a year ago i had asked a q abt my my wife's suspected affair. Sat nite she told me she did hv one. But all she did was talk to this friend of mine. Regularly of course, but only in general. Nothing discussed ever was private or personal She was going thru a very diff emotional phase where she felt let down by every1 she knew incl me. Hence she tried to find refuge in this guy, who tried to help in some other matter & later it became regular small talks. But she says she put an end to it a year back after he tried to get physical.
Shes been crying since, feeling guilt and pain, & vows to never do that again. i love her immensely and i believe that she does too. I told her i forgave her and we shall change the dynamics of our relationship, which we both intend to do.
i cant get this entire episode out of my mind. My wife talking to some1 w/o me knowing & then this guy getting physical & she hiding this entirely 4m me.
how do i overcome this feeling ??? only genuine answ plz
2007-10-28 18:12:41 · 6 answers · asked by sleazy70 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
involving a 3rd person 1nce again. NO THANKS!
2007-10-28 18:39:51 · update #1
spk to a jackass who crossed the friendship line!!! never... rather trust my wife (who may not be telling the complete story) than this b*****d
2007-10-28 18:58:00 · update #2
tks each and every1 4 ur response. we need to reconcile our relationship and no better time than now, initially i felt that there would be more but im convinced theres none, sad these things happen in life but brite side is that nothin major went wrong
thanks a zillion once again from the bottom of my heart and its going to be really really diff choosing the best answer,
2007-10-30 20:23:20 · update #3
They just talked, and she obviously didn't allow him to get physical, since you said he only TRIED. I wouldn't consider that an affair..... She just needed someone to talk to....it was the guy who tried to cross the friendship line.
2007-10-28 18:16:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah but its what we call an emotional affair. It's the equalizer to how much worse men are treated vs women when we have an actual physical affair.
The problem here is still with her. Your not a mind reader- if she has a problem she should have confided in you and not some jackball. She shouldn't feel guilty abotu something he did, but this is a stereotypical mistake made by women- they tell everyone but their husbands their problems. Just another example of women having NO responsiblity in the relatioship any more.
2007-10-28 18:25:22 · answer #2 · answered by kttphoenix 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to put this out of our mind and concentrate on where you go from here, because if you think about the fact that she was talking to someone who tried to get physical with her, and that she didn't allow that, you also have to admit, not to place blame on you, but she needed something and you along with others let her feel let down without realizing it or doing anything about it. When you think about her part in that episode then, you have to think of your own part in it as well.
It is better to think of the future and plan times to talk, times to do various things to show the love you share, and perhaps new things to explore whether skydiving together or a night of bowling. you got past that so now do things to bring you closer together and bring more joy into both of your lives. Good Luck to you, and be happy!
2007-10-28 18:31:22 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she made an error in judgement...and she came really close to making a major mistake...hopefully you meant it when you said that you forgive her. If it were me, (and I hold a grudge) it would be really hard for me to get it out of my mind and stop thinking about it. Maybe you need to talk to someone? maybe not full-blown counseling but someone...a third party. maybe that will help you see that she is sorry and it will show her how much that hurt you...this may keep her from letting her judgement slip in the future. and then just have a "start over" in your relationship, start fresh with this new feeling of honesty between the two of you.
2007-10-28 18:29:41 · answer #4 · answered by Andrea 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you told her that you forgive her, then you need to do just that. However, I would speak to this man, face to face. Maybe you can find out his side of the story too. Then again, you might not want to know.
2007-10-28 18:54:24 · answer #5 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiving is NOT forgetting, but it's letting go of the pain.
that's the first step and only time will heal that pain.
2007-10-28 19:00:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋