He cheated on me 5 months ago. We are still trying to get passed it. I keep thinking that if he goes to boot camp or wherever he's going, that he will cheat on me again. Should I be worried? What is it like? Is it likely that he will interact with women a lot? Is there a chance that he could actually hook up with someone? He keeps telling me I have nothing to worry about. Please help me. Serious answers please...
2007-10-28 12:10:34 · 13 answers · asked by Damon ♥ Elena 6 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
He has almost zero chance of cheating on you in basic.
If you want your marriage to work, you have to trust him. After basic he can cheat on you just as if he hadn't joined. Can this be a way of him trying to change his life? Give him a chance.
2007-10-28 13:12:58 · answer #1 · answered by Diane 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well being a veteran of the Army,myself most boot camps today are coed in that they train together but they do not share the same barracks but they attend schooling n training as well n there isn't a thing that can be done about that ok n if you think he is going to cheat while in boob camp trust me for the first five to six weeks he is not going to have the time to think about that he is better worry about getting thorough boot camp,but after week seven they do get time to spend on base away from the barracks so he will run into girls than but he can not go off base and there is also a curfew as well.
I do not know what to tell u on the cheating part but as his wife once he is out of boot camp n the school he will be taking u can go with him to his next duty station because u r his wife if u want too with the exception of if he gets sent to Iraq,than u can not go than listen there r women every where this is something u-r- going to have to deal with n lay it on the line with him about ur reservations about him going to the Guard n his cheating that is the only way u can get a handle on this n if u still have a problem with it that guess what and I am being serious u have a problem n once in the military u will drive ur self nuts wondering if he is cheating so do something now to put ur mind at ease if u can n good luck I truly mean that ok.
2007-10-28 12:52:22 · answer #2 · answered by Dark Shadows 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He won't interact with women a lot. Some basic training areas still are male only. The advanced training part also depends on what job he goes for. The infantry and certain combat MOS's don't have females still, but most others will. If trust is an issue you should probably see a marriage counselor.
2007-10-28 12:16:03 · answer #3 · answered by Jason H 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being in the Guard or not if he still wants to cheat on you he will, though I am sorry he has before cheated, I only hope he doesnt do it again, I have seen way too many of my friend's marriages fall apart due to cheating..
I think if there are still issues of him cheating maybe you need to work that out before he joins the Guard.
Where I went to BCT we had males in our PLT and even had tasks we had to do with them, your learning to work as a team, in AIT things are much different.
You decided to stay for your reasons, I am not here to judge you nor should anyone else , but if you feel this way now and cant get passed it and he hasnt left for BCT what will happen when he deploys?
Sorry for your pain,
Armywife& Soldier
2007-10-29 09:24:48 · answer #4 · answered by Justice35 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex was in the National Guard in the 60's. The guys can get a pass & go into town or go to the nearby watering hole. (bar) I'm wondering why your husband wants to join the NG when he has business at home to take care of. (his marriage) My ex cheated on me long after he was in the NG & because I could never get passed it, so I asked for a divorce. (He lied to me about not having contact with the girl) Once a spouse cheats, the trust is destroyed & getting it back is next to impossible. Your husband should stay home & work hard to earn your trust. I never trusted my ex ever again & it's not a happy way to live, when you worry about being cheated on again each time he walks out the door. I used to make myself sick wondering what he was up to. We are only human. I couldn't forgive my ex for the pain he caused me & for what it did to my sons, who were teenagers at the time. Please don't think that you owe it to him to stay with him if he can't be trusted & isn't doing all that he can to get you to trust him. I stayed with my ex far too long & never was able to trust him again. So, in the end, I pulled the plug after 38 years. Life is for living & don't waste it worrying & wondering. Someone out there will love you & won't cheat, because he will love you deeply. I found such a man & we're engaged now.
2007-10-28 12:41:13 · answer #5 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He will be way too tired to cheat on you while in boot camp. He may see women a little bit, but its in a controlled situation. He cheated on you as a civilian, if he is going to cheat, he will cheat and it doesn't matter whether he is enlisted or not. You have trust issues that you need to work on, or just end the marriage.
2007-10-28 12:15:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just this question alone shows you two still have issues. You don't indicate your age or how long you have been married or whether you have children. Work stress, family stress and social life are all issues. First why the NG, this is only a temp seperation unless he gets deployed. A little extreme to have an affair. Going active duty would concern me more. This would indicate the start of a new life.
2007-10-28 19:10:15 · answer #7 · answered by army_retired91 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cheating on you has nothing to do with joining the Guard.
If he's going to cheat, he'll do it no matter where he is.
A relationship without trust it nothing. You need to fix that before you do anything.
Whether he cheats while he's gone or not, chances are you are looking at a divorce in your future if you don't settle the trust issue.
2007-10-28 12:35:19 · answer #8 · answered by time_wounds_all_heelz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's going to cheat on you, he's going to cheat on you.
BUT... he ain't gunna have half a chance in Basic Combat Training....
Don't involve the Military with potential problems in your marriage. People are people.... even in the Military.
Warm regards,
Douglas
2007-10-28 12:30:12 · answer #9 · answered by prancinglion 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
whether or not he enlists has SQUAT to do with whether or not you can trust him. If he is going to cheat, he will do it no matter where he is, whether that is Basic training, or at the local bar.
You either trust him, or you don't. If you don't, your marriage is doomed even if he never enlists or never cheats again.
2007-10-28 12:21:18 · answer #10 · answered by Mrsjvb 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋