Do you think it is ok for a 20 year old date a 30 year old man?

Question

who has 2 daughters who are 4 and 6 years old? Him and the mother are divorced but hes dated 2 other since then

i am very mature for my age in a couple months i will have a career as a massage therapist, i have been around step bros and sis. i know what divorce is like on kids cause my parents were. i have a 5 year old brother who i help take care of. the kids are not and issue to me i love kids. i want someone who is settled.

Answer 1

I think it depends on the maturity level of both individuals. There are a lot of 20 year old women who are very mature and a lot of 30 year old men who aren't mature at all. I don't think the age should be an issue if they are both mature enough for the relationship.

Answer 2

Well I was 23 when I married my husband who was 39 at the time. And it couldn't be more wonderful. As I posted in an earlier question..I have an ex who was my same age and is an alcoholic and a horrible father.. Not saying all men that age are that way but in my experience older men are more mature and responsible. My husbands daughter is only 6 yrs younger than me so she was already grown but I would have loved it if he had little daughters :) My husband cares for me and for my son from a previous marriage like he is his own. So if he treats you right and makes you happy I say go for it. Most of the people that I know that have married someone older are still happily married!!!

Answer 3

For one I think you should think about if its ok for YOU. I mean at 20 you are still very young and this man is an adult with a divorce under his belt and 2 young children and a ex -wife. For some, they would consider that baggage, but I like to consider that a serious life before he has met you. You have to think if you capable of handling his two small children. Probably being their stepmother one day. How you would manage to be civil to the possibly older ex-wife. I mean you really need to think about if you are capable of handling him probably getting serious or pushing you away if things get too bad for his kids. Do you think you are ready to help raise to young children? Playing with them, tucking them in? Because really I don't think it would be advisable to get involved with someone if you can't make those types of decisions. Besides that if this guy is just 30 years old with two kids, that means he could have been very young when he had them with his wife. So that could also tell you how serious he can fall for women. And depending where he is in life and what his marriage has taught him about women, could be a big determining factor as well. I mean he could be out for fun, or he could be looking for another type of woman to bea new mom to his kids or something. You both really should talk about your expectations and if either of you can really handle what may come from your relationship. You just can't dive into something like this and go into it lightly. Think long and hard too, because your choice might effect the rest of your life.

Answer 4

It depends on the maturity of the 20 year old. Who has custody of the kids--him or his ex-wife? I'd be careful if he does....he may be looking for a mom for his kids instead of a wife. I actually knew a 21 year old girl that married a 30 year old guy, but he was single, no children, and they have children and are getting along fine--have been married 4 years.

Answer 5

Its ok but it rarely lasts especially when there are small children involved. My cousin married a man who is older than her own father. They have been together for a long time but now that he is getting older and she is 35 they are getting divorced because he is now retired and does not want to help her with their children. She has to go to work and then come home to care for the kids and cook and everything else. He just wants to sit around on his retired butt.

Answer 6

i have to say i am torn, on the one hand, i doubt a 20 year could handle that complex of a relationship. on the other hand, i think it is wrong to judge a guy just cause he is 30, divorced, and has kids. there is nothing wrong with that. my friend is 21 and is divorced with a child. i think age isn't the issue here. its maturity levels. if you think you can honestly handle a relationship like that, then i would go for it. but in my experience most females at that age really cant handle something like that.

Answer 7

That's a pretty big gap, and I doubt they have a long-term future, but if they are both happy for the moment... as long as the kids aren't getting jerked around. The kids shouldn't be brought around this new person if there is no chance that this is going to be a long-term relationship.

Answer 8

It's ok but the 20 year needs to know that life has sooo much more, shes just a baby her self,I was a young mother,and in that time I had to do what I had to do, she don't and at 20 it is a plenty more men awaiting her....Trust That....Mother of (8)...P.G.

Answer 9

I don't see why not. As you become older, age is much less of an issue. If he was like 40 I might question motives and longevity, but in this case, I see no problem.

Are you ready to be insta-mom though? This is a big undertaking. Sometimes, I don't deal well with my OWN children, let alone someone else's. Just keep this in mind.

Answer 10

Well, it kinda depends on the people. But, since he has two kids, you really need to think about that. Because kids are a huge responsibility, and do you want to do that at 20, for someone else's kids?