done it. Sorry this is so long, and there is much more I can say. Email if you would like.

Answer 2

send him away. He needs a very strong influence to do what is right. If he truly is bipolar, the meds will help. He's too old to be acting out this way except if he just likes rebellion. I'm sure there is a military academy in your area. Trust me, he will change. Try talking to him seriously about sending him away, perhaps the thought alone with whip him into shape. Is there a strong father figure in his life? Maybe he just needs a man to influence him. You probably let him walk all over top of you. Don't do that.

Answer 3

His meds need to be looked into. Sounds like his meds might have alot to do with his anger issues. Where's his father? or male role model? How about a sport to get some of his excess engery out? Tell you what I have a great website for you to see. If you want to join you can, it's free and you'll see you are not alone. It's not uncommon for adhd to go hand in hand with other disorders. Look here:
http://www.adhdnews.com/
if nothing else just look around the message boards. You'll see LOTS of ideas and help for you and your son.
G'luck

Answer 4

It's tough now a day to deal with kids and teenager.
"Communication is the key" and "Action speak louder than word"
You have to try both speak to him and do something about it. Try to find out what is bothering him and why he is violant towards women (Something must have tigger him to feel that way toward women). If he won't open up to you, then there got to be someone who he trust and open up to (friend, teacher or men).
Try to paid attention to his every action and mood, try to care for him like a friend and not a mother. Try to be in his shoe or see his point of view. Or make him understand that you are really concern with him and are willing to help him through it. Let him know you are there for him. Sometimes kids act like that because they want your attention and care.
There is always a solution to a cause.
Good Luck!!!!

Answer 5

I wouldnt send him away, He is probably missing a good man to look up to. And if you send him away then he will feel really unloved and become even more violent. just find different ways for him to vent, get him some hobbys like art, or music, those will keep him occupied and give him a sense of hope. and then take him to a counselor but dont expect results right away because when my mom took me to a counselor it took a while for me to get to trust her. so try some of these.

hope i helped : )

Answer 6

Awww, I feel for you.
You need to find a new Dr.
You know, a lot of Dr.s now a days just give meds and not get the root of the problem.
Have you sat with him and talk with him?
It's hard, I know, my son has ADHD, but with many trials on meds, we finally found one that works.
Just don't give up on him.
Keep looking in your area for new help.

Answer 7

You sound exactly like my mom, who I still hate to this day. I told her over and over again that I just wanted love and acceptance but she was convinced that I needed "help". Everyone in any career field is going to take a stab at what they think is wrong with your son and as these diagnosis' keep building up you will believe them all. As you make your own child believe that he is screwed up, because you are too lazy to get to know him, he will begin to believe it too. He will eventually become a drug addict and possibly a criminal as he falls into the crowd of other people that are "screw-ups" too. Congrats on over-diagnosing and over-medicating another child. Or maybe you can just show him love and get to know him and spend time with him instead of "fixing" him. Your call....

Answer 8

Serious question here. Is dad at home? A lot of boys without the father in the home act like this and disregard women because they don't seem important to them.

Answer 9

Do you have a cop friend? You could go to the police department..and have him locked up for an hour and tell him that is where he is going to end up if he keeps on the path he is on.
Seems like you've tried everything else..Good Luck..

Answer 10

Sounds like he needs a father or at least a male role model. I'd be willing to bet he doesn't have a father in his life huh?