I just found this out by snooping in his things. I know that what I did is wrong since it is a breach of his privacy. But what he is doing is wrong and has to stop, so how do I deal with this without me divulging the snooping. I feel that there is something wrong with our relationship for why would he be into it.
2007-10-28 15:00:29 · 15 answers · asked by Director 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know some people will think I'm crazy, but I honestly believe that looking at porn is immoral and that when you are in a relationship it constitutes as cheeting. I think it's cheeting because what you're doing is fantasizing about someone who is not your significant other. It's basically the same as actually having sex with another person.
So, to answer simply and as truthfully as I may, break up with him. If you want to salvage the relationship confront him and let him know it has to stop and tell him how it makes you feel. If he sneaks or flat out refuses, dump him.
Getting off to porn while he's with you shows that he clearly does not respect you and that what the two of you have together isn't good enough for him.
2007-10-28 15:11:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Quick question for you: do you read romance novels? I mean the ones with the detailed descriptions of sex? If you do, then you are a hypocrite. For the average man, those kind of magazines and videos are safe, harmless ways of exploring fantasy. Just as those books would be the same for you. Men are stimulated more by visuals, which is why porn is such a popular medium for them. Women are stimulated more by emotion, which is why the books work for us. It is only when an obsession for fantasy takes the forerunner to reality that it becomes a problem. I do agree that it was wrong for him to hide it from you. But perhaps he's embarrassed or shy about revealing his fantasies to you. You were more in the wrong by snooping. I would suggest that you either drop it or broach a conversation on neutral ground. Talk about what you like and why. Perhaps start a conversation about porn and have a discussion about your feelings about it. Do not go about this in an attacking fashion and do not put down people for enjoying this form of fantasy. At least wait it out until you hear how he really feels. Remember, just because a man has a fantasy life separate from you does not mean there's something wrong with your relationship. Fantasy is just that... fantasy.
2007-10-28 15:18:05 · answer #2 · answered by Erin 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
NEWS FLASH.....ALOT of men are into porn of some kind. Some prefer videos some prefer magazines. I dont have an actual statistic but Im willing to bet that more than half of men look at porn. Im sorry to burst your bubble but its next to impossible for a woman to satisfy every single sexual need there man has. It would almost be unfair for us to expect that from women. So to satisfy our need men go to porn. Believe me he probably doesnt prefer a porn star over you and he probably isnt obsessive over it. It is just a tool to satisfy a constant and very primitive need. Nothing is wrong with your relationship he still likes you and it doesnt mean hes unsatisfied sexually. Its normal for guys to look at porn and you shouldnt feel too threatened by it. Its not something that can replace the real thing........
2007-10-28 15:15:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all, looking at porn or porn videos, is perfectly natural, so you need not listen to the teeny bopper prudes who think this is wrong or "cheating". My wife and i sometimes look at them together. I am curious only as to why you would ever think this is wrong. There is no proof or inclination that he is cheating or seeking anything elsewhere. And even more benevolently he could be getting ideas.
2007-10-28 15:13:06 · answer #4 · answered by jcameron1683 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just buy him a porn magazine and say " l thought you might like this since you're into porn so much." Or tell him "my friend at work wants to borrow some of that asian porn you have hidden in that box." After being busted like that, he'll get rid of it.
2007-10-28 15:12:35 · answer #5 · answered by Schueyjr 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
something is wrong in your relationship if you have to snoop thru his things.... why don't you guys take a break? then you can evaluate the reasons why you do the things you do and what type of behaviour you "expect" from the man in your life.
2007-10-28 15:04:46 · answer #6 · answered by Lupita 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he isnt into porn because he doesnt like you, hes into porn because men will always want what the dont have. all humans will, actualy. and because you arent a sIut or anything like the women in those magazines and because you arent half plastic like they are, he will always find a way to stare at them while he pleasures himself...but if he dated a girl like that, he would probably be drooling over pictures of you doing the laundry or something while hes locked in the bathroom...you shouldnt make that big of a deal over it. you can be upset if you want, but you dont have to ruin your whole relationship over it.
2007-10-28 15:06:15 · answer #7 · answered by Evan 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Let him keep the mags. You get your mags I bet. Plus looking at porn mags could give ideas how to keep the romance in the bedroom alive.
2014-11-04 18:39:34 · answer #8 · answered by supergreenkid 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, ask him about such things but without telling him that you got to his belongings. If he lies, then admit what you did but in a pleasant way and ask him to change that attitude of his. If you ask though, let him finish first coz there might be other reasons such as those mags not being his.
2007-10-28 15:05:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
leave it alone. it isn't hurting you, until you saw it. and I'm guessing that most of the guys you know will have a few of them. it's very common, and it doesn't mean anything about your relationship, or that you aren't "satisfying" him. he just likes to look at porn. I'm female, and to tell you the truth, so do I.
2007-10-28 15:05:41 · answer #10 · answered by freespirit 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋