How can I convince my parents to realize that I'm getting older?

Question

I have an older sister who's about to graduate college, and my parents aren't dealing with it very well. She's good at every little thing and she's getting a boatload of internships; she pretty much has her pick.

Of course, I have all her talents and stuff, but they must have gotten dulled during the 6 years between my sister and I. But now that I'm nearing 14, my parents feel that they have to treat me like a child. For example, my bedtime is at 9:00, I'm not mature enough to not have bangs (although it irritates my forehead acne) and they still enjoy buying me sugary cereals (which is kinda inconvenient; I'm trying to watch my weight) and children's toys. Before my sister started going to college, I had a normal bedtime, and other normal things. But I just think that they're never going to let me go to college, which is what happened between my mother and her parents.

My dad is fully supportive, but it's my mom who's having problems. I don't care about me, but what about them?

Answer 1

it would seem that your mother is gearing up for empty nest syndrome. i have a 16y boy, & i can relate,its very hard for mums & parents, i wish my son wouldn't grow up but i know that i can't stop it so in some ways i try to slow it down a little at least. we'v always been close & i've always been the kid in the house, but i cuddle him more, i try to do more things with him, even if its only playing a board games or cards or watching a dvd. his bed time is 9.30, i don't think that that is too early, as he has school & he's got 2yrs of really important schooling ahead of him, so we both agree that 9.30 is reasonable. i do allow him to be independent but its hard & i worry, as mums do.
slowly slowy with your mum, talk to her, be gentle, spend some time, help her out with little chores as that is good quality time too & you guys will have memories of precious moments together forever. ask her about things, from when you & your sister were little, when she was little, when she was a teenager, talk about your friends, school stuff, your feelings. involve your dad in some of these things too & slowly she will let go, at least this way she won't feel that its as sudden, perhaps. i don't want my son to leave home but i don't want to stiffle or smother him either.
good luck darling.

Answer 2

Give your mom a break. Its hard being this age, you have so many things (pre-menopausal and menopausal) going on with your body and your emotions and the darn kids keep insisting on growing up and not needing us any more.

You are old enough to wear your hair like you want it. Solicit your dad's help and ask him to take you to have your hair done. Ask your dermatologist to speak to your mother about your acne. Sugary cereals aren't good for anyone any age. Just don't eat them. Get up alittle earlier and have a egg and toast or yogurt or oatmeal. Tell her that you just don't want to eat something that is so bad for you and its making you tired during the day. You need protein and whole grains to keep you going through your busy day. My girls have given me a gift list to use since before they were your age. Tell your mom what you want and where to get it. Again, get your dad in there on your behalf. Maybe even your older sister, you are too old for toys.

I think 9 might be too early for you if you have a great deal of homework. However, my girls had a 9:30 bedtime and I think an active girl your age needs to get more than a few hours of sleep.

Good luck, and if you want you can show this to your mom. As one mom to another, its your job to do what you can to push them out on their own, that's the whole point of mothering.

Answer 3

Perhaps their realization that your sister is all grown up makes them want to baby you more.

Just act maturely. Your actions are the only way you can convince them to treat you older.