My 3 year old doesn't want to go to preschool anymore?

Question

My 3 year old daughter has been going to preschool for 4 wks. She goes 2 mornings per week only. My son is 4 & he goes too (another class) We hadn't even planned on putting her in till next year but she really wanted to go. She was excited at first but after the first couple of days she started saying she doesn't want to go. That she misses me & she doesn't like it. I am debating if I should go ahead and take her out till next year or give it a little more time.

If she were going to kindergarten next year I would keep her in for sure.

The teachers say she is pouty for a while but later she warms up & plays well with the other kids.

Answer 1

At such a young age, I would not "force" her to go. There will be times in life when you are going to have to "make her" do things, even things that seem upsetting to her. But at 3, she does not understand life and so I would not traumatize her by making her go. Not at age 3, not at all. Some people have no choice, they have to work. If that is the case, then you have to do some more thinking. But studies have shown that pre-school don't make children get a better career after they graduate college and things like that. I am not kidding. It is true. I have read articles like that. Your little girl will be a success in life withouth pre-school. Good luck.

Answer 2

This happens a lot. Talk to the staff and see how she's getting on. Ask how she interacts with the other children and if she freely participates in activities and if she's made any friends. Some children realise after a few sessions that they will be coming back and the novelty of 'different toys' does initially wear off! At the same time, the average settling in period is around 6 weeks. Also, which days does she attend? Are her 2 days consecutive or spread out over the week. ie. if she goes mon and tues, she then has 5 days before she returns. She may, for example benefit from 3 sessions a week, say mon, weds and fri, then the weekend at home.

Hope all goes well, try to stick with it a bit longer, but if she really is unhappy then reconsider. Remember to keep a positive attitude when talking about pre-school though as your child will pick up on your feelings.

Good luck to both of you.

Answer 3

Well...2 mornings isnt much...in the UK they all go for 5 mornings a week once they hit 3...as long as their birthday falls in the right month otherwise they start at 4...I think that you should check with her teachers that nothing has upset her...they get weird about all sorts of bizzarre things...is she ok going to the toilet? Is she ok at snack time and does she play ok once she is there....if she is getting on ok according to the teacher I would try her for another 3 weeks....if she is still unhappy and you cannot find a specific reason for it then pull her out....she can go next year. Just tell her that she has "tried" preschool in readiness for next year...so she does not feel like she did anything wrong....good luck.

Answer 4

Her reticence may be an indication that there is something happening at the school that she desires to avoid. In our experience, our son at 3 loved his school, however mid-year a new boy was added to the mix. The new boy pushed, hit, and yelled at other children. Our son began to not want to go to school. His response to our questions was that he didn't like it. Rather than force him we stayed and observed through a few days. Our observations allowed us to see the new boy being a bully to many of the kids in the room. We worked with our son to process his feelings about the bully and also spoke with the pre-school teacher about the troublesome child. It didn't fully solve the problem, but it did make it manageable. If that hadn't worked for us we would have removed our child from the situation. We felt that it was better to let him know that he needn't stand for the abuse and that we would not allow such abuse to be put upon him. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 5

I'd give her a little more time & see how she does. If she doesnt improve with wanting to go, talk to the teacher and see if sumthing is going on there. If none of these work, then just take her out til next year. But it would be easier if you can get her to stay this year, so that it won't be so hard for her again next year.
Good Luck

Answer 6

My son will be starting his preschool tomorrow. I worry that he will miss me, but he'll be only going for two and a half hours a day for four days. How long does she stay at school?
She'll get use to it. Kids need the learning experience and from what I have gotten from other parents, that preschool really benefits them. I know she misses you, but the benefit of preschool is much greater. :-) I would keep her in. But that's totally up to you and how you feel about it. I feel as though all children go through this phase of missing their parents when they go to school.

Answer 7

This is a toughy. My gut response is to make her stay in. She'll have to eventually go to school full time and she won't have the option then of not going. However, she is only 3 so she has time before that's really a problem. If you take her out though, you're reinforcing the idea that quitting is okay and that leaving mommy is not okay. If you take her out now too what's to stop her from having this same issue next year.

I guess I'm going to have to go with keeping her in, at least a little longer. See if she changes her mind. Remember, you're the parent not the friend. You make the decision based on what's best for her, not what she wants.

Answer 8

You need to give it more time... of course she misses you... you are her mom! That doesn't mean that you should take her out of preschool. It is good for her to be at school learning how to be with other kids and learning how to be in a more structured environment. I know it's probably hard to hear her say she doesn't want to go, but I would be she's having fun at school while she's there. Have you asked her teachers what her day is like? Cause if she is happy there and telling you something else, she's just missing you and trying to manipulate you. Be the adult, leave her there (unless you find out she's not happy while she's there) and she will get used to it.

Answer 9

If it were me I would go ahead and take her out. She is only 3 & she can go next year. She didn't really know exactly what she was saying when she said she wanted to go to preschool . She didn't really know what that meant and she may have even thought she was going to be with her brother (even if you explained it-they get things mixed up)
My advice it just go ahead & take her out & have a little time with just her! Next year she will be another year older and more mature. she will likely be much more ready then. I would still only do 2-3 mornings per wk. Just let her play with other kids & go to play groups and things this year. she will have to go to school for years to come so I would not push her & force her into going. Let her be 3 and stay home with mommy = )
Not sending her this year will NOT make her anxiety worse!
Good luck!
=o)

Answer 10

You should keep her in. This is a good age to teach her to be committed to things. You may think oooh shes only 4, but the sooner you teach your kids things the more responsible they will be when they get older. If you take her out this could make her think that she can give up on things after shes tired of doing it. Your daughter will learn to adapt to not being around you 24/7.


Sorry i thought you said she was 4, if shes 3 i would take her out. If she was 4 i would keep her in to prepare her for school so when she turn 5 she would not have that feeling. But at 3, taking her out is understandable.