I have some friends and co-workers that I want to invite to our wedding ceremony (it's a big church) and then to the dancing part of the reception, but not the sit-down dinner. I hang out with them occassionally and have a good relationship so want them to be part of my day but are not as close as my family and friends that I've known for years - and of course there is the cost. Is that okay?
2007-10-28 15:02:53 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
No, I think it's usually an all-or-nothing thing. Weddings are expensive. You should think about who is considered a "friend" and who is just an "acquaintance." Acquaintances won't be expected to be invited; if they should ask, you could say, "Yes, the cost for the wedding is killing me; unfortunately we've had to whittle our guest list down from everyone we'd like to invite..." and leave it at that. You can't say, "Come for my wedding but not for supper."
2007-10-28 15:08:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
I think what ever you want is ok. I am doing something similar because of the cost as well. I am going to invite close family and friends to the wedding, dinner, and to the dance but then I will also be sending out invites to people to just come join us at the dance. I will just be wording the invite that we had a private ceremony earlier that day but would love to have them join us for the dance. I think this is the best way to do it because the people that I invite to the actual wedding and dinner will be just close family and friends. Everyone else can come help us celebrate later. I know people will be hungry at the dance as well so I close friend of mine that owns a my favorite pizza place is donating a bunch of pizza's for later at that night. You do what works for you. Don't worry about what other people think or want. GOOD LUCK!
2007-10-29 04:24:21 · answer #2 · answered by HMMMM 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hi and congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
I understand your question completely. We were thinking of doing the same thing for my sons' wedding. I posted this exact question to a wedding etiquette site. They answered and made me realize that this is totally unacceptable.
The reason being....it's like having 2 receptions. You are inviting EVERYONE to the ceremony; then SOME to the dinner AND dancing and others to just the dancing. Those invited to just the dancing feel they are "less than" or not equal to the others. Believe me, we really thought about this, but realized it CANNOT be done etiquette wise. It's like telling the second group they are not good enough. I know where you are coming from with the aspect that they are not your real good friends and, of course, the expense, but the bottom line is that this is not a good way to go etiquette wise.
Either cut your list to include EVERYONE, or simply do not invite those that you are not real close to.
Good luck!
2007-10-28 15:20:57 · answer #3 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 7⤊ 0⤋
To do all of that in one day.. is a bit busy...
I had my rehearsal the day before with the sit down dinner..
then the wedding and ceremony.. w/ the reception..
after the reception.. WE didn't no want to waste anymore time .. getting out of town... it would of been too late...
so think about this..
but too ans u..
Yes, it is not OK... U just have to put out the word prior that only family etc is invited as not to hurt ur co-workers feelings..
The cost can put a damper on everything..
It is ur day.. and U call the shots.. !!!
2007-10-28 15:31:49 · answer #4 · answered by ♥ Blondie ♥ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, that's terribly rude. The same people are to be invited to the ceremony, dinner and dance.
Just imagine this - you are having a get-together at your home for your family and friends in the afternoon - cocktails, appetizers, etc. Then at 5:00 you tell your friends they have to leave for a few hours so you can serve dinner, but they can come back at 8 for the rest of the party. Odd, eh??? That's similar to your odd idea for your wedding day.
2007-10-29 02:06:40 · answer #5 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be better not to have a sit down dinner at all if the budget is tight. You don't need a catered dinner to have a nice wedding and reception. Make is a afternoon wedding and only serve cake and punch with the dancing and maybe some nuts and candies or bagels and cream cheese so people don't starve but you don't need to pay by the head.
2007-10-28 16:22:05 · answer #6 · answered by shipwreck 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think this would be ok.
What do you tell them when the time comes? ... that they cannot come to the dinner?
What if these friends bring you gifts to the wedding? .. then go the dance reception .. then they are not allowed to proceed with the rest of the wedding party? Not a good picture.
Another thought ... what if your friends find out about this dinner at another time? .. what would they think & feel?
I think this is a good way to hurt people's feelings .. and to lose friends.
I understand your problem with the cost .. and that you want them to share your special day .. but you need to include them all the way .. or take the chance of causing big friend problems.
Best wishes to you on your special day !
2007-10-28 15:45:25 · answer #7 · answered by Tara 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Either invite them to everything, or invite them to nothing. Yes it is costly to feed everyone, but just imagine how they would feel if they were told to come back in a couple of hours after the ceremony for dancing!! It would seem a little rude!
2007-10-28 15:45:13 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well you can't get more tacky than that. You can invite them to the reception, sit down dinner and all or you do not invite them at all. To make such a distinction, to make some people "second class guests" is terrible. Make up your mind and go one way or the other, anything else would be the worst case of wedding bad manners I have ever heard of from anyone. Don't do this.
2007-10-28 15:20:03 · answer #9 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 6⤊ 1⤋
I would be insulted. Either invite me to the wedding, the reception, or both but not 1/2 of the reception.
2007-10-28 16:46:27 · answer #10 · answered by Asked and Answered 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋