Things Not To Say To A Police Officer
I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
That uniform makes your butt look really big.
You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops.
I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket.
Hey, you must have been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me!
Good job! I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
Bad Cop! No Donut!
Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
When you smack the crap out of me, make sure you smile pretty for the camcorder.
I pay your salary!
Gee, thanks officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning too.
Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around, that's how far they are ahead of me.
2007-10-28 12:33:06 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Sorry, I can't hear you over the radio. No, I am not turning it down. I love this song.
Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
Yes Mr. Budweiser, I haven't had any officers tonight.
When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer, your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
2007-10-28 12:33:53 · update #1
Hey, you must have been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me!
Bad Cop! No Donut!
I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around, that's how far they are ahead of me.
those are my favs. that made me laugh, thanx!
2007-10-28 13:41:34 · answer #1 · answered by pomeranianlvr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that was really funny! although I am not sure what the question was..... My friend has a shirt that says ticket for speeding? "what a relief I thought you knew my license expired"+ "hurry up and write the darn ticket the bars close in 30 minutes" along with my fav "If I buy you donuts will you let me off with a warning?" oh and "I smell bacon"
2007-10-28 12:43:10 · answer #2 · answered by nellie3300 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a police offier will say in response - "Sign here next to the X and press hard!!!" "Here the yellow copy is yours!"
Partner - "What did the driver say?"
"I don't know, I never listen, its always the same, blah blah blah!!"
2007-10-28 12:39:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes officer the license is correct, I'm Osama bin Laden and the bomb in my car is set to blow when you finish reading me my righ--
2007-10-28 18:36:09 · answer #4 · answered by David 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good ones! Funny! 100!
2007-10-28 12:51:28 · answer #5 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A few more.
How could I be driving drunk whem I'm in the back seat?
If I'm legally drunk, what's the problem?
I don't look like my license as I've had a sex change operation
2007-10-28 12:42:58 · answer #6 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I'm pregnant, the officer is look at a guy
Or ask the officer "Where is a good place to buy pot ?"
2007-10-28 12:37:28 · answer #7 · answered by sparkles 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Sorry officer no donuts and coffee in this car, try that person over there.
2007-10-28 12:39:13 · answer #8 · answered by bluesue 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
This boy I went to church camp with made a list of ways to make a cop mad. Here are my favs of what he wrote:
Ask him if you can use his pepper spray on your mashed potatoes.
Pick your nose and wipe it on his shirt.
Ask him to turn on the siren.
2007-10-28 12:37:43 · answer #9 · answered by Smartie_Pants 5 · 8⤊ 0⤋
This has been making the rounds but it's always fun to read again.
2007-10-28 12:36:27 · answer #10 · answered by Buzzy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋