Ok i'm 13(almost 14) and i'm going out with this guy who is 16. I'm a goodygoody two shoes...just thought i should throw that out so no one thinks i'm some sl*t and this is my first relationship...i've been going out with this guy...(he's kinda ghetto...he's thinking about joining a gang...bad idea)...he just asked me to 'do it' with him!!...I AM SOOOOO NOT READY FOR THIS!!!! so far we've been dating for 7 months...everythings been going really slow and easy...he's never pressured me into ANYTHING...he moved really slowly...and he says he loves me and that kinda stuff and he wants to 'make love to me'....and he told me to have an answer by tomorrow.....i really don't wanna do this...i don't know how to tell him...i know he'll understand...but i know he'll be a little mad too....what do i do??!?!?!?!
2007-10-28 15:32:22 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm a goodygoody by the way...i go to a prep school and I have straight A's...i've never gotten a detention...i've never done ANYTHING wrong..
2007-10-28 15:41:45 · update #1
my dear , plz.. say him straight " NO ". REMEMBER u have ur full future ahead . don't do this.
think wat a shock ur parents will get.
n forget abt that , think if this guy will leave u in future then wat will u do ? will u be able to fogive urself ?
2007-10-28 15:41:11 · answer #1 · answered by amy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey guess what. You already answered your own question. If you don't want to do this then don't. And this statement is coming from a man. Don't ever let anyone pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. This is just puppy love between you two. It is a whole lot better when you are ready than when you are not. You are only 13 years old. There is no sense in trying to grow up so fast because once you grow up you can never become a child again. You have the rest you life to do adult things. You are only 13. Between the ages of 1 -17 you can be a kid. Ages 18 – 100 you are an adult. You will have a lot more time being an adult than a kid. Just because he is your first love doesn’t mean he will be your only. There will be plenty of other boyfriends to come. So just tell him that you are not ready. If he doesn’t accept this, tell him to get the H*LL out of your life and move on to the next boyfriend. Also, never let peer pressure dictate your actions. Making your own decisions can make you a very powerful person.
2007-10-28 22:58:42 · answer #2 · answered by Champ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey you are way too young. And it seems that you know what the answer is- you are not ready. And if he really cares for you, he will respect your decision. Believe me, if he is thinking about joining a gang, this is not the type of guy you want to be with. Gangs mean trouble. You are still young and there is no reason for you to rush to do these things. There will be plenty of guys that you will date and when you are older and feel that you are ready, then you will know what to do.
He is pressuring you if he is telling you to have an answer by tomorrow. You sound like a really smart girl and it wouldn't be worth it to do something that you are not ready for. You say that he would understand so tell him that this is something that you do not feel right doing.
Besides, you have to think about the consequences of having sex- pregnancy, stds. You don't want to burden yourself at such a young age. As for him joining a gang- talk to him tell him how you feel about that and that gang life is not something that he wants to get into- in the end it will just end up ruining his life. Stay strong and enjoy your childhood you don't need to be burdened with these adult issues.
- don't rush to grow up. Good Luck
2007-10-28 22:49:18 · answer #3 · answered by Piluli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer should be pretty simple. NO.
Not only are you too young and not ready for it, this guy [not to be mean] doesnt sound like the type you'd want to lose it to.
You said yourself he's thinking about joining a gang, I dont think you'd want to be involved in something like that.
Tell him if he reallyloves you, then he can wait until you are ready. If he gets angry, then the sad honest truth is he doesn't really love you, if he does, then he'd understand your feelings about havign sex at such a young age.
I'm 17, I've never had sex, while most of my friends have, I honestly think it's for the best that I wait, and not give it up to someone randomly you know?
If you're not ready for it, doing it could really put a strain on your relationship, I've seen it happen to friends, and I'd rather not go through that, until I personally feel I and ready, and know that whoever I lose it to loves me.
All in all, just dont give in to him, and be confident about it, listen to your councious I'm sure you'll be fine.
Best Wishes,
Stephie
2007-10-28 22:44:38 · answer #4 · answered by Nenenie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG!! 13 is way to young to be intimate in any kind of relationship. I wasn't even allowed to date boys till I was 15. You say that you have been together for several months and he loves you very much. If he loves you then why would he put that kind of pressure on you? Since you're not ready,you have to tell him to be more patient. Even if he does get upset and if he really loves you for the sweet person that you are he should understand and be patient with you until you feel you are ready and the time is right for you. Please don't give in to the male pressure. In my experience its seems like men will tell you that they love you and really care for you just to get what they want (which is sex). And, when you do give in, they seem to change and then you both go your seperate ways. You're first time should really be a special experience with someone that you truly love and care very deeply for. You should never have any regrets about your first time because this is something that you will remember for the rest of your life. I wish you lots of luck!!
2007-10-28 23:20:56 · answer #5 · answered by adidasamir 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your thirteen for the love of god. The last thing you need is to accidently get pregnant, when you're not even in high school yet.
Listen to someone who knows. I got pregnant at 17, and totally didn't plan on it. I was on birth control too, it could happen to you!!!
Don't do it just to keep your boyfriend happy. 5 years down the road, its not going to make a bit of difference.
If you don't want to sound childish by telling him you're not ready... Tell him straight up, "im only thirteen, and I dont wanna get knocked up."
2007-10-28 22:44:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say this but any boy that is 16 who dates a girl that is 13 has some serious mental issues. If they are "ghetto" and want to join a "gang" you are in for a rollercoaster ride of disappointment for the rest of your life. I recommend staying in school and dating educated people that will help get you ahead in life, not behind.
2007-10-28 22:38:40 · answer #7 · answered by Hurricane 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Find a new boy friend quick -he's giving you an ultimatum "say yes now or we're over" so to speak. Sounds pretty selfish to me to ask someone you "love" to make a choice or it's over.
That's not love.
I know this is gonna sound cliche' but read this passage in the Bible it's universally known as the"Love" chapter. It describes love as it should be . . .
1Corinthians 13
P.S. Sixteen year old boys may seem like they are mature from your perspective -but they are not! . . . trust me I was sixteen once. Don't have sex until you are ready to be a mom because it can happens to a 13 year old too!
2007-10-28 22:42:31 · answer #8 · answered by Bob T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO.
if he told you that you have a deadline on deciding to take it to that level then he is being an asshole. your only 13 your more than liekly not going to be with this guy forever. if you even think you arent ready then why should you do it? dont let him pressure you which is exactly what he's doing. if hes mad at you for not wanting to or not being ready then thats really selfish and even more reason not to give it up to someone like that.
plus your only thirteen... be a kid you willhave plenty of other oppurtunities to have sex.
2007-10-28 22:41:40 · answer #9 · answered by jellie42 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are still a child enjoy being one. Don't rush into a sexual relationship with a boy, love is a strong weapon to use against someone.... If you love me you would do it with me.... If you love me you would go with me to.... If you love me you would understand that I need to join this gang....ECT..... Don't be fooled or pulled in by a claim of love. How many teenagers have used that line on their parents ...if you love me you would let me go...knowing full well they have no business going or doing what they are asking. Let him move on if this is a condition of staying with him or not. You WILL find someone who won't pressure you to do something you really aren't ready to do. When you finally decide to be with someone let it be when you are mentally physcally and emotionally ready. Thats when its beautiful as a memory not a memory you want to erase. Think with your heart and soul, unlike him.
2007-10-28 22:48:41 · answer #10 · answered by hope I can help 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you know he cares for you and would never pressure you into something you don't want to do. Tell him you're sorry but you're just not ready for sex. If he gets mad at you for being honest with him, or if he starts pressuring you in any way, then you know what he's really like and you'll know he really doesn't care about you. Then you can feel free to dump him to your heart's content. You don't want to be with someone who doesn't respect your decisions.
2007-10-28 22:40:33 · answer #11 · answered by Erin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋