Divorce VS. Children..... What 's your opinion?

Question

Please give me your opinion, this is for a College research... out of 30 topics I believe this one is the most interesting one. Any ideas for a visual project about this topic? WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS ISSUE? In my opinion divorce affect children more than affects the [parents. How you compromise the pain that divorce causes on a kid? What are the biggest mistakes that parents do? Spoiled them to much after a separation? Or... just "my mom lets me and you don’t" the biggest issue?

If you ever read any book about this... could you give me the name and author?

Answer 1

I believe how a divorce will affect the children depends largely on how the parents handle it. If they fight a lot and one parent tries to turn the kids against the other parent, things will be harder for the kids. If the parents are smart enough to be concerned for the children, they won't let the kids see the arguing, and will handle things calmly. The biggest mistake parents make is talking about the other parent in a negative way to or in front of the children. Both parents should share responsibilities concerning the children after the divorce, although I know that rarely happens.

Answer 2

I think that divorce affects everyone in the family to a similar degree. That is because roles are changing and everyone has to adapt to new ones within the family unit. I think that sometimes parents have a hard time laying out new ground rules and that makes the children unable to establish their own roles and responsibilities within the unit. It makes it hard too, because then there are two separate units, with different expectations in each one. The children have to adapt to an entirely different set-up each time they switch back and forth. It can give kids a sense of being lost, drifting, and if there are few or conflicting rules going on, they have the potential to get into trouble. Sure, there are parents who try to make up for the separation with spoiling. And that is just detrimental because then the children can feel as though their love is bought (and that can have problems in future relationships). Even worse, when parents are not explicit about the child not causing the divorce and the kid can think it is their fault. This can come from not talking about the divorce and letting kids come to their own conclusions. The biggest mistake that parents make is not setting up a new role-responsibility system and not talking to their kids about the feelings, reactions, and responses they have to the divorce. If they never ask, the kids never tell and poor coping skills can evolve rather quickly.

Answer 3

First thing the parents need to think of their children. Do not down grade the other parent while in the present of the child. Children over hear a lot and some parents don’t realize it. Divorced parents need to come together as friends I believe. This will show the children that even thou they are divorced they can still get along. I believe when the child acts up then have both parents involved. This will show the children that either parent will not tolerate bad behavior. Divorced parents need to work together for the sake of the children

Answer 4

My parents divorced when I was 9 and I was actually really glad that they did divorce. I was so tired of hearing the constant arguing and dealing with the tension inthe house. My parents didnt really spoil us before or after the divorce, everything remained the same, just splitting time with mom and dad. We never did the whole "well mom lets me do this at her house" type of stuff. Now a days parents are taking the divorce thing way out of proportion. They are getting lazy and dont want to deal with true marriage. They think they have one fight they dont want to deal with, and thats the end of it. People are going into marriages thinking "oh well if it doesnt work out, we can always divorce." Then once they get to courts about custody thats where the battle starts. One parent doesnt want to child support, the other doesnt want to lose the kids, sometimes I think divorce is sometimes more of a "what can I get out of my ex." People are dragging the kids in divorces more than they should and it's really sad kids are having to deal with things like that. It can cause a huge emotional strain on them. When it comes to divorce, the parents are just being selfish and are not looking into thie childrens benefits at all, so there is really nothing to compromise when both parties are being selfish

Answer 5

Divorce does not have to negatively affect children at all, if the parents continue to parent together & don't let their adult romantic issues affect their parenting negatively.

If both parents treat the divorce as a *positive* in their lives ("Well, this romantic relationship isn't working for either of us, so why don't we politely & civilly wish each other well & free each other up to try to find a romantic relationship that works"), then the kids can actually flourish after divorce.

Answer 6

I think that a lot of the time when the parents get a divorce, the kids do get really spoiled. Mostly because they want them to feel secure and this and that. In reality, i wouldn't spoil my kid anymore than i already do lol Some divorces do effect the children but you need to stand your ground and still discipline, I don't believe in divorce. but the big issue would be I love you and your dad loves you, this is our problem not yours.

Answer 7

I agree divorce is hardest on the children.

Parents need to NOT put the children in between them. They should never bad mouth each other to the children. They should use the children to hurt each other. They should work together where it comes to the children... each knowing what the rules are and sticking to them... The Chidlren should ALWAYS come first.

One smart couple with joint custody decided that they would not make their children go back and forth between the two of them. So She would spend two weeks with the kids in the family home, then he would spend two weeks with the children in the family home. Thereby never interrupting the children's daily schedule.

Answer 8

I think some parents do spoil their kids more after a divorce or during separation and 9 X outa 10, it's because they want to show the kid who loves them more. the more I buy you is how much more I love you than your father and vice - versa and it becomes a war with the parents because they are trying to compete with eachother for the child's love.

Answer 9

parents who divorce need to put the children number one, love your child more then you hate the spouse, my son Michael's dad and i are proud of are divorce, we both love mike enough to make it work , we put him before anything and now years later we are very close friends, but my now husband and his ex have made a big mess which i do not know if there girls will ever recover it is the saddest thing i have ever seen it has made me talk to me son and ask his feelings he said thank you to me and his dad for not doing the things he is witnessing , mike has a great relationship with both his dad and i , the way it should be, it is not divorce that hurts a child it is the parents who do not handle it well and use there children to fight there battle, it is a very selfish thing to do, i am a child from a divorce, my parents came to gether to be parents and grandparents i am very thankful that there love outweighed there anger

Answer 10

the biggest mistake my biological mother made was to keep me from my father and talk about him like he was dirt, it just made me think less of her.

if you separate or divorce i don't care how you feel towards each other, get along and act adult. a child is not a therapist or counceler(sic), if you need help with your issues after see someone certified, don't mess up your kids heads.