I'm in college where meeting guys is usually a result of a drunken hookup. I met a guy and we've hooked up 3 times and talked online almost every day for a few weeks. The other night I told him and I liked him, and he said he liked me, except he doesn't want a relationship, so he hopes he didn't lead me on. I happen to know that he's not hooking up/ talking to anyone else. I'm not sure exactly why he wants to be single.
So should I 1) Just let things happen, and if I meet other guys go with that, or should I 2) Wait for him? Show him that I'm trustworthy and worthwhile, but at the same time give him the space he obviously wants?
2007-10-28 15:27:36 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What about a combination of 1 and 2? Don't mope around -- but don't write him off just yet. Go out with other guys and enjoy yourself. It's college! :)
2007-10-28 15:30:44 · answer #1 · answered by Mary B 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
1
2007-10-28 22:29:35 · answer #2 · answered by Atieno 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he's already said he doesn't want a relationship, you certainly shouldn't wait for him. He probably tells everybody that so that he can sleep freely with whoever he wants. The thing is, if you gave it up quickly, you can't expect him to see you differently or respect you cuz he figures the next guy who comes along will get the same thing from you. Unfortunately, just because you know he's not seeing anyone else, you shouldn't go reading into it that fact is anything that will effect how he treats you. Waiting for this guy will only disappoint you. You might want to slow it down some on the bedding if you want some guy to take you seriously...just a word to the wise. Good Luck.
2007-10-28 22:37:42 · answer #3 · answered by Mama Nuveau 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy was honest enough to tell you he does not want a relationship, and your information on him is consistent with what he said. Is it really necessary for you to analyze why he wants to be single?
How exactly would this "waiting" work? You don't date anyone, but he dates anyone he wants, and then you get mad because here you are passing up opportunities with other people while getting no emotional benefit from the situation? There is no point, and I do mean NO POINT, in waiting for someone to want only you when he has already made it clear that he does not. What does it prove, other than you are willing to commit to someone who has not committed to you?
If you want to date him casually, by all means go ahead. But date other people, too. And spend less time worrying about guys overall. You're paying good money to earn a degree, not to find a guy.
2007-10-28 22:43:27 · answer #4 · answered by nosleepthree 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
option 1 is definately appropriate. Don't ever let yourself be at a man's beck and call. He won't respect or desire anything that is too easy to get. Don't play super hard to get, but if he wants to stay casual and non-exclusive, do not accept every invitation he extends. Turn him down once in a while, something vague, like "I'm sorry I have plans". But then ask him to do something a couple of days later. this keeps things interesting and more exciting for him and lets you maintain an even position in "the dance that is romance"
2007-10-28 22:33:17 · answer #5 · answered by John M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont wait for him--he already told you he doesnt want a relationship regardless of what his reasons are. You should respect the fact that he was upfront with you rather than string you along. A lot of guys would not have done that. If things are meant to be, they will find a way down the road. But, chances are, there's something even better for you in your future. Never put your life on hold for a guy. Life's too short for that.
2007-10-28 22:31:48 · answer #6 · answered by Christine V 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
DONT WAIT FOR HIM THATS DUMB..HE WANTS TO BE SINGLE BECAUSE HE IS WAITING FOR SOMEONE BETTER TO COME AROUND AND WANTS TO KEEP HIS OPTIONS OPEN.YOUR NOT THE ONE FOR HIM OR HE WOULD WANT A RELATIONSHIP W/YOU.HE KNOWS THAT BY TELLING YOU THIS YOU WILL WAIT FOR HIM..HES ALREADY TRICKED YOU INTO THINKING HE HAS NO INTEREST IN OTHER WOMEN SO THAT HE CAN GO OFF AND HOOK UP W/WHOEVER HE WANTS AND YOU CAN STAY LOYAL TO HIM AND NOT TALK TO OTHER GUYS AND FEEL BAD IF YOU DO TALK TO SOMEONE ELSE.NEVER FEEL SORRY FOR A GUY ESPECIALLY SOMEONE WHOS TRYING TO PLAY YOU.IF HE WANT TO BE SINGLE THEN GIVE HIM HIS SPACE AND YOU HAVE YOUR SPACE ALSO TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT AND TALK TO WHOEVER YOU WANT.THE SPACE THING IS A GOOD THING FOR YOU THAT WAY YOU FIGURE OUT IF HES WORTH STILL HOOKING UP W/AND AT THE SAME TIME YOU CAN MEET AND TALK TO ANY GUY YOU WANT W/OUT HAVING TO EXPLAIN ANYTHING TO HIM SINCE HE HAS NO RIGHT AND ITS NOT HIS BUSINEESS ANYWAYS.WHO KNOWS MAYBE WHILE HE IS HAVING "HIS SPACE"YOU WILL MEET THAT GUY THAT ISNT A PLAYER AND READY TO GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT:)
GOOD LUCK AND HOPE I HELPED!
2007-10-28 22:45:59 · answer #7 · answered by cant take heat?get the f%&k out! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd suggest not seeing him anymore. You are after a long-term relationship, and he obviously isn't that into you. He was telling you the truth but came just shy of saying you're not the one. Gain some self-respect by leaving him at the curb. He's not the one for you.
2007-10-28 22:32:23 · answer #8 · answered by Serena 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's happy with what he's getting and chances are he won't want a relationship any time soon ("Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" seems to be a man-motto everywhere) so I would go with 1.
2007-10-28 22:31:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
#1
2007-10-28 22:31:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋