She constantly calls him, she manipulates him into having him constantly worry about her for no reason because she is always complaining about her life and two kids. She doesn't like the fact he has a girlfried and the last girlfriend he had had problems with her as well. How do I stop this manipulative girl and get the upper hand on her?
2007-10-28 08:26:29 · 26 answers · asked by kip 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
shes just use to being a daddys girl.
and having him all to herself.
i'd approach her, or easier just pick up his phone when she calls and talk to her.
tell her how he is a grown man, and he has the right to a private relationship without her influence.
but don't be nasty about it.
don't call her manipulative or rotten.
just be fair about it, it is his daughter and i can understand how she wants him to care about her affairs too.
i'd explain how you see why she wants to butt into his life, but then end the convo with a BOUNDARY guidelines talk.
shes more likely to understand it that way and back off if you approach the situation from an understanding, nonmenacing point of view.
2007-10-28 08:36:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call her and ask her to meet you at a neutral place like a coffee shop.
Tell her how much her father means to you, and that You are so very happy with him, and you want to know if she is glad to see that her father has a girlfriend.
Try to relate, and listen to her without feeling defensive.
Tell her you can understand her feeling that her Daddy is being taken away from her. Condirm that no one intends to do that, and no one can replace his love that he has for his daughter. . But her Dad needs a life as well, and because you love him, and value his family, you hope you are accepted.
This might pull the rug out from under her. And you may be surprised to discover a friend in the daughter.
Best of luck to you.
2007-10-28 08:39:58 · answer #2 · answered by bluebyou 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't get the upper hand on her. You can't even help your partner to see that his daughter is a bad person. If you attempt to do this then you will end up being the "bad" person. She will look like the victim once again which clearly she's so good at being.
This girl reminds me a bit of my sister. And, his poor wife had to learn how to back up and let my father see my sister for who she really is. In the meantime, she became frustrated feeling as if regardless of what my sister did wrong my dad would never allow her to take any blame for her own faults. In life you must realize to pick your battles this is one you can't win. Sorry, you can be the best person in the world but trying to turn the tables on this one will end up with the table landing directly on top of YOU.
Back away and don't show any expression when you hear from your partner about his daughter. She has probably had some situations in her life that causes her to act like this. Then try to be supportive of how your partner feels about his daughter's issues even if you don't agree. Next, NEVER EVER let the daughter know you don't like her, or that you are aware that she's a jerk/loser. Just be upbeat around her and never show your real feelings within time she will learn to respect you, and maybe even like you. Eventually, she has to realize her dad has to have his own life and prehaps in time she will appreciate that you are helping him to do just that. She does love her father you must know that because why, else would she fight for his attention at 26 like a two year old? But, appreciate her love for her dad by just not showing how you feel about her in time she will grow up, prehaps even try to win you over, and with that you might have yourself a new family. :) I hope for the best...but, be ready to just be an ear to listen without emotion on the situation. If your guy ask your advice I encourage you to just ask him questions about how he feels and what he thinks. Try not to paint his daughter/baby 26 year old as a villian after all she's his daughter for life!
2007-10-28 09:52:43 · answer #3 · answered by Smiley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't do it by bad-mouthing her to her dad. He will always love her because she is his daughter. You can get the upper hand with him by always being sweet and kind to her, suggesting solutions to her problems to him, and NEVER showing anger or jealousy. I've been through the same situation myself and believe me, if you show any opposition, he'll turn against you and you'll be out the door! If you stay calm and sweet natured about the whole thing, he'll eventually see her as she really is and see what she is doing to him. It may take a while but it will be worth it in the long run if this man means anything to you. I married my man and his daughter is now 38 and out of his life for the past 14 years!! We've been married for 26 years. She showed her true colors to me when she was 17 and he stood up to her. She'll always be his daughter and he'll always love her, but he won't allow her to abuse me, manipulate him, or interfere in our lives anymore. It's tough, but it can be done if you hang in there.
2007-10-28 08:41:56 · answer #4 · answered by Ladyastor921 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is only 26 with 2 children and probably always had Dads support. I'm afraid at this moment in time if you try and get the better of her or criticise her to dad to much, things just won't work. You will put the dad in a worrying position which will only cause stress. Show a bit of sympathy and try and win her friendship eventually that is the only thing that will work
2007-10-28 08:34:31 · answer #5 · answered by jennifer h 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's your problem..you are thinking of ways to get the upper hand!! On a father daughter relationship...are you nuts???
Of course the daughter doesn't like the dad having a girlfriend.
Did you try to be nice to this girl...maybe she is having a hard time trying to raise two kids.....
2007-10-28 08:34:48 · answer #6 · answered by zanthus 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You won't stop her you have to change him.Counseling would be the best method. She will wreck every relationship he has if allowed. Hold your ground and very lovingly tell him she needs to get off the drama kick. pick up the pieces and start living her own life.He can't kiss her boo-boos anymore.your going out of the picture if you dont become so loving and important to him he cant lose you.She's won before let her know in kind ways your there to stay.
2007-10-28 08:37:09 · answer #7 · answered by oatesmokid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you could try is to befriend her or go with your partner and try to show interest in her life, perhaps offer advice if you have anything she may find useful.
Maybe offer to look after her kids so she can go out for an evening soemtime.
At least then ur partnet will c ur making an effort and might turn more towards your favour.
2007-10-28 08:30:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kill her with kindness.
It would be easy to go off on her and tell her I'm here whether you like it or not, but that will just make her more determined to break you two up.
Be sweet, be sympathetic(even if it drives you nuts) and be willing to be good guy.
And I would also try to explain to her father that she is a big girl and unless someone is in the ER or something really serious, that he needs to stop giving in to her little games.
2007-10-28 08:35:27 · answer #9 · answered by shnoopy_purple 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would pull that little heffa to the side and have a good talk with her. Let her know that you're not trying to steal her father away and that it's not fair of her trying to manipulate a grown man's life.
If that doesn't work, take her to the back yard and whoop her behind!! I have PMS, I'll come over and do it for free! HAHAHA
2007-10-28 08:31:26 · answer #10 · answered by sxctighteyedtam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋