A managers's Wedding invitation etiquette?

Question

A manager has 12 subordinates and is about to get a wedding party. What is the wedding invitation etiquette ? Does he have to follow "invite them all or none" etiquette ? or Does he have the right to choose which one of those 12 he would like to invite? - which may mean (or can be read as ) favoritism. The ones invited will feel "above" the ones not invited and the ones not invited will feel "rejected", "below", "outcast" etc

I personally think that he must follow invite them all or none. What do you think?

btw, the manager invited ALL the 11 subordinates (1 is a woman and was not invited - which is correct) to his bachelor party.

Pls note : the question is who should the manager(he) invite to the WEDDING ? some, all, or none?

Answer 1

I disagree. There are just some coworkers you are close to and some you don't care for. Personally if I'd been working someplace for just a month or so and was invited to a wedding, I'd feel awkward. It's like you are obligated to bring a gift or it will affect your working relationship, then again you don't know the person you are bringing a gift to well enough to get them anything!

Personally what I really find wrong is the fact that all 11 are men..so its just the one girl that was left out. If he was truly worried about favoritism or someone feeling like an outcast, he wouldn't make it so that only one person IS the outcast. You invite your friends to a bachelor party not everyone you work with. Thats just tacky to exclude only one person at your work b/c she is a woman. I mean you wouldn't feel it was correct if he had a party at his house and invited everyone but Bob?

However since he already invited everyone to the bachelor party yes he has to invite them all to the wedding. It's even worse to invite people to showers or bachelor parties and not the wedding. Yes you are good enough to buy me gifts, but not good enough to actually come and eat my food.

A wedding is not a networking opportunity. You are either close friends with someone or you aren't. You don't invite everyone just to get gifts out of them. They might not know you that well. I think its in poor taste to make someone feel if they don't get you a gift for your wedding that their job will suffer. If its a party and you are inviting nearly all, you should invite all. But a wedding is suppose to be personal. Work is suppose to be equal. I know I worked at a place that always did the $5 for people's birthdays and it made me mad b/c managers made more money so why should I give them money and other coworkers--these people never lasted a year, so I'm shelling out $100 and by the time my birthday rolls around its just $10. Weddings get to be the same way. You get sick of people making you feel obligated to get them a gift for each kids birthday, graduation, wedding.

Answer 2

You have to invite all or none. If you invite none, tell them it's family and close friends and a small event.

Personally, I think it is inappropriate to invite direct reports to a bachelor party. You would need to be on guard and not do anything outrageous, as you do need to remember that you have business relationships to uphold. Especially if you are their manager. This would be crossing the inappropriate conduct line between business life & personal life. I guess it all depends upon what kind of business you are in. But, you should seriously reconsider no direct reports at your bachelor party.

Answer 3

I also agree that it should be all or none, or else it would appear to be favoritism. The only exception to this would be if a longtime friend outside of work also happened to be a subordinate, but that person would also have the sense to keep their mouth shut about the invitation.

Answer 4

The manager did the correct thing by inviting all that were eligible.