Christians, do you have a hard time relating to other Christians?

Question

When I was younger, I always had a lot of friends but since I've been a Christian, it's really hard for me to meet other people. I go to church but I can't seem to meet anyone I can talk to or get close to. Is this weird? =)

Answer 1

Need to find other common interest.

Answer 2

Well, to be brutally honest, there are probably alot fewer Christians now than there were when we were younger -- the "falling away" has already started. I'm lucky / blessed, whatever you want to call it -- I've always found it easy to make friends, Christians or not, but like you I think that I have fewer Christian friends (as a percentage) than I did years ago. Many reasons -- my circles have widened (work, school, so on), a lot of Christians are insecure about letting others find out that they ARE Christians, and a lot of Christians tend to avoid fellowship. It may depend, for you, on your church -- I go to a really small church (less than 100 except for Christmas and Easter), and we are kinda like family (to a point). I've actually started to go "up the ladder" in terms of friends in church, agewise I mean. It's harder to hang out with people 20 years older, but easier to discuss some things. Seems that with most people my own age, it's easier to forget to be in the world but not of it.
Good luck!
Have a great night!

Answer 3

I have a hard time relating to those who have been Christians so long that to them their greatest sin is that they missed Sunday school once. I find that as an adult believer it is *much* easier for me to relate to other adult believers or at least those who have been through a good amount of personal difficulty. Otherwise I'm just like --- what will we talk about?

I do know exactly what you're talking about, but please hang in there! It may take some time --- time which the Lord is using to show you how to rely on Him *only*, which is amazing, but I assure you, it will happen in His time, and it is a wonderful friendship indeed.

I think you'll be amazed once you get past the mandatory American Christian cheerfulness that most people have here (that is so antithetical to scripture, I think!) that there are many people in the church who are much easier to relate to than you think.

:)

Answer 4

nope, a very common experience, and my own also.

strong cliques exist in church circles, unfortunately. however, this is not the only reason for your experience.

it can be hard to get close to some christians if they are living under religion. instead of having a living friendship with God which overflows into love for those around them they live by a list of rules and principals (often unwritten) that they think they need to accomplish in order to be 'a good christian' and accepted by God AND those around them. this is really quite common and unfortunately some churches encourage it and even give leadership positions to those who do this successfully.
living by such rules and principals (which can even include 'reading your bible everyday', 'going to the prayer meeting' etc) can suck the life out of people and create walls which they live behind. they secretly feel ashamed that they can't measure up and don't want people to see the real them. as a result they can be hard to connect with. it can also cause them to (often unconsciously) judge others who are not living by or fulfilling the rules they live by. judgement- even when subtle- creates enormous isolation in relationships.

because of this people can often find that non-christians are easier to connect with because they are 'less judgemental and more easy-going'. and it can be true. i often experience better fellowship with non-christians and that's ok. what is important is love. but it is definately encouraging, and indeed vital, to find people who share your beliefs that you can connect with. it may take time to find them.

i believe the religious christains mean well, they have just forgotten the grace of god. i also believe if you search hard enough you will find christians who are free from religion...but they are treasures... rare and precious.

Answer 5

I don't think its weird. I've grown up in church, but our family moved six months ago and we had to switch churches. (Not the first time)
Its tough, I know first-hand.
It just takes time to grow close to the folks in your church, or sometimes you find that you feel more at home in a different church. But eventually, you find your place and people whom you can grow close to. Its a learning experience, and its hard, but the Lord will provide. Just hang in there.

Answer 6

Yes I do, more than you know. It is nothing out of the ordinary for a TRUE. Being influenced by "man" will always lead you astray. Follow the teachings of Christ alone but do not forget to reach out to others who are in need.

Brightest Blessings

Answer 7

It seems to me that it kinda depends on what church you go to. I suggest Calvary Chapels because they have some really great people at them generally.

Answer 8

i kinda know what ur talking about. i went to a church for 5 months and i didnt really "fit in". you should visit local churches and go to the one you feel more comfortable in.

Answer 9

I don't have that problem. The people at my church are closer to me than my blood family. I love them and they love me. I would rather be with them than my family. God truly blessed me with my church family. I am not sure I truly understood Christian brotherly love until I started at this church. I unashamedly hug the necks of other men at my church and tell them I love them and mean every word.

Answer 10

It is not that.
I know EXACTLY what you are talking about.
BUT!!!
When you get your focus off of the things of this world, and focus more on Christ, He helps you to get your mind off of yourself and put it on others.
He helped me to learn to get to know people and LET THEM TALK.
Ya know?

He promises SO MANY THINGS --and you did a good thing by giving your life to Christ.
I had to pray to be a peopel person.
I was selfish and MORE and He has changed me.

I ALWAYS think people think I am weird.
But I know the author of confusion and depression and sadness and worry and anxiety is the devil.

SO, I talk to people now--- JUST LIKE I KNOW THEM and have for YEARS!!
IT WORKS!

A way to make friends is to ask them how they are--then ACTUALLY LISTEN--so the next time you see them, ask 'how is so and so?'
DON'T talk about yourself, when talking to someone. Get them to talk about themselves.
That was in a good book about meeting people.
It said people LOVE to talk about themselves.
AND it said to remember their name,,...puh,... I am terrible on names.
Oh, well, you get it now?

Can you tell I am on caffeine?

Answer 11

Go to the pastor and tell him the same thing you are saying here !!! If he has anything on the ball he will get you plugged in pronto !!!

Rom 5:8] But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
[1John 1:8] If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
[1John 1:9] If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
[Rom 10:9] That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
[Rom 10:10] For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
[Mat 10:32] Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven

iF YOU HAVE TOLD A MINISTER THAT YOU HAVE DONE THE ABOVE YOU ARE NOW READY TO ATTEND ANY CHURCH THAT LOVES JESUS CHRIST AS LORD AND SAVIOUR !!! GOD BLESS YOU IN YOUR QUEST TO KNOW GOD !!!