Are not possessiveness and dependence the opposite of love?

Question

But too often are mistaken, and misrepresented, for it.

Answer 1

I agree. Dependency or control are not loving.

Answer 2

That's pretty much true, unless the dependence can't be avoided (example - a handicapped person needs a lot of help). Dependence can be a form of two way abuse: the over-control by one person and passive-aggressive manipulation on the part of the other. A little bit of possessiveness shows up once in a while to show you that you care about someone, but you should resist the urge to let it dominate you and the relationship. (Personal example: my stepson came home from college this weekend, but spent most of his time eating at his mom's. She never considers anyone else's schedule and tends to upset our plans. She came home early from a long trip to Europe. I was annoyed because we barely got to see him before this. Anyway, instead of moping around about it and being possessive, I told my husband that if she does it again we should tell her that she can go pick him up from school. It's more than an hour away and she doesn't drive.)

Answer 3

Not really. The question is very open ended. When it comes to human love these two items are necessary in temperate amounts. There is an old torch song that has a line like this: "...lives full of passion, jealousy and hate; woman must have her man and man must have his mate."

The real opposite of love, in all relationships, is indifference. Our existence is in nature symbiotic; if you consider the idea that the death and suffering of any man diminishes you and me. Also consider the old parable of the Good Samaritan.

Let us not negate love, even in the form of civic altruism, by becoming to pure with our definitions. By the way; welcome back from your dramatic departure.

To bend the question again. Is seeing possessiveness and dependence, as flies in the ointment of love, not a viewpoint from the cynics eye?

All to say that the answer to your question depends on the clarity in the eye of the beholder in any given situation. Part of human maturity is learning not to misrepresent our needs or hide our dependence.

Answer 4

Yes. To possess, (or desire to possess), is to "own." We don't own the person we love; we can't, & we shouldn't want to. Dependence is a little more complex, as in some circumstances, as perhaps in physical handicaps, one may depend on another. But never absolute dependency. Such symbiotic relationships exist, one who "needs" & the other who needs to be "needed," but this is not love. Many, many emotions & attitudes are mistaken for love.

Answer 5

Not in simple terms but in extreme instances yes. Anything in excess is bad for you. When you take your wedding vows it says to have and to hold which is in a sense to possess and then it says in sickness and in health which is in a sense a dependability factor. Small amounts are partnered but excessive is terrible. Do not ever own or be owned, there are no slaves or prisoners here, Do not count on another person to live your life for you and handle all your affairs because you will surely let yourself down.

Answer 6

Possessiveness and dependence can be aspects of a relationship. but are not the opposite of love. Granted, they are pretty negative and no one wants either in a relationship. The opposite of love is simply the absence of love.

Answer 7

I don't think that these two qualities are opposite of love. Love is quite indepedent and stems from heart and reaches heart. I am therefore inclined to think that Love is neither dependent on possessiveness nor any other as it is quite straight and has its route in mind as well as in hearts.

Answer 8

No they are not the opposite of love. I don't think either one have anything to do with love! And if you think love is being possessive and dependent I am sure glad I am not with you!

Answer 9

yes and no when two persons are in love they belong together so it's possessiveness and when you love someone you can count on them not depend on them used to be that women depend on men to work while women stay home nowadays women work also so to depend on each other nowadays is like using each other so that's not love.

Answer 10

First off what love means to any one individual is different. Everyone has a different meaning for love. So my answer to your question is, "It all depends on the person".