i've been with my boyfriend for 7 months now and he has a little girl thats 4 years old and im ok with that but two weeks ago he found out that he has another little girl thats 5 years old. i dont want to leave him but i dont know if i can stay with him. i had to play the mother role for his 4 year old but i dont know if i can do that with the 5 year old. i want to be with him but what if i want a kid with him. it wont be anything special to him it'll only be special to me. now im third in his life because of his new little girl i dont know if i can handle it. what should i do? should i stay with him or break up with him?
2007-10-28 08:11:02 · 15 answers · asked by coolgurl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
follow your heart, and when in doubt ask Jesus
2007-10-28 08:21:02 · answer #1 · answered by K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This really depends on how you feel about him. I would normally tell you to express your feelings to him, but you don't want to put him off by basically telling him that you're being a selfish brat. Everything isn't always going to be ABOUT YOU.
The thing is, you DON'T know if you can handle it or not. I wouldn't speculate at this point until this other child becomes a part of your life. If having him in your life is worth the extra effort, then don't make a stink about it. If you WANT this man in your life, you will HAVE to accept that he has children to care for. This doesn't mean that you come third...that's your own selfishness talking because you want him to yourself a bit.
I am speaking from experience.
You don't HAVE to play the mother role, these children already HAVE mothers. Be a friend...a role model.
If you love your boyfriend then you should also love all the things that come along with him. When you do things together, also express that you want some time when it's just the two of you and then other times when the kids can come along...if nothing else, you're seeing what a dedicated father his can be.
If you choose to stay and eventually have your own children with him, this quality is an important one. Your child will be no less special than the other two...trust me. He will love you all the same...
2007-10-28 08:23:12 · answer #2 · answered by sxctighteyedtam 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you are a little jealous of the kids. My suggestion is to find someone else. I don't think you will be able to handle the step parent lifestyle especially if you feel like you are 3rd to his kids now. Being a parent is different than being a b/f or husband.
2007-10-28 08:16:05 · answer #3 · answered by just me 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do some serious soul searching...Does he have the kids full time or only part time? Is he very active in the other kids lives or just sometimes? Wait it out for a little while and really see
2007-10-28 08:16:22 · answer #4 · answered by ♥STREAKER♥©℗† 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, that is totally up to you. You really have to weigh the pros and cons... is your boyfriend worth it? Do you like him enough to keep being a mother? If you answered no, then do not continue to be with him. If you answered yes, don't break up with him. But if you did say yes... get some parenting magazines and read, read, read!
2007-10-28 08:16:17 · answer #5 · answered by Abby Corneto 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he just found out??? wtf??
and you compare yrself with the kids??? u r a woman and his feelings for you are different than the feelings for his kids!!!
again....wtf???
and why is it you who has to take care of the 5 yr old???
where s the mother???
No offense but....i don t think u r ready or mature enough to deal with the situation right now....
find smbdy else....
2007-10-28 08:54:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay with him-if he cares about you-if he dosent and just wants you to play role for his both dauthers than leave him-or let me tell you- break up with him-because you are his thid in his life so- you don't want to become one of the other ones and get him a daugher- do you??
2007-10-28 08:16:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to let go. He has two children & thats not going to change. if you cant love him for the whole package, let him go.
2007-10-28 08:18:31 · answer #8 · answered by lil bit 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The proof of his immaturity and irresponsibility seems to be catching up with him. I guess you have to decide if you will settle for that.
2007-10-28 08:50:15 · answer #9 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should break up with him, because that might happen again.
2007-10-28 08:50:43 · answer #10 · answered by jenjenn bby (; 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if u love him so much mayb give him a chance n sit n talk to him bout it
2007-10-28 08:28:41 · answer #11 · answered by woopsclassique 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋