Is is proper to pay for another couples meal if I invite them to celebrate my wifes birthday with us?

Question

The meal for each couple will be approx $85.

Answer 1

If you invite them, be prepared to pay for them.

Answer 2

Yes, it is entirely proper, in fact at one time it would be expected that if you issued such an invitation you were intending to pay for them.

Today, these rules and expectations have been relaxed somewhat, especially as restaurant dining has increased in standard and price, but it is still a very nice gesture and will ensure the evening does not have any 'hiccups' around the bill.

If your friends offer to pay a share, you could also say 'Please, this is my treat for (my wife's) birthday ~ we'll look forward to being your guests another time.

I hope you have a lovely evening and your wife has a great birthday :-)

Answer 3

You should definitely pay, even if you can't afford the $85. A billionaire and his wife once invited me to a splendid restaurant where the check - including drinks - came to almost 500-bucks. As an independent feminist - at the time - I made a stupid offer to pay - which was accepted, dammit - and I got stuck with the check!

Answer 4

Absolutely. If you issue the invitation, you pick up the check. They may offer to pay and if so the polite thing to do is to refuse.

It's different when it's just a group of friends going out for no reason, but this can be compared to a birthday party you are throwing for your wife.

Answer 5

They money is not the issue. If you invite another couple to a birthday party then it is eiquette for you to pay no matter what the price is. If you were just double dating then each couple should pay their own way.

Answer 6

The proper thing is to pay for their meal. If you invite others to should try to find something in a better price range.

Answer 7

Any invitation is seen as exactly that, an invitation.

You should ALWAYS attempt to pay if you invited someone to your social engagement, but if they insist on paying, then at least offer to split the bill saying "well, we invited you, so weI assumed we would be paying...so let me at least split the tab with you".

If they insist upon paying themselves anyway, then let them.

Some people just refuse to be indebted to anyone.

It's not worth an akward situation in the long run if you insist upon paying if it goes against your friends' beliefs.

Answer 8

I feel that the person who makes the invitation should be willing to pay. It's possible for you to discuss and plan this with the other couple, but any such discussion should be done before you get to the restaurant, ideally before you go on the evening.

Answer 9

Make sure to insist up to the limits of courtesy until the man insists likewise, then you can let him pay if he doesn't let you (which he probably won't). He may understand that you need him to yield so that you can exercise your manliness properly; but the more likely scenario is that he will insist on paying at least his half. It's fine to let him do this as long as plenty of double insisting-resisting has duly taken place beforehand. (Anglo-American etiquette in a nutshell)

Answer 10

Generally, yes. When inviting people out to dinner, the presumption made is that you will be picking up the bill, unless for some reason, it is a larger affair, and you make it clear that it is a pay for yourself kind of affair..

Answer 11

It would be classy and generous to do so, but not necessarily required by etiquette. However, you should be clear with your intentions when you make the invitation, because the expense of the meal may influence their decision.