I am a radio personality in NYC and a single mom of a 10 month old girl. I'm pretty, funny, smart and to be honest, rich, so why can't I meet a nice guy to love me and my daughter?
2007-10-28 13:21:31 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've been without this man or any man since her conception, so don't you think it's ok for me to want companionship? Of course my daughter comes first! Stop judging before you know the whole story!
2007-10-28 13:27:03 · update #1
By the way, her father is long gone and already wrote her off. He wanted no part of her then, nor now.
2007-10-28 13:28:12 · update #2
And i don't need any man's money...I do very well on my own. It's not about support or money, it's about love and companionship.
2007-10-28 13:29:32 · update #3
All good responses...I hope I haven't come off sounding like a ***** because I truly am not a *****. I've worked long and hard for the career that I have now and although my daughter was an "oops", I wouldn't give her up for all the money or men in the entire world! I have dates here and there, but as soon as they hear I have a baby, I never hear from them again. Maybe I attract the wrong type of guy. There has been one guy that was wonderful, but not interested in getting serious right now. Too bad. I have a few great friends that help me out with babysitting and of course, friendship. My family live in FL and I hardly see them because of work/distance. So, now what? Well, just keep doing what I'm doing I guess.
2007-10-28 15:10:35 · update #4
My guess would be most men see it as a burden. You can't go out on the town and party because you have a child at home. That and there is the stereo type that your looking for a Daddy for your baby. Also, lord I feel like I'm bashing my gender, most guys know your not looking for a quicky relationship or a one nighter. I find I run into this situation with a lot of my friends. The, I ain't dating a woman has kids. Not looking for a instant family. I am a single Dad, granted my daughter lives with her Mom, and is with me every other weekend. However, when most women hear "I have a kid" they turn off and walk away. If I lived in NYC I'd go out with you:D and not because your rich
2007-10-28 13:30:27 · answer #1 · answered by enyeto1973 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 6 year old boy and I have had more guys interested in me since I had my son than before. I have a boyfriend. I also know several otherguys here in my city that ask me out when they see me and my son out and I always say no. My boyfriend plays with my son and they have a great relationship. Make sure that whoever you date is interested in your daughter as well as you. You are not used goods and you deserve to date and there are plenty of guys who love children and would greatly appreciate dating you and later on be a new family if you want to. Don't listen to those lying negative voices that are telling you otherwise. I think you should say out loud every day Thanks God for the companion you have for me. If you hope to marry say thanks God for the good husband who will love me very much that you have for me. God loves you so much that he made your biggest oops into your biggest blessing. He turned your darkest hour into your brightest hour. If you know how much God loves you then you know his timing is perfect and no matter what he always has a plan for you to be blessed. In the bible it says that God makes the lonely to be in a family. Although there alot of counterfeits that may come your way saying you are now not as good because you have a child this is just a redundant negative spiritual voice lying to you. When you stand up in your knowledge of this and trust God to meet your hearts desire ,this power will no longer have any hope of stopping you from having what God would give you. The real thing will come your way . You are actually a better package with your beautiful daughter in many ways than you were alone. Your heart has been blessed when you had your daughter. Being a mother is a beautiful blessing. It will take an insightful man to recognize this. A man who has true love and is not a selfish fearful child. A real man who appreciates life and love and is not afraid to give. You don't need those poor other guys who say you are not as valuable now. God has someone better for you. Now also I don't think it is wrong to find places to go that might possibly be a place where you meet more people and possibly a man for you. If you go to work and then go home that is not as much opportunity to meet someone. You could meet someone at a gym or at an art class or at a volunteer work or whatever you are interested in.
2007-10-28 13:32:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of men probably aren't willing to make a commitment to a girlfriend with a child. I think a lot of others are turned off by the fact that if the relationship gets serious he'll be helping to raise someone else's child instead of his own. At least when you find the right guy you'll know because none of that will matter to him except being with you.
2007-10-28 13:26:37 · answer #3 · answered by xzorion54 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most guys are probably intimidated by you to start because of all the "good" things you described about yourself. Being smart, attractive, and rich can be intimidating to any guy who feels he isnt all of those as well. Throwing in a little girl when they need to become an "instant father-figure" can become too much for some guys. Keep looking.... or move... ;)
2007-10-28 13:28:38 · answer #4 · answered by sports0705 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me give you an honest answer. Relationships are hard enough for guys because they have to adjust so much. There are so many things that are unnatural for guys like communication. Relationships require A LOT of work. When there are kids involved, that makes it infinitely more complicated.
There are some guys who just are in it for sex. So their strategy is to use your kids to soften you up. I don't know if that works for you or not, but I'm telling you that's the way it is.
Single parenting is so widespread, but there are consequences to it.
2007-10-29 05:08:42 · answer #5 · answered by Dr D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, as someone who dated a woman with a child i can tell you that its more difficult to have a relationship with someone who has a child. here are some reasons.
* this person is more likely to be looking for a serious relationship. if a guy is not looking for something serious this could discourage them.
* a child means more responsibility. some guys are not ready for this.
*a child means your boyfriend will not be the center of attention. you child will always come first (and she should)
*if you get attached to the child and things don't work out, you don't loose one relationship. you loose two. its twice the heart break. (this is the reason why i would think twice about dating someone with a child. it was tough. i missed her son more than i missed her.
Maybe its not your child... maybe its that they are intimidate by you. you sound successful/well known and some guys cannot handle that.
2007-10-28 13:40:06 · answer #6 · answered by viper_ej 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't look so hard. I'm a single mom w/ 3 boys. I've had no problem getting dates. You don't want to find someone to love you and your daughter. You need someone to love you and accept your daughter. Obviously you'd want them to care about her too, but that comes in time. She should have nothing to do with your dating right now. Don't go out looking for a father. I've dated guys who said they weren't ready to be daddy and I told them, my kids have a dad. I'm not looking for a dad for them. I'm just trying to date. Maybe you're just going about it the wrong way.
2007-10-28 13:27:37 · answer #7 · answered by BoredinVA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard because you obviously put your daughter first as you should !!! But you have to make a little extra space in your more than busy life for that right guy. We are also scared of a women with kids i think we feel your child will tie us down. If you meet the right guy ,a mature man he will realize that they don't,your child adds to the quality of our lives. So keep your chin up ,keep lookin he could be right in front of you!!!!!!!!
2007-10-28 13:38:38 · answer #8 · answered by kind 1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The honest reason for this? It is because men are afraid of becoming your next child support victim, even through it is not his child.
The laws are set up this way to make such things possible, and men who are smart do not want to fall for this trap and stay far, far away.
In short, it is out of fear and financial self preservation.
I am sorry to put it so bluntly, but this is the way it is.
2007-10-28 13:27:54 · answer #9 · answered by PeguinBackPacker 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have dated women with kids.
Not really fun because you can't take them out on the town when you want to.
The kid isn't fun because they are too young to do anything with.
I am also afraid of causing harm to the child.
Add that to it being someone else's biological offspring, and that's causes a big dating nightmare right there.
2007-10-28 13:29:08 · answer #10 · answered by Doesntstayinvegas.com 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋