I'm a (fairly) successful single guy about 35. About a year ago, my mother made a list of every cent she gave me after 18 (including college), added interest, then sent me the bill. It's not that she needs the money especially since she's on a trust fund all her life. Lately, her age is showing and she's really wanting to get back into my life (but the bill still stands). I don't hate her, but have excluded her over the past few years because I put her in the "no value added" category. My father left at an early age, so he's no issue. Am I wrong?
2007-10-28 10:47:23 · 9 answers · asked by Radman 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It sounds like she feels like you have already disowned her and you are being an ungreatful son. She probably only added the interest on because you are 35, fairly successful, yet lacking in love and compassion for women (hence, still single) Placing your mom in the "no value added" category is pretty darn low of you and forgiving a father who took it upon himself to split when you were young is extremely backwards logic on your part, don't you think? No matter what ups and downs you had growing up the fact remains that your mom stuck it out and deserves more love and respect than you are showing her. She is up there in years, not feeling as well, and needs some concern but you are too busy for her so at least give her the money so she can take care of herself properly and hire whomever she needs to help her.
2007-10-28 11:26:23 · answer #1 · answered by Twilight 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say it depends in some ways. First did she "loan" or give you the money while in college? If it was loans that she had to take out or large sums of money I would feel obligated to at least pay back what was borrowed. Now as far as he tacking on interest "LOL" I don't think that would hold up in any court unless she is a savings and loan company herself for others and you signed some kind of contract or agreement to that effect. Personally what she wants to do as far as "getting back into life" that's her business and what she uses the money for is her business as well. The fact that she loaned it to you, especially as mentioned if large sum to help you while you got your education in college so you didn't have to borrow from a bank, loan company, or other place that would have made you pay it back with interest and in payments shows that she loves and cared about you. Being fairly successful and single, would tell me that you gained your status through your mother's help. Be a man and at least give her back the original amount she gave you and don't be a user. How would you feel if you supported a child in college to help them out, only to later on be left not getting it returned to you? I say pay her back, it would make for better family relationships later in life too.
2007-10-28 17:58:35 · answer #2 · answered by Ghostwriter1959 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't think you disown her, otherwise you wouldn't be having this dilemma, you wouldn't acknowledge her at all.
secondly, a bill....hhhmmm, i think your mother has issues. do you have siblings, are they being treated the same? perhaps your mother has too much time on her hands. i would suggest to ask her why she has done this 'bill', perhaps its not really about the money. perhaps she thinks she's trying to make you stand on your own two feet, or be responsible for your expenses. i would think at 35 you've got that under controll though. perhaps she's reaching out but going about it the wrong way.
i don't really know but i would definately ask, however try to stay calm & try to listen. perhaps she's just a b**** & you could continue to limit your contact with her.
2007-10-28 18:01:05 · answer #3 · answered by chinadoll 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you excluding your mother from your life has hurt her deeply. No wonder she wants you to pay her back for all the effort she's put into you. Her love has been unrequited.
You're pretty selfish. All a mother wants is the love of her child and you're too arrogant to even give her that. It's called tolerance and respect for the person who brought you into this world.
2007-10-28 17:53:53 · answer #4 · answered by rorybuns 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say yes, because regardless of what she has asked you for back, you can't ask her for your forgiveness once she is gone. Your soul will not rest if you continue to shut her out and then something happens to her.be the better man I know you can be and take her out to dinener. Better yet cook her dinner. Since she feels as though you owe her money,don't let her think you have any! That's why you cooked yourself.[smile].
2007-10-28 18:26:21 · answer #5 · answered by candytnnr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know you only have one mother I think its wrong for her to make up a list...because one day you may have to help her..sit her down and let her know how you feel....but dont disown her.....my mom is 60 and her age shows all the time but I still love her.....
2007-10-28 17:53:02 · answer #6 · answered by JustChillin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no its not bad i disowned mine i didnt need all her drama did the same to my mother in law life has never been better for wife and i and the kids
2007-10-28 18:08:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
After I get done laughing I'm going to get down on my old knees and thank my higher power that I didn't give birth to you.
2007-10-28 17:54:25 · answer #8 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Send her wads of Monopoly money and call it good.
2007-10-28 17:56:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋