What do I do about my mom?

Question

She's so hard on me. She literally thinks that everything I do is wrong and she's even said it to my face before. She favouritizes my sister and will always side with her in an arguement. I'm never good enough for her and she's always telling me that I should love her for everything she's done for me but all I can ever remember is the mean things she's done to me. She barely lets me hang out with my friends and never lets me go to sleepovers. She never lets me buy new stuff and always says I don't need it even if she had just bought my sister the same thing when she needed it less than I did. She expects me to live the way she did in the 60s and she's more stubborn than a mule and extremely opinionated. She always makes me feel horrible and stupid. And if I don't bother her at all, she says that I don't spend enough time with the family even though she just yells at me when I do. My dad goes by my mom's rules and my sister doesn't care or understand because she's mom's favourite. Help

I don't want to have this kind or relationship with my mom but nothing I say or do works. What should I do??
please help. And please don't tell me it's because she loves me or that I'm jeleous of my sister because I love my sister alot and My mom has told me before that most of the stuff she does to me is because she feels like it and she rarely has a good reason for saying no.She just ruins my life!! I really hate her!!

Answer 1

Give her a hug and tell her you love her..

Your mom cares about you!

Answer 2

Okay, first things first. Are you absolutely certain she is ALWAYS like this, because you made a lot of claims in that paragraph. But if this is really the case...

You need to have a sit down with yo momma. Sure, you should respect her for raising you and giving you a house and food (which seems to be the only things she's giving you), but you have to admit, how long can she act so biased till your respect wears thin? You need to brace yourself, release any fear you have of her, and confront her; tell her the truth straight up. You also need to let your dad and sister know how you feel, as it seems they both live by your mother's word as if it's law (which, it is not when she abuses it). Refuse to live like this any longer! If your mother takes this confrontation badly and stubbornly refuses to see the truth, then you know for sure that she deserves none of your respect, appreciate or love... no matter how much she insists she deserves it.

As for her favoring your sis over you, try to do well and struve to excel in everything, from your grades, sports, or other hobbies -- prove her wrong! If you can do nothing about your family, then just keep working as hard as you can to make your future GREAT. Ignore her insulting comments and favoritism for as long as it takes for you to get out of the house and move on to a happier life... only YOU can prove that you are just as good as your sister, or even better! That way, even if you mother doesn't eventually see the error of her ways, you can have a successful life and career that anyone, including your mother and sister, can see.

Answer 3

When you are all together, you, your mom,dad,sister and she has just bought something for your sister ask her if you can buy it also. If she says no come right out and ask why does she favor your sister over her ,why is whatever you do not good enough and ask your dad why she is so hard on you. have you ever confronted her on any issues? Are you adopted? Are you really her child or just your fathers child that she agreed to raise even though she resents you? Either of these should not make a difference ,I'm trying to figure out why a mother would do that to one child and not the other unless there is a reason ( in her mind ) for resentment and it sounds like resentment to me. Why does your dad put up with it when he knows it's wrong? She must have something she is holding over his head for him to let her treat you that way. Ask some questions.

Answer 4

Even though parents shouldn't take favorites, they do. Usually, they go with the one who doesn't give them too much trouble. I would venture to guess that you speak up, are independent, do things your way a lot, and like to be listened to and understood. And maybe a bit stubborn. And I would think your sister appears to be nice, does mom favors and is likeable, no trouble at all.
My kids were that way, and believe me, it changes over time. My daughter lived with her father and was sweet, but let everything he said go in one ear and out the other, as she smiled at him. My son fought him all the way, and my ex made my son move back in with me. Actually, he threw him out of the house at 16, and lucky me got him back again. I dearly love both of my kids and I asked my daughter how she got along with ex and son didn't. She explained the above, i.e I pretended to listen and then did my own thing, but Rick fights back.
This fighting back to be heard doesn't not go over well with some one who is controlling, and most moms and some dads are. They want the best for you but don't know how to do it, so they get bossy. Then the war, or battle starts, and the child who fights back gets pushed down, or labeled the troublemaker.
If you could learn to vent your anger somewhere else, do all you can to study and prepare yourself for your independence, get a job if you are old enough, and stay away from mom as much as possible, it will all straighten out with time. In the end you may be the favorite, but don't go for that. Go for learning how to cope, because your first real job may be with a boss like this. And maybe your second boss. You need to learn life's lesson, and home is the training ground. Success

Answer 5

I wonder if you've ever asked your mother what you could do that would please her. I'm wondering, too, if you already know why she is upset with you so much more often than with your sister. If you are polite, helpful, well-mannered, obedient to your parents, and serious about your school work, that should be a good start to making your mother happy with you. If you have a tendency to sass, disobey the rules, and be argumentative I can see why you are in trouble. Of course your mother is opinionated. It's part of her job to guide you and help you grow up without being in trouble. The more I read over what you wrote, the more I think that you know exactly why your mother is upset with you and perhaps you're stubborn too and don't follow the rules of the family. Think about it.

Answer 6

Well, first of all, I dont know how old you are but you sound like a preteen. I think that you must realize that your mom has more then likely already done what you are tring to do. Maybe she comes off the wrong way. But now that I am a mom I do realize what mom was tring to protect me from what she had done. I think you and your mom and your dad need to sit down and let them know how you feel respectfully. Let them know that you can be responsible but they have to give you the chance. . Tell them that you know that they are tring to make you into a responsible adult. Let you show them that they are doing a good job. The only way for them to tell is if you show them.

Answer 7

This is a very difficult thing for you, I am sure. Sometimes we just don't understand what is going on in people's minds. If only we could show our parents the damage that they are doing to their children.

As long as there is not physical abuse or sexual abuse, I am afraid that you are currently stuck in this situation. Perhaps your counselor at school will have some suggestions.

Please remember that you are not alone. If you get a chance, read the book, "A Boy Called It."

One other thing that you need to realize is that this is her problem, not yours. This is her issue. This is something that she has to deal with. If she makes you feel stupid and horrible, it is only because you have let her do it.

Again, talk to your counselor at school. I think that is your best bet for getting some suggestions to this problem.

I wish you the best.

Answer 8

i am very sorry to hear this. i wish i could be there to help you get through this difficult time, but unfortuantely, i cant. So i will try to help you the best i can. so, i dont know where to start. ok. although this may sound stupid, try to find the things that she really hates, and keep in mind to never do them. try to find the things she adores, and then go from there. for her birthday, you could get her something that she really likes, or you could ask her mom, your grandmother, about the things that she liked during her childhood. you could try to find one of the things that was very special to her during her childhood, and give it to her. i may change the way she feels about you because it shows that you are interested in what made her happy when she was a young girl.

try to find the things that she argues over a lot, and if you can and or if it is possible, take sides with her and try to see where she is coming from.
i hope this helps!

Answer 9

run away, and never return
no im jsut kidding
be nice, just remember when she is old and you have to take care of her, do it exactly the same as she did u
"What do u need bloody medicine for? Oh, u can live without it, im sure!!!"
"Oxygen? For all the bloody things in the world and u need oxygen, you dont need it, you only want it!!!!!"
"Oh, NOW you need your bedpans changed? No no no, im quite sure that you can do it yourself!!! I know thats the way you wanted me as a child, not getting anything that i wanted, and watching it get handed over to my sister!!!! Well, now it is the same for you!! I will ONLY do the same for you as what you did me, and taht, mother, is only a drop. And that cant compare to all the drops of tears that you promised me!!!" you cry and run out of the room, leaving your little sister to do all of the chores!!!
Or something like that.................

Answer 10

ooh, that is a toughy! Not sure how old u r, but are you old enough to move out?? Threaten this to your mom, see how she takes it. i just wouldn't like to be in your shoes, but she doesn't expect you to live how she did in the 60's cos pc's weren't around much then, everyone was just happy with cardboard boxes. Sorry, i'm not being much help here am i? u'll just hav to grin and bear it i suppose, and be helpful around the house, learn to mix in!

good luck

Tx

Answer 11

"favouritizes"

good made-up word by the way..and you and your mom are different than any other mother daughter relationship???

I don't think so. Every kid imagines that the other is the favourite.....poor you, even your dad is against you.

Guess what- maybe try to STOP arguing with your Mom and start being a normal kid.