I met this girl at college. After the first date, she sent me a message saying she really enjoyed it and wanted to do it again.
After second date, she messaged me saying "she was really excited about our date. and i had certain qualities, which she admires a lot..... she could not wait to see me again".
I planned a longer third date.... on which she told me she was having some trouble with her ex-boyfriend, who hassled her a bit at the bar. she still has some sympathy for him because he is having a hard time "letting go of her".
then as we were sitting together on a bench on the riverside, i made an attempt to kiss her....... she pushed me away lightly, and said " i dont think so, it is too early, i just got out of a relationship".
I was confused.
I sent her an email the next day........ "apologizing for trying to kiss her, and advised her that if her boyfriend still makes her happy, she should work things out with him."
BUT, problem=I still like her.... advice?
2007-10-28 17:47:37 · 14 answers · asked by average_joe 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
dude, you just sent her BACK to the boyfriend!
2007-10-28 17:51:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's emailing and responding, then he's also pursuing, just in a more discrete way. His ego is getting a boost and he's getting an adrenaline rush from having a secret attraction. It's enticement that he thinks he can handle, until it crosses the line. Then it's too late and the damage is done. If she knows he's married, why does she continue the pursuit? Sounds like she's getting off on the situation as well. That's a dangerous combination, and will only lead to bigger problems (sorry, no pun intended). If he has children, she's putting a marriage in jeopardy and a family at risk of breakup. You need to pull her back to reality and tell her to knock it off ...asap. The attraction is not worth the trouble it can produce.
2016-04-11 00:24:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she balked at kissing you, then it's one of two things:
#1.) She suddenly decided she's not attracted to you after all (for whatever reason.)
#2.) She's a woman who saves her kisses for men who matter. (As opposed to making out with anybody she thinks is cute.) I hope for your sake that this is the case because you sound like a really nice guy who likes her quite a bit.
Here's what I'd suggest:
Tell her essentially what you told us. Then tell her that you understand she needs time and space to sort things out. Make sure she knows how to reach you. Then leave it up to her.
In the meantime, don't sit around daydreaming about her or waiting for her. Take out other women, spend time with your friends, keep yourself busy. You'll know soon enough if she's heading back to you.
CAUTION - though - No matter how much you might like her, you don't know her very well yet. Keep your sense about the situation so you don't end up putting up with a lot of heartbreaking nonsense.
Here's what to watch for:
If her ex boyfriend is some crazy, dangerous guy - don't step into the middle of the drama - it could be a fatal mistake.
If you suspect that she is playing you to make her ex boyfriend jealous, or if she stays "torn between you two" for two long, she's a drama queen - don't waste your time.
If you get involved and you suspect that she's still in "rebound mode" - talking about her ex boyfriend too often or getting too attached to you too quickly - it's time for you to establish the boundaries and slow things down. Those quick rebound relationships seldom go well because the person on the rebound simply isn't over their breakup enough to love a new person the right way.
Good luck! (I hope she's worth the effort you're putting into the relationship.)
2007-10-28 18:08:57 · answer #3 · answered by ceezee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should have kept your mouth or your computer shut. If she had any feelings towards you she wont anymore because you pretty much pushed her away and pushed her towards the arms of her ex. You should have just slowed down and gone on the next date. Good luck trying to get a fourth date, and if you do don't tell her to go back with her ex.
2007-10-28 17:52:30 · answer #4 · answered by El Zacatecas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude, i'm in the same issue ..
i tried kissing this girl who got out of a year and a half relationship .. and she rejected me .
she said "dont take it the wrong way .. im not playing you .. its just, i just got out of a relationship."
but she enjoys my company and she even said i remind her of someone she really really liked .
I still like her too ..
What i'm doing is .. taking things slow .. but im not trying to see her as much .. you know to slow some things down and to clear up the fog ..
Good luck .
2007-10-28 17:54:06 · answer #5 · answered by theGREATEST. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's confused. Just let it all go for a couple of days and try to go on another date with her. See how it goes from there.
2007-10-28 17:50:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, but I would wait a bit till the time is right.
2007-10-28 17:49:45 · answer #7 · answered by Cali C. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tread carefully. She could be on the rebound from her ex and then you'll just end up hurt. Take things VERY slowly...
2007-10-28 17:54:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. She's still with the other guy. Besides, if she has asked you to back off for awhile, not doing so is considered stalking.
2007-10-28 17:52:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait for her to make next move.. really
2007-10-28 17:50:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES BUT BE VERY CAREFULL CAUSE SOME GIRLS CAN LIE AND SAY YOU DID THIS AND THAT AND YOU DIDNT DO ANYTHING AT ALL BUT WHO DO YOU THINK THE POLICE IS REALLY GOING TO BELEAVE AND I GAURENTEE YOU IT WONT BE YOU SO BE AS IT MAY JUST BE VERY VERY CAREFULL OK HOPE THIS HELPS..........
2007-10-28 17:53:26 · answer #11 · answered by Popeye 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋