Need some serious advice about DATING and RELIGION!!!!!!?

Question

Ok... I like this guy and he likes me. And ever since we've met we've basically been inseparable. However he always seemed like he never wanted to make "that move" you know. So when I asked him he told me flat out that we couldn't be together because he only believes in dating to get married and we couldn't get married (hypothetically) because his religion doesn't allow him to marry outside of it or they'll basically disown him. So after he tells me this he still is really acting like he wants to be with me. Of course I'm not going to deal with the heartache of falling even more for him, so I told him that we needed to spend some time apart so I could try to get over it. So he didn't really take this well and everytime I saw him afterwards he looked heartbroken. Now he treats me so weird and it's like he trying to drive me away. He even told me that he want's to make this easier for me. What should I do? And I'm not converting because I'm grounded in the Christian faith.

Answer 1

you should have your own convictions as a believer. You also are directed not to marry with those outside of the faith, so stop trying to stumble yourself. See this as God's way out from temptation... and walk away. There are other people you can be friends with and another man that God has in mind for you.

Answer 2

If you cannot convert, but are willing to still pursue a relationship with him, then all you need is for him to want to pursue a relationship with you. Unfortunately, since his religion apparently does not allow him to fraternize with other religion's women, then you may not have much of a chance. It looks as if the only way you could ever be together is if he decided that he could deal with being an outcast in his religion by being with you. It also seems as though you cannot continue a simply friendly relationship because of the fact that your feelings are too strong. It seems like it is really jyst an all or nothing gamble. If you are both willing to take that big chance on a relationship, then you should go for. However there do seem to be some major roadblocks, especially concerning your religions.

Answer 3

Well I don't know what country you're in, or what 'religions' you have come across. But I'm a Christian - I class myself as a follower of Jesus rather than any specific denomination. I am very anti death penalty. I'm open-minded about reincarnation of those who are unbelievers (there are many Christian reincarnationists) .I believe that abortion is murder but occasionally it may be the least bad option. If people made better choices before conception, it would not be such a major issue (cases of rape are very low numbers and a very specific instance). I certainly celebrate Christmas and am sure that blood transfusions, when necessary, often save lives. I also believe that marriage should be a life-long commitment between a man and a woman who are committed to each other forever, with sexual intimacy being reserved for marriage. However, all those ideals are, I believe, God's best blueprint for humanity. That's not to say that we must all rigidly follow them all the time, and we certainly should not judge those who are not followers of Jesus. Of course people should date whoever they wish. If they become Christian believers, then God may deal with moral issues - whether heterosexual or homosexual - or may not. There are many gay Christians and God loves them just as much as anyone else. Perhaps the ideal is for them to be celebate all their lives - I don't pretend to have all the answers. But I'm happy to leave other people in God's hands. It's hard enough to live my own life in accordance with what I believe Jesus wants me to do, so I'm certainly not going to judge other people in different circumstances.

Answer 4

this is a hard situation with the christian religion, especially when ones not converted, but if u really loved him, you would do anything to be with him, inlcuding becoming a christian, but its ur decision on how u want everything to work out...converting into one is the only thing i can think of since he cant leave his religion unless his family will disown him and u cant do anything about it....y dont u give it a try? you're faith is going to be more stronger and u'll find urself in a better life, well in my opinion anyway...think about it

Answer 5

You're not willing to convert to his religion, and he's not willing to overlook his traditions to be with you. Looks like you have your answer. It won't work. There's no reason to hold on, because if he really wanted to be with you there would be nothing stopping him. Remember this, people always do what they want.
Don't compromise or settle! God is faithful, and He has a great man out there for you who will love you like Christ loved the church.

Answer 6

It's always hard when someone is really into his religion. But I really think you shouldn't mix religion and love. It might complicate things, but if he likes you enough, he's going to learn that he's going to accept that you guys are different. And it'll end up working out once you both just accept that that's the way it's going to be. You shouldn't convert for him. He'll come to you when he realizes the religion thing isn't as important as your relationship.

Answer 7

music..., I'm kinda stuck in the same rut. There's this gal from New York (I'm from South Dakota) I met her online and she told me that her parents won't even "acknowledge" a guy she brings home unless he's a doctor, lawyer, etc. She's also Hindu, I'm not. We'll probably never meet cuz the distance-thing. All I say to you is, if you really like him, let nothing get in your way. I know---easy for me to say. Well, good luck!!!

Answer 8

well first of all, any religion that threatens to disown somebody is not a good religion. the bible does say that you should be "similarly yolked" meaning of the same faith, but it doesn't disallow people from being together if they love each other. My advice to you is get into the bible together, and see what happens. you have to have love on 3 levels, body, soul, and spirit to be fully satisfied.

Answer 9

Stick to your beliefs. I mean its more than obvious that he is. So no need to go about changing who you are for him or even worrying about him being hurt. I do however think you both should have done alot more talking before even dating. Because that way neither of you would have gotten too deep into things and neither of you would have gotten so hurt. Hopefully this is a lesson to you about guys and beliefs and communication in the future.

Answer 10

Religion is a tough thing to work around when dating. Im not to sure what to say. If he can't date you because of his religion, then just try to move on. Good Luck.