I have been dating my current boyfriend for almost two years. I have been very unhappy in the relationship due to a number of things. For the last 3-5 months I have been trying to break up with him, now almost every week, but he wont take me seriously. He says "oh not this again" and "don't be stupid."....I have told him I am very unhappy and even to the point of creating lists of why its just not working out. Considering that he is a very controlling person and depends on me for money and support (doesn't have a job and just dropped out of school), I think hes just staying with me for the money. Last week I took him off all of my credit cards, yet I still feel I cant get away. I want to break it off with him but he just will not listen to me. I feel smothered and don't know what to do.
2007-10-28 18:09:04 · 19 answers · asked by Candice 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He sounds delusional honestly, could perhaps be a bit sociopathic, given that you've told him more than enough times that you want things to be 'over' and he literally tells you that you're bing "stupid". To any clinical psychologist, or just any person with common sense, he sounds like he's "on the edge". You need to get someone to be there with you when you tell him that at that very instant you say it's over, IT's OVER. He must LEAVE then, or at least within 24 hours. If he refuses, then it's time to call the cops... seriously. You said he's controlling. That's the first sign of a "violent-natured" person, and yes, to women... or anyone for that matter. Take him very seriously, but make sure he knows you are too.
Get others involved in this one... better safe than sorry.
Good luck!
2007-10-28 18:18:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to make a list of why you want to break up. Of course if he dropped out of school and doesn't have a job he's pretty much there for the money and if you let him control you he has it made. Are you living together? If so, move out. He'll have to find another place to roost quick without your support. Tell him he's not allowed in your new place because he's not on the lease. He needs a wake up call to reiterate that it's time for him to support himself. You're not his mother and not obligated to provide for him. If he won't leave you alone get a restraining order and put his sorry butt in jail a time or two. He'll get the message. Don't be afraid to do this. It won't get better if you stay in this situation.
2007-10-29 01:16:49 · answer #2 · answered by mojo52 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you told him he should have respected you and walked away. By not leaving he is reinforcing everything you felt was wrong with him. Change the locks and stop taking his phone calls. If he continues to try and contact you for support get a restraining order. He needs grow up and stop being so co-dependent.
2007-10-29 01:20:04 · answer #3 · answered by rockpunkpixie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you don't like him anymore, then threaten him with a restraining order. If he doesn't listen, follow through with the threat. Be careful. Some people can be violent. If you are scared of him, get some male relatives or friends to make the message clear to him. I not talking about a butt kicking, just that they are watching him. Allot of times, that works very well. It worked for my sister.
2007-10-29 01:26:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume you're an adult since you mentioned credit cards. I also assume you don’t live with Boyfriend since you didn’t mention that, and that would be a *very important* piece of information to leave out!
Tell him CLEARLY that it is over and you do not want him to contact you in any way. Tell him if he comes to your house, you will call the police and file trespassing charges against him, and if he calls you, then you will call the police and file harassment charges against him. And tell him if necessary, you will request a restraining order against him. And then FOLLOW THROUGH.
2007-10-29 01:18:05 · answer #5 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just stop seeing him. Kick him out or leave. Change your phone number. If you are afraid he may hurt you, call the police and get a restraining order. Good Luck. He sounds like a bum.
2007-10-29 01:19:42 · answer #6 · answered by TAS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first off, stop sleeping with him if you haven't yet, that will send a clear message. You may need to step it up to throwing his stuff out. Seriously, you shouldn't need to make lists, and with us, the simpler the better. Will your safety be an issue?
2007-10-29 01:15:32 · answer #7 · answered by smash979 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
walk away and tell him it is over and you mean it and he needs to leave i mean how many more hints can you give the guy???
you need to be stong and just walk away and be seriuos about it and also if he calls etc dont answer every time and stuff like that he will get the message eventually i hope
2007-10-29 01:16:05 · answer #8 · answered by mezzina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be like im 'being totally serious, i want out', no games, no fooling around. i totally know how you feel ive dealt with one of these before. and its not easy to get them off your back. all i can say is sit him down and tell him this. maybe he's not ready or not wanting to end it and is just ignoriing what you say and hearing what he wants to hear. good luck and hang in there!
:]
2007-10-29 01:14:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if all else fails then move out and dont tell him where you are at. you can also give him an eviction notice and a restraining order as well.
2007-10-29 01:14:50 · answer #10 · answered by alexia's mommy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋