My mom is ALWAYS angry at me ... and we never get along ... help ?

Question

I am 13 & I've been having problems with my mom lately. She's always in a bad mood, and she's always yelling at me for something. I tried talking to her, but she is NOT the type of person who sits down and talks things out. Unlike other moms who just calmly tell their kids the problem, my mom will blow up on me, then refuse to talk to me for a few days. Her behavior has been really bad over the past year. I know she's getting put under a lot of pressure since my dad's drinking problem has worsened over the past few years, plus she works the midnight shift at work. My mom is always screaming and cursing at me if I don't do something right, and sometimes she will hit me if she's really pissed. I feel bad because my mom blames me and she says I'm the one who causes all of the family problems.

Several of my aunts and cousins have even said that she needs anger management. I understand that she's probably under alot of stress because of my dad, but I just can't take it anymore.

I try to help out around the house as much as I can, and I try not to get her mad. But practically everything I do makes her mad.

I also get a little stressed out because even though I try as hard as I can to get on the Highest Honor Roll at school, she will totally BLOW UP if I only get on the High Honor Roll.

Answer 1

i am so sorry to hear about what you are going through.i wish i had a easy fix for these things. first you have to know it is not your fault and do not think it is because fo something you did. your mom had no way of letting her anger out so she lets it out on you. she needs to talk to someone that can help her work with her anger.maybe you and her can talk to someone together. do you have a minster or a close family friend that can sit down with you and your mother and talk to her? maybe fund someone that will not make you mom mad but she will talk to.i will pray for your family. you are so young to have to deal with this. just remember that God loves you and he will help you with this problem.pray for your mom to look in her heart and see what she is doing is hurting you.stay strong and do the best you can with what you have.

Answer 2

I'm 17, and I've had the same problem since 4th grade I think. Only that my mom is a single mom, and has always been since I was two years old. So I totally know your feelings. It's almost impossible to say something back to her, right? It's like she doesn't even listen to you. I don't know what to do either.. I'm moving out when i've graduated high school, and then I can be free from that hell.. I've always thought that I want to turn 18 as quickly as possible, because she takes my money all the time.. And luckily I have some amazing friends to talk to about my feelings and getting my emotions out, since I'm kinda stressed and depressed about it. So I think we share the same feelings. Talk to your friends about it. And I know this is not the greatest advise, but I don't think it would help to try talking to your mom. It only hurts you more, because of all the shouting. After I started at a dormitory school, I've only seen my mom just two days a week. And it made me relax a bit. But my advise to you is to try living with it, if you can't do anything about it, but try talking to a teacher about it, and/or friends. Friends really do help. My mom didn't want to get any help or talk to anybody about things at home, so it was a rough time for me..

I understand that it might not be easy for either you or your mom. And I think you understand your moms feelings too, about the situation you're in. So I say, good luck my friend. And it will hopefully get better after a while.

Answer 3

Your Mom is under a lot of stress and stress can make people get very moody and anxious.

Try to make things easy for her if you can. She is suffering right now and sounds like the type who holds it all in. You need to be understanding and that means showing her that you are there for her no matter what.

Parents are human. She is probably scared stiff that bills won't get payed and worrying about your Dad.Also I'm sure she is exhausted.

It's hard for a woman to deal with an alcoholic husband. You say unlike other Moms who calmly talk---unlike other Moms your Mom is dealing with an alcoholic husband, working a tough shift, and worrying about her future.

Good Luck
Maybe you could buy her a couple of carnations with a card?
I'm sure your father hasn't paid any attention to her, it would be nice for your Mom to have someone think of her and show her she is loved even though she is going through a tough time.

Answer 4

I'm going through a similar thing right now. I'm 17 and my mom is always screaming at me for no reason and telling me to go live with my dad. Like you said there's just no reasoning with her. I dont have an alcoholic dad but my parents are divorced and my mom's never hit me thankfully but she's verbally abusive. How did your situation turn out??

Answer 5

Hey man I know how you feel I have a very similar situation I am only 14 years old and I deal with a lot with my mom she is constantly screaming around the house at me or my sister on the phone she isn't much of a people person but anyway ever since my parents bought a new house which is unessecarly big that was around 650,000 for a house of four they have been stressed with finical issues with my sister going off to college and my dad buying a 40,000 car my mom likes to take out all her anger on my sister and i, and it really sucks I try to talk to her make her laugh and it only seems to make it worse so I don't know how to really address something like this

Answer 6

wow i am sorry that is happening to you i go through the same thing some times my mom was like that and worse when i was in 2nd grade but we found out what was wrong with her she has emotion problems and she would always blame me for every thing!! Well because of her behavior when i was little i am not close to my mom at all!! If you every want some one to talk to you can e-mail me at: [e-mail]
it helps if you talk to some one about your feelings or write them down in a dairy and get all your angry out!! I hope this helped you!!

Answer 7

I'm coming from experience here, my mother is a functioning alcholic and has been my entire life so you need to listen very carefully to what I'm about to tell you: You are taking on your Mom's drinking problem and it's not healthy, you cannot force your Mom to quit consuming alchol she has to want to do this for herself and right now she just doesn't want to stop even though its' causing her health problems. Your Mom has a split personality, it's not "Dissocative Identity Disorder" but she has two sides to her when she is sober she is loving, kind, supportive but when she is intoxicated she is vicious, spiteful, callous and out of touch with reality. It's not the booze talking people who say this are extremely ignorant and naive when they makek statements like that. When a person drinks it lowers their inhibtions and they say and do things they wouldn't do when sober because essentially their conscience is subdued, when they are sober they are worried if they say or do something it will cause friction/harm/embarssment to themselves/others but when they intoxicated their awarness goes out the window and they carry on regardless. I really think its time for you to move in with your Dad, because it's not healthy for you right now to be around your Mom. Her drinking clearly upsets you and when she is drunk she is often saying vicious things towards you, it's also dangerous physically to you because she is bringing home questionable men, one who has already sexually molested you.

Answer 8

Based on what you said, it doesn't sound like you are doing anything wrong. Your Mom appears to have problems, but it's not possible to tell what they are. She could have bipolar disorder, anxiety, or she could even be perimenopausal. Your Dad also has a problem with alcoholism. Your entire family really should go for counseling. Maybe one of your aunts could talk to your parents and make them see that it would be good for everyone. They don't have to tell your parents that you asked her to.

Good luck.

Answer 9

Your family dynamics are defined by your fathers alcoholism. Your mother is probably codependent, and in need of mental health counseling. However you can't change either of their behavior. I would suggest you start going to Alanon or Alateen and get support from kids who are in the same situation you are. They can help you understand and help you not make the same mistakes your mom is making with your dad.

If you can't talk to her, can you write a letter about how you feel?

Answer 10

It all stems from your Dad's drinking problem, your Mom has the weight of the world and your lives on her shoulders. Just keep doing nice things for her-she will soon see the light.