My boyfriend might be going to jail. We have been together for 4 and a half years. He has custody of his 10 year old son and we would like him to be able to stay with me. My questions are, what legally can I do to make sure that happens? Without spending a lot of money of course. And are there programs that I could get assistance with to help with the bills? I do have a job and can work more hours, but it will be a struggle right away. Thanks in advance with tips.
2007-10-29 02:12:19 · 19 answers · asked by kekagel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
editing to add: the boy's biological mother is NOT in the picture, she has seen him twice since he was a year old and has only contacted us once in almost five years, she does not pay child support, no other family members are able to take him, and i wouldn't need assistance a long time, only enough to get me started
2007-10-29 02:23:20 · update #1
You are not a family member, so no, you cannot keep the boy.
The only way you could is if he signed legal custody over to you, which requires a lawyer and the boy's mom's permission.
No, there's no special help you get for keeping him.
2007-10-29 02:15:15 · answer #1 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You have to go to your county courthouse and apply for legal custody, if he's still free for right now, you should bring him with you. Don't settle for guardianship, you'll end up getting screwed in the long run. Be sure to mention to the courts that the biological mother hasn't seen the child, nor contacted you, this will strengthen your case. For assistance with the bills, there is TANF (temporary assistance for needy families) which basically is welfare, food stamps, most states have programs that will help with rent subsidizing, gas and electric bills, etc. The main thing is to prove that staying with you is in the child's best interests. Its not going to be easy, trust me. Your in for a fight, but if you really love this little boy, it'll be well worth it. I wish you luck! And don't let all these fools on here get you down, if you get stuck trying to find information, contact me, I'll do what I can to help.
2007-10-29 09:18:04 · answer #2 · answered by ~Jenn~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that is what he wants then you could draw up a guardianship paper that gives you control and care over his son. This is something in most states that can be done with a simple form found in most office supply stores, and has to be notarized. The only problem would be if his ex were to want to step in at a later time and fight you, she would have to go to court to do it and then explain the reasoning. There are different assistance programs that can help you depending on your state you live in. Not will all the bills but with child care if need be and food.
Places like community action in most places, some churches, and others. Check your local phone book for those.
2007-10-29 09:18:34 · answer #3 · answered by Ghostwriter1959 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Even if bio-mom is not in the picture, she’s still his biological mother (assuming a court has not terminated her parental rights) and therefore, she is first in line for custody. In order for you to get custody, she'd have to agree to it or you’d have to go to court and prove her to be unfit (and it takes A LOT to do that--her failure to maintain contact/provide child support does not necessarily mean she’s unfit). And if any other family member wants custody, they would be in line ahead of you too.
You’re not going to be able to do this without spending some money. Discuss the situation in detail with a local attorney. Many will give a free initial consultation.
2007-10-29 10:14:16 · answer #4 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You didn't mention if the mother of the boy is in the picture. If she is, you may run into some problems. You really need to see an attorney because you'll have to get gaurdianship papers drawn up. If you don't have legal gaurdianship, you can't get him healthcare, get him enrolled in school, or get assistance from the government. It shouldn't be more than a hundred dollars or so.
2007-10-29 09:20:51 · answer #5 · answered by sooie11209 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Psychological reply I can give you for the mental satisfaction, I can not help you legally. By keeping his boy in your house you are not only helping your boy friend , but also helping a needy boy. It is very great, please do that. A boy of that age is required a complete protection, especially when others look at him in their own view, he will have lot problem and he will loose his energy and his dreams and his hopes.. So psychologically I recommend and also request you to keep him till he come back from jail . If you are a real affectionate Girl friend to your your friend, please keep him and protect him more than his mother . All the best and I pray for your boy friends return from the records at the earliest. Yours,
vrvrao
2007-10-29 09:21:13 · answer #6 · answered by Raghavendra R 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If there is no one trying to take custody away, it should be relatively easy. Your boyfriend just draws up a power of attorney letter with a letter of intent that gives you the power to take care of his kid while he is indisposed.
Of course the mother might show up and claim that this is mistreating the kid and he would be in a lousy position to argue.
2007-10-29 09:15:53 · answer #7 · answered by Elana 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Best to start with children's services, see what the custody agreement looks like and what the child's mother's intentions are. Jail might be a custody loser
2007-10-29 09:15:13 · answer #8 · answered by wizjp 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You might have to go through Children Service's and get temporary custody. That way you can sign up for food stamps and stuff like that.
2007-10-29 09:17:02 · answer #9 · answered by mageta8 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
right first let me warn you. dont believe everything the social services say. they when they get a child in care do not easily let them out again. you should make an appointment to see a solicitor that deals with family law, so you may have to ring around. do not leave this to last last minute do it today. you can not really fight this on your own, so you defo need the solicitor behind you. again beware the social services. i was not impressed withthem. good luck
2007-10-29 09:16:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋