my girlfriend and i are talking about getting married in march. i want to talk to her parents to get their blessing. when should i talk to them? a few weeks before i propose? days?
2007-10-28 15:45:30 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
At least a day before but you can ask as early as you want. My HTB asked like two months before proposing because he found the perfect ring and didn't want to take the chance it might not be there later on. I doubt they would "blab" the secret...
1. make sure you are doing it face to face
2. be respectful
3. I would shop for the ring so you know in case her dad asks but not purchase it until he says yes. Having the ring already purchased may come across as arrogant and presumptous.
2007-10-28 15:52:16 · answer #1 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I would ask at least 2 days before you do it. I don't think it's too presumptuous to buy the ring before you ask, just so long as you're pretty sure that they'll say yes. I would only be concerned about it if you don't get along with her parents.
One of my good friends just got engaged, and he asked her mom (her parents are divorced, and her mom is really the one who raised her) on the 18th and asked her with the ring, on the 21st. He also had to ask her mom over the phone because they live in North Carolina and her mom and I live in New Mexico.
The shorter amount of time you give them, the less time they have to spill the secret. However, the longer, the more time they'll have to get used to the idea before you ask her.
Now, regardless of how long it is between asking the 'rents and your girl, you need to be prepared to answer some questions, because I'm sure your future in-laws will be asking some questions. My dad would be asking whether or not he had a ring yet, and if he wants to use his parents diamonds to make a ring.
They could ask about a ring, when you're planning on asking her, when you're planning on getting married, if you're financially prepared to support her, and who knows what else!!
Congratulations!! And good luck!!
2007-10-28 16:10:23 · answer #2 · answered by Freke 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the ethnicity and culture of the girl and her parents. With Anglo-Saxon culture I would suggest a day or two, even a week, before asking the girl if you want to do the correct 'Honourable thing' with the parents. In an Anglo-Saxon culture in present times you do not need to ask the girls parents first.
With possibly Greek or Italian, I would ask the parents two or three weeks before proposing.
In other cultures one never asks a girl (proposes), you must ask the parents or ask your parents to ask a 'matchmaker' to make the approach to a girls parents. If they say yes, then you are 'unofficially engaged' and a formal engagement ceremony is conducted about two-three weeks later.
2007-10-28 15:59:33 · answer #3 · answered by Walter B 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you and your girlfriend are already talking you have proposed just don't have the ring yet.
My brother told the boy he would need to ask his permission to marry his little girl. He couldn't because he was saving for the ring still. My mom loaned him money for the ring so he went to my brother to ask permission to marry his daughter. It wasn't a big shock that he asked and my brother did give him permission and told him he could take over the payments.
Now they have been married 13 year and my niece spends money like crazy and her husband keeps saying the thought he was kidding about taking over the payments.
I would wait until you are ready to buy the ring but he shouldn't be too surprised make sure he knows you are thinking marriage.
2007-10-28 16:27:10 · answer #4 · answered by shipwreck 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her parents as soon as possible .. after you first talk to her. It would be a good idea to ask her when it would be the best time to meet with her parents.
If your girl already knows .. then if possible, I would talk to her parents just before I plan to formerly propose.
Talk to the parents .. then propose directly after that. You don't want to keep your girl waiting, or in suspense. And you surely don't want your future in-laws to wonder why you are dragging your feet after talking to them.
Ask the parents. Propose right after.
Best wishes.
2007-10-28 16:05:21 · answer #5 · answered by Tara 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well I guess it all depends on how you are going to ask and the relationship you have with her parents. Obviously they already know your intentions if you have been spending time with their daughter. Take them out to dinner and ask them in person, that's usually the easiest. since my dad had passed away, I made my husband ask my 10 brothers since they would all be giving me away.
One other idea...make them part of the proposal. My brother bought his girlfriend ..(now my sister in law) a digital camera for her birthday. Before giving it to her he went around and took pictures of everyone in the family (her parents, my mother, our nieces and even her best friend who lived 2 hours away) holding her ring. When he gave her the camera she tried it out and realized there were pictures already on it...to her surprise my brother is standing behind her holding the ring ready to propose. It was very special and very creative. Good luck and whatever you do...make it you. It is the one moment she will remember for ever and you only get one chance to do it right!
2007-10-28 16:06:48 · answer #6 · answered by Florida Fun in the Sun 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My fiance did it about 2 weeks in advance. He knew that my mom would not be able to keep it in for too long before she told me, so he cut it a little close. Try 2 to 3 weeks, make sure you already have the ring so you can show it to them. Good Luck
2007-10-29 02:19:15 · answer #7 · answered by bella_babe_86 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My fiance asked my father four days before he proposed. The day after he asked we had gone on vacation.
So the closer they are the better. You don't want to have them slip it out to anyone who happen to be a blab.
2007-10-28 17:40:45 · answer #8 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's 2007! Propose to your lady and then both of you should tell her parents the glad news together. You're creating a partnership with your woman so this is something you both should do together--same for your parents. If you want, wait until Thanksgiving when the family is together and make the announcement sometime during the feasting.
2007-10-28 16:49:54 · answer #9 · answered by Inundated in SF 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Not long enough for them to not be able to take it anymore and blab to her. Not the night before either. Some happy medium. I'd say when you know the exact day you can propose, then plan a couple of weeks before then
2007-10-28 15:49:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋