Can I return him back to the system, or find another adoptive parent for him? It's nothing like I thought it would be, and I just can't get used to having him. Please help.
2007-10-28 15:38:42 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
omg thats really horrible!!!! That boy needs you, you jerk!
2007-10-28 15:42:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 16⤊ 1⤋
you know what? If you returned this boy and got another one then it's just going to turn out the same as this one. You need to give it time and a few months is hardly a real try. and just because you had higher expectations for what the process would be like isn't this child's fault. He was adopted by you for a reason and what do you think it would do to him psychologically if you were to "return" him? so i say you should give it more of a shot and try extra hard with the little guy. He is six he will have some attachment issues he may feel that nobody wants him and then you are willing to give him away? And let him go through the abandonment all over again? I think that's heartless and i Really do feel sorry for that boy and if i knew you i would adopt the poor kid myself. Just think carefully about the repercussions of what you are contemplating.
2007-10-28 17:29:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is a legal matter, so I would suggest you contact an attorney who handles adoptions. You can't return a child like you return an unwanted gift to a store. When you adopt a child, he or she is the same as if you had given birth to said child. However, I do realize that some folks are just not cut out to be parents, despite their good intentions. So talk to an attorney and see if another placement can be made for this little boy. But before you do that, be sure that's what you really want to do. You might regret that decision later on. By the same token, if it's really bugging you, you may get to resent the boy, and that would be terrible for him. So do some soul searching before making any decisions. Good luck to you.
2007-10-28 16:26:43 · answer #3 · answered by gldjns 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I adopted a baby boy 6 years ago. We put countless hours of thought, prayer, and research into it before we decided to go ahead with it. Did you not do the same? Did you not go through any type of pre-adoptive counseling before you did it? That seems fairly unlikely due to the fact that rigorous visits from a social worker are actually REQUIRED by any agency that you go through. Or was yours a private adoption with only attorneys present? In any case, no, you cannot return a child. That child is yours. You are legally responsible for the upbringing of that little one. Put on your game face, contact a counseling agency that specializes in this type of thing (they're out there) and WORK AT IT!!! Parenting, biologically or otherwise, does not come easy nor does it come with an instruction booklet. Be a human and PARENT THAT CHILD!!!
2007-11-01 14:25:59 · answer #4 · answered by shari m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A child is not some item you buy from a department store and return it because you don't like it or it doesnt' fit. You should have thought about all this before you decided to adopt. By the sounds of it you were no where ready to adopt. Parenthood is not always gravy. If you truly want to be a parent you are going to have to stick to it through thick and thin.
2007-10-28 16:41:40 · answer #5 · answered by Kerri W 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
When you say "I" instead of "we" it makes me think you are going through the turmoil that makes single parents lives miserable - which stinks, but lots of people survive it. As for the content of your question, this is not an ownership issue, so you can't just return him. You are as legally responsible as you would be if he were your biological son. There are steps you can take to be relieved of that responsibility, and if you are seriously thinking of this, he may be better off elsewhere, but I know how adoption works, and I know this couldn't have been a spur of the moment decision, so go back to the rational and intelligent answers you gave to social workers and agents before anythign was final, and reconsider it from there. You might just be struggling with the adjustments yourself. That is normal, but you have no more right to get out of adoptive parenthood than you have to get out of any other kind of parenthood.
2007-10-28 15:52:56 · answer #6 · answered by awakeatdawn 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Well the boy isn't just some animal or item that you can just throw away if its not working out the way you planned. If you're not going to treat him properly and love him and care for him like a parent should no matter what (unconditional love) which is the duty of all parents then yes. Give him to someone else that can take care of him. poor boy...
2007-10-28 18:41:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to speak to the agency for possible support,i don't think this is the right attitude though,you can't just return him like a damaged goods item back to the store you know,give him some time to settle,if you've made your final decision then you need to contact the agency you went through to get him,it may decrease your chances of adopting in the future though.
2007-10-28 20:04:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you still within the warraty period? How about an upgrade instead?
I am at a loss as to how you can be so flippant about adoption. He's not a disposable product that once you're tired of him you can return him to the store.
2007-10-28 17:27:28 · answer #9 · answered by Tracey H 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
it has only been a few months. having a child takes a long time to adjust to, and that is a newborn of your own, you have adopted a child that is 6. You need to give this more time. I have two kids that are mine one is 3 one is 9 months and sometimes i want to give them back. This child has been through enough he is not a dog you can't just give him back if you are not happy. Don't be selfish think of your new son! How do you know you won't want him back and then tear his world apart again. GIVE IT TIME. or go get counsilling.
2007-10-28 15:44:29 · answer #10 · answered by top_mumsy 3 · 7⤊ 1⤋
You should have been sure before you adopted him..Its not like taking something back to the store because you don't like it...There are feelings involved here...obviously NOT yours but think of the child
2007-10-28 18:26:31 · answer #11 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋