Ladies, please help me understand the lady I'm dating, OK?

Question

She tells me that I am going too fast when I tell her how special she is to me. I haven't said 1/1000th of what I am feeling for her. I haven't told her that I love her...yet, but I am showing her by my actions.She says I need to give her more time. Yet, she makes out with me and will kiss and cuddle for hours, sitting on my lap, laying her head on my chest and holding me close and tight. She tells ME how special I make her feel and how special I am to HER. I cannot reconcile her words with her actions. Her words tell me she is emotionally distant and cautious AND into me. Her body tells me that she is close and VERY into our relationship. We met and started dating 2 months ago and started dating exclusively 1 month ago. I have no problem taking time, but she confuses the HELL out of me. We are both 50. Maybe a woman can translate what is happening for me here. She has never married and I have been divorced for seven years. We are both committed to celibacy until marriage. Thank you.

She IS a virgin. The reason she never married is that she has a career in advertising. She also had a horrible head injury which left her incapacitated for many years. She had to go through rehabilitation to regain her memory and her functionality. She is not afraid of commitment. She tells me that she feels like she hit the jackpot by finding me. We share so much in common, our love of the Arts and our religion. We talk together easily and she likes that I am considerate and thoughtful and selfless. I actually listen to her too. The rot sets in when I tell her that my feelings for her are reciprocated.
I know two months is not a long time, but, for crying out loud, why the mixed messages?

I know, I know, I just have to be patient.
By the way, my marriage of 21 years ended when my wife lost her mind in some sort of weird menopausal schizophrenic thing. She is incognito. Our son, age 26 and married, does not know where his Mom is.

Thanks for your kind input!
Alan

Answer 1

Maybe she is being curious like she does not want to get hurt so she keeps her distance a little. By the sounds of things she more then likely loves you too just wants to take things slower its OK just go with the flow don't push her slow down on your words a little and she will come around just give her space if she is asking for it.

Answer 2

I'm a girl and I'm STILL confused by her actions....I dont know what's going on. Maybe she doesn't want to KNOW you love her, that way if it doesn't work out, she's not hurt as much. But she obviously loves you...I think she's just telling herself otherwise so she doesn't get hurt. I would just be upfront. Tell her you love her, regardless of whether or not your relationship goes to the next level or not. If the relationship remains stagnant, you'll still love her, right? So might as well tell her. There's nothing she can do to change it...Just be sure to let her know you're aware she's not ready to quicken things up, and you're okay with that.

Answer 3

What are you waiting for? If you are both committed to celibacy before marriage and you want things to move faster, show her by your words how you feel. Women are very auditory and love to hear a man express his feelings. Once she knows you love her, propose, and get married! I am in my 40s, and I know people my age and beyond feel their mortality. Ask her to wed and be happy! Don't let something go that's so special.

Answer 4

You need to have a serious discussion with her. Maybe she is afraid of making a commitment. It is unusual for a woman to be single at the age of 50. She could have some problems because of something in her past.

Answer 5

,She could be afraid of telling someone first that she loves them. Maybe, in the past she had her heart really broken. Try telling her by words, or a special greeting card that you love her, and see how she reacts. Does she tell you back? Maybe, in time if she doesn't tell you, then you just need to sit down with her and have a heart to heart talk with her.

Answer 6

sounds like she is just going through a time of uncertianty
She dosent know whats rgiht or wrong in the world. Symptoms of low self asteam, losing intrest in figure, less cudling and kissing through a period of time. Usually occurs after a break-up af a long relationship or after a fight woth a spouse or a talk with friends who have a succesful marraige and tlak about it in font of her. she jus needs a tad bit more space, if she comes to you she needs comfort. make her belive you are the one for her, the one who is always there for her. Give her compliments when she looks horrible and give her lots of love. <3

Sorry for such a long awnser

Answer 7

She seems to be maybe a little insecure and probably wants to be sure you are not going to leave her once she does say she loves you. If she has never been married then this is a big step. Give her time, it has not been that long.

Answer 8

Maybe she is afraid.If she has never been married then maybe she has been hurt too many times and she's taking it slow.It seems from what your saying she really likes you but give her a little time and she'll come around. Good luck to you and I hope all works out.

Answer 9

shes been hurt so many times she wants to be sure u are the guy for her show her u are going to be there for her if u really love her ask her to marry u.. and tell her all what u feel... tell her ull wait for her... that what u feel is real and it doesnt matter how much u have to wait for her... well good luck with that

Answer 10

very interesting alan, perhaps she is just feeling overwhelmed and scared by the intensity of her own feelings for you. either way, you should listen to her words. people often let their emotions (and libido) get the best of them in intense situations. continue to show her affection, but don't profess undying love and devotion just yet.