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Just after it happened? Some time later?

Thank you for your answers! :)

Have a wonderful week ahead! :)

2007-10-28 10:58:21 · 52 answers · asked by Moon :) 7 in Society & Culture Religion & Spirituality

52 answers

Sometimes, though it's hard.

Usually, if it's just a "little" hurt, I'm okay, and I can just be neutral toward them.

But some people have hurt me too much, for me to respond in such a way. Sometimes, I just have to shut them out of my life.

It may seem cruel, but I can't help it. Even if I say I forgive someone, it *still* hurts, inside. Maybe that pain goes away eventually; I don't know. It never has.

2007-11-03 07:29:26 · answer #1 · answered by [[Princess For The Day]] 2 · 3 0

I come into contact with an elderly lady several times a week, a very unhappy person. She's unhappy so she thinks everyone else should be too. I am polite. It wouldn't show her anything positive about me if I retaliated or acted like her. I do not ENABLE her to walk all over me though. When she is around and getting poisonous, I tell her I have things to do, or have to go somewhere and get away from her.

2007-10-29 18:45:19 · answer #2 · answered by kriend 7 · 1 0

Yes, you can, but the reality is that you often don't WANT to. It takes a decision on your part to make an effort to be kind to them even when they have hurt you, and your natural reaction is to want to hurt them like they have hurt you.

I am a Christian, and, let's face it, despite what the Bible says, your first reaction when someone hurts you is to want to hurt them back. You're a human, that is what happens. I am not saying it's the RIGHT reaction, but I am saying that it is the HUMAN reaction, and that is why it takes a decision for you to be polite to them.

It really is a hard thing to do and, you know, sometimes you do need to take a little break from people when they hurt you. The thing is, though, that people can hurt you without being aware of it. I think in those circumstances it's best to let the person know directly that they hurt you, why they hurt you and how they hurt you. As a girl, the temptation is there to bad mouth whoever it was to someone else and gossip, rather than going directly to the person and sorting it out.

So yes, you can be polite to someone who hurt you straight away, but it's not an easy thing to do. It requires self-control, and sometimes it's okay to need a break from them for a while (without being rude).

2007-10-28 11:17:14 · answer #3 · answered by Alex 2 · 4 1

When someone hurts me I kinda just go all quiet. I try to be polite but it is so very hard when your heart hurts. So I will say No to just after it happened and YES to some time later.

2007-10-29 12:21:44 · answer #4 · answered by Tiger Lily 3 · 1 0

You should be intelligent enough to see what type of a person they are.

And be able to react in the manner in which you think will make them understand that it was a mistake to treat you that way.

For some people it should be delt in a polite way.

For some people you need to shout

And from somepeople you should just stay away from.

the 4 castes of hinduism are like this

The highest caste are people who will understand when you tell them something

The second and third are people who will understand if you tell them with a little force or little anger.

The fourth you just have to smack them and they will understand.

Fortunatley not many people fall into the 4th catagory.

Anger is an energy which can be used to give people who are so intelligent an understanding

2007-10-28 11:11:45 · answer #5 · answered by Raajaananda N 2 · 3 2

Being polite or not after feeling hurt is a matter of choice, so I have the capability to be polite if I chose to, but it's quite hard for me to hide my emotions when angry or hurt, so I'd rather keep away from that person until I've had time to gather myself (and not say something I'll regret), think clearly and perhaps then talk it over.

Thank you, have a wonderful week as well! :-)

2007-10-28 13:39:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2 1

Sometimes. If they apologize, it's pretty easy. Even if they don't, sometimes I can. It really depends on whether the hurt was intentional or inadvertent. That is, whether I am the intended victim or just "collateral damage." Sometimes it does take awhile, though. My mother always said not to hold a grudge longer than the pain lasts. By that standard, however, we'd be justified in never having a polite relationship with someone who did you permanent harm. Sometimes it's just more important to bury the hatchet and move on with your life.

2007-10-28 13:33:34 · answer #7 · answered by auntb93 7 · 2 1

I can and have.

My girlfriend, had told me she loved me for the first time, then three days later broke up with me, and this was one day before our anniversary. That night she faced some problems at home, and I was right there the entire time and never once talked about me. She later worked out some things, and we are strong once more.

Sometimes, there are tests that we have to pass. If i had held a grudge then I would not be as happy or as blissful as i am right now. Don't get me wrong, I'd have joy through Christ, but well i think you get my point lol.

God Bless.

2007-10-28 11:09:41 · answer #8 · answered by Chris 1 · 3 1

There have been only two people that have hurt me that I can't be polite to. And it was a long time ago. But all the others I can be quite nice to them even right after they hurt me. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve.

2007-10-28 11:51:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4 1

It's rather difficult to do at first, but I usually can be polite eventually. For me, it takes a few days regardless of the circumstance. I have usually been able to mend fences quite well, but this time it seems to be more difficult than before. I trust that cooler heads and warmer hearts will prevail.

2007-10-28 22:04:34 · answer #10 · answered by gone 6 · 1 1

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