Long story short, my new sister-in-law got into this family because she got pregnant. I grew up in a family that you did not have a child out of wedlock and I believe many others have the same morales Anywho, I was very quiet during the weekend of their shotgun wedding (something that is not common to me) and I mentioned it to a couple of family members that I did not approve of this.
So now it has blow up into a huge fiasco and I got a letter from her basically preaching her SUPER christianity, how I needed to go to church, and pretty much stating that I needed to go to counseling. This letter made me FURIOUS but my husband asked me to write an apology letter which I did. In it I stated that I apologized for expressing my feelings that weekend. She and her husband stated that it was not a real apology. My husband wants me to write another letter but I feel that I did not do anything wrong and that one letter was not enough. Am I in the wrong? My hub is bf with his bro but I hate her
2007-10-28 18:51:50 · 12 answers · asked by Eve R 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
What is it that men ALWAYS are so overprotective when it comes to their brothers wives or girlfriends???
You apologized already and that WAS it! You do not have to apologize for a second time!!!! Your husband is completely wrong alone for asking you to.
Your husband has a great relationship with his brother and that should and will stay that way.It doesn´t mean that you automatically have to be bosom-buddies with your detested Sister-in-Law just to make your husband happy.
2007-10-28 19:32:58 · answer #1 · answered by tampagirl 2005 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
IMHO, you are wrong because you're being judgemental where the new sister-in-law is concerned. HOW she became a part of your family doesn't really matter. She's there and shouldn't be ostracized and made to feel unwelcome.
From your own description, it sounds like your DH asked that you smooth things out by writing an apology; but when you did so, it was not a sincere one and was subsequently rejected by the receiver. So! IF you wish to keep peace in the family... I would swallow my pride and write a letter apologizing for anything you did that was perceived as wrong. But! I'd made it clear that you are apologizing for that and not for your feelings. You are entitled to your own thoughts and feelings....whatever they may be. In the future, just try to remember to do unto others as you'd have them do unto you. That is the Christian thing to do.
I'd like to suggest that even though you hate her now... Ask God to deal with that hate and in the meantime, show her how big you can be by just letting her be. Good luck to you. I know that situations like this can be quite difficult; my DD recently had a child w/o marrying her BF and I wasn't too happy about it. But God gives us all free will and the right to choose between doing right or wrong. All you can really do is point out the sinful act and leave it up to God to deal with them. Good luck to you hon, Granny B.
2007-10-29 02:18:17 · answer #2 · answered by Brenda 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should write a second letter. First of all, because you are talking about your husband's family, which you joined through marriage, and in which you are creating a rift. Second, because saying "Im sorry you felt bad" is never a real apology, and third because for whichever reason his brother married this women is ultimately not your business. How would you have felt if, during your wedding weekend, his brother's partner would've made it clear they didnt approve of you? I bet you would have felt like they were trying to ruin your happy moment. Probably, you did.
Besides, you are talking about the woman who will be your niece/nephews mother. The child didn't ask to be born, and whould never suffer the consequences by not having you be a part of their life.
2007-10-29 02:00:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are rude and arrogant. You had no business making judgements or comments about them at THEIR wedding. It will probably be a long time before she forgives you. I don't know if I would forgive you at all. How dare you not only bring her down because you think you were raised better, but you are attacking the image of her child by making those comments. You are also very obviously not sorry for what you said and you still think you're all high and mighty, so I don't think she has been given a real apology to accept.
2007-10-29 01:57:57 · answer #4 · answered by colley411 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Voicing your views at her wedding was wrong. Having your own personal opinion is not. If you have already apologized for the behavior, and they are asking for you to apologize for the way you feel, you are not the one who needs counseling. She is overreacting. She made her own life choice, she has to live with the consequences. People will think what they want in life, your opinion is your own. She owes you an apology for any personal attack on you unrelated to the wedding offense.
2007-10-29 02:05:21 · answer #5 · answered by haute.pepper 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
first off, you had no place in saying anything or even expressing your opinion to anyone in the family. you should of kept your opinion to yourself. and then you had the audacity to say that you apologized for expressing your feelings for the weekend. that's not even a good apology. i can understand you having your views on the subject but you should of kept that to yourself. i would be pissed off too these people invited you to the wedding as a friend not so you can pass judgment.
2007-10-29 02:20:03 · answer #6 · answered by cutie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it was right of you to judge someone else morals or upbringing and try to compare them to yours as saying yours is better. It sound to me that you are a little JEALOUS of her. It seems you may be a little threatened by another Woman coming into your husbands family that maybe she over shadows you? Mind your own business. And stay out of their relationship. Don't send her anymore letters. She is better off without them and obviously without you. Sorry, but.. true.
2007-10-29 02:15:30 · answer #7 · answered by courtneyscottusa 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you were so offended by the letter she wrote you why may i ask is your husband not standing by you and demanding that your sister in law write you an apology
2007-10-29 02:07:56 · answer #8 · answered by colin b 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
You've already apologized once. There is nothing else to do. If your sister-in-law and her husband did not accept it,then that's their problem. She expresses the fact,that you need to attend Church Services,but she's not willing to forgive you?. A real Christian would forgive you,and move on.
2007-10-29 01:59:55 · answer #9 · answered by Squeakers 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
It sounds like you are upholding your morals, which is a good thing. Yet, I think you are being judgmental and rude. Apologize, but only when you mean it.
2007-10-29 01:58:30 · answer #10 · answered by munkees81 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋