why my son is less polite after changing his school?

Question

He is in second grade of one of the good elementary in our area he was going to another school for his kindergarten that it was not as good as the present school but at that time he was much more polite than now he did not use some bad words ( get out, shut your mouth, liar liar pants on fire) that he is using now even against me I don't know if is because of school changing or growing up I am so worry Should I talk to their principle or I should do anything else?

Dear all
it is his second year in the school and he is not new any more

Answer 1

Just becasue a school is "good" doesn't mean there aren't a few potty mouthed kids in it. First, consider who he plays with at school. Do you know these children? Do you know their parents? If not, set up some play dates and observe the interactions to see if it is a particular kid or two who is having a negative influence on your child.

In any case, it is nearly impossible to prevent your child from being exposed to those lovely new words and phrases at school. As a parent, you best defense is a good offense. Sit down with your son and talk to him about your values and expectations of him. Kids comply best when they understand the reasons behind our expectations so make sure to give your reasoning behind wanting that type of talk to stop (it's hurtful, it makes him look like a rude person,...etc.). Invite him to think of reasons why that type of talk is wrong. Encourage him to be the bigger person and follow his own moral compass rather than just doing what the rest of the crowd does.

Finally, let him know in advance what the consequences will be if you hear that kind of talk again , either to you or others, and then follow through with them. Better yet, have him help you come up with consequences. This empowers him to take control of his own behavior and you are less likely to get a fight if the consequences need to be imposed since after all, he chose them.

Answer 2

Firstly, can I say that in asking for advice like this, you are proving yourself to be a caring and excellent parent and I am sure that your son is fine, having been raised in such an environment. I remember puberty as a strange and confusing time in which my body seemed almost alien at times and betrayed me daily! I also remember being very aware for the first time that my body was different to a females body. Sure, I knew from being a small child that girls and boys were different physically, but at puberty that difference became meaningful ...and quite scary. I would say that your son is going through pretty much the same experience now. My advice is to give him his space, plenty of privacy - especially with regards to his bedroom and the bathroom - and don't be overly concerned. He'll still come to his Mum for support and advice, but when he needs to. As for your other concerns, firstly I'd be pretty impressed if either of my lazy sons did their own washing or even knew where the damn thing was, and secondly, peeing outside, against walls, trees, fences or indeed anything, is (and I infer no sexism whatsoever here) a "guy thing". We pee stood up which allows us to perform that function pretty much anywhere and we get used to that very early. It's as natural as animals marking their territory and a much earlier and simpler thing than adolescent changes. Which means that though it might seem weird/conflicted to you that he can be so shy one moment and uninhibited the next, it's really not. The two things are unrelated, trust me. Finally, I'd like to add that although I didn't lose my Dad, he wasn't around very much and I (an only child, like your son) was raised pretty much single handed by my Mum, with no male influences or older male role models. Guess what? I'm fine. Happy, well-adjusted, never been in therapy, never been in trouble, had a succession of great jobs and long, stable relationships. Your son will take his cues on how to act as a young man and a grown man from his peer group and his heroes, filtered through the set of values and morals YOU have instilled in him, just as I did with the values my Mum gave me. I hope my answer has shed a little light for you and allowed you to stop worrying and relax! Kids can be odd sometimes, adolescence is a strange time and teenagers are just plain weird,so don't lose too much sleep over it is my advice. Best wishes to you both.

Answer 3

I agree with the person who says it comes with the age. Since the change in schools was a while back, it's likely not an issue. But I'm sure 2nd grade is more demanding than 1st grade, and perhaps he's stressed about the increased work load, and is mouthing off to vent.

Answer 4

He's friends with someone who speaks like that is my guess. My daughter did the same thing, completely changed once she hit school and the language and attitude that came from her was a complete switch. I'd talk to the teacher to find out who is like that in the class and whether your son hangs with him. Also, enforce it at home very strongly, it's not acceptable.

Answer 5

School is one big factor that affects a child's growth.
He could have learned those words from his friends or he could have learned it from TV.

Talking about this to the teacher or principle is not a bad idea but I would suggest you talk it with your boy first, ask him why he says those words.
Kids have to be taught strictly except if you want to see them grow up to be some rude builder guy ;)

~Ming~

Answer 6

It's possible he's become the target of a bully. When kids become bullied they take out their fear, anger and anxiety on their loved ones at home. If that's not the case then perhaps he's become friends with the less behaved kids and has picked up their bad language and manners.

Answer 7

It has more to do with age then anything else. What you should do is discourage this behavior and praise good problem solving. Like when he gets upset using kinder words rather the these harsh ones.

Answer 8

The change of environment , new people and new curriculum might be an issue. Also the companion he is having in his new school is a matter of concern.

Answer 9

First, explain that if he gets in trouble in school, he'll get in trouble when he comes home. He won't like that.

Then, let him know that you understand that he sad about being in a new place, but it upsets you when he misbehaves in school.

You just gotta be the parent.

Answer 10

Hes probably scared, new people, new school, sit him down and reassure him, he probably is just frightened and worried to settle in.